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  1. #91
    Senior Member UGLI baby's Avatar
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    ^^^

    I read Franklins post on my phone last night and couldve sworn it was in chinese. Makes a little more sense now, but still...

  2. #92
    Senior Member Cy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Moses View Post
    So today I went to leave for work. I had to load my car up with a bunch of stuff for work and made multiple trips into my house. When I finally had everything in my car I got in and turned it on. I realized I left my sun-glasses inside the house and I was like, "Crap, I got to go back inside again." I opened the door and went to run inside to get them real quick, the only thing is, I had my car in reverse already (it was really early and I didn't get enough sleep.) When I took my foot off the break my car started rolling backwards in my garage. I went to hit the break, but from the weird angle I was at, I hit the gas. My car went flying back and about dragged me under and pinned me against the garage (probably would have killed me) but I hit the break and stopped it, but not before my opened car door got bent backwards Tommy Boy style from my garbage cans. Holy cow was I pissed. I've never done anything stupid like this before, never been in a wreck, only ever had one ticket, so I guess something like this was going to happen? Right? ( I'm just trying to make myself feel better).


    hehepeepeecaca! I'm a dumbass and you can quote that.

    Never forget.
    :^D

  3. #93
    Forým Dark Lord E.J. Wells's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cyrone Torbin View Post
    Never forget.
    I'm quite enjoying these little strolls down mammary lane.
    http://mysteryoftheinquity.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/goodvsevil2.jpg

  4. #94
    Senior Member Cy's Avatar
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    How did this bump not get more attention? This is one of the best GD threads of the past year.
    :^D

  5. #95
    Senior Member dalamon's Avatar
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    Whenever I'm having a bad day, thinking about this thread always makes me feel better. Thanks, ArchiMo

    Quote Originally Posted by fallenchicken View Post
    The sad thing is: the Jazz are playing guys who might not make the team, and certainly won't make the rotation, and they're killing real Lakers players. This is a disaster for LA.

    I love it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhi View Post
    I thought Dal was black for a long time. He was one of the people I was referencing when I told colleagues I have several black friends.

    I still like him irredgardless.
    *confirmed*

    this post is brought to you by Dairy Queen-- home of the Dilly Bar

  6. #96
    Senior Member unluckyseventeen's Avatar
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    Damn, I don't really have any crazy or terribly interesting stories. I have some stories that just plain sucked though, if this thread is about feeling better about yourself. Strangely, after thinking of these, most of them involve the bathroom in some sort...

    When I was probably 15, I went tube fishing with my step dad and step brother, and those of you that have ever tube fished know that getting in and out of the water takes a lot of time. So I'm out on the water, and the wind picks up. Suddenly, I have to pee really bad and am in waders. I struggle to try to get back to shore, without jostling myself too much. Needless to say, I ran out of time and peed my pants. The piss had nowhere to go because I was in waders (water tight), so I sat in my own piss for about 3 more hours out on the lake, pretending as if nothing happened. I smelled like piss when I took the waders off and had to use the campfire to dry myself off, and then force everybody to smell piss for the rest of the night in the tent. That was awkward.

    When I was 17 I took the ACTs. Years prior I took a lot of anti-biotics to help control my awkward teenage acne, which to this day still cause me problems. Needless to say, my stomach is very fragile and I have a long list of foods I can't eat without almost ****ting myself shortly afterward. So, there I am, taking the ACTs. I have the most wicked of wicked stomache-aches, and during the break between test sections I take the biggest wicked, loud dump ever amongst a group of probably 10-15 other guys using the bathroom or filing in and out. I show up to the next segment of the test about 15 minutes late and fail miserably.

    When I was 18, I went with my then girlfriend and her family to a pretty sweet condo in the southern california desert. I had never met them before and they were both pretty rich/pompous/proper people. We sat down to watch a movie, and the surround sound was turned up really loud. Once the movie audio started playing (or music during the studio credits) it blared out really loud sound and her dad about jumped out of his chair from being startled by the loud noise. I laughed really hard, and laughed for a long time, completely interrupting the movie for about the next 10 minutes. It made me laugh so much, I had to poo. So I went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet and laughed to myself for about another 20 minutes, just recollecting about how funny it was to see this rich old guy get scared ****less. It was awkward trying to explain what was going on in the bathroom for that long, as I sort of lost track of time and I'm sure they could hear me roaring with laughter from the other side of the bathroom door. The girl wound up being a 100% crazy bitch, though, so I'm glad I at least got some enjoyment out of that utter waste of time.

    When I was probably 22, I was at a gym shooting hoops by myself. Getting confident and stuff, I run down the floor, pull up for a 15 foot jumper and for some reason my feet never corrected themselves in order to land safely, so I landed right on the side of my ankle and faceplanted straight into the floor. A couple dudes were at the door watching and talking amongst another, so I looked like a total dumbass.. injuring myself when nobody else is even on the court. Then I have to painfully act as if everything is all good and run back down the floor on a badly sprained ankle.

    There, feel better about yourselves and stuff!

  7. #97
    Senior Member dalamon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    I was in a high-end hotel in Miami. My girl was leaving the room (heading back out of town) and, as a goofy joke, I decided to run out of the shower, into the hallway to embarrass her (or me?) all nekked and sudsy and ****. Well .. by the time I made it to the hallway, she was already on the elevator and I didn't have a key to the room. Not knowing what to do, I went to the stairwell .. where a family was walking up from the pool ......

    They gave me a towel so I could ride the elevator to the lobby for a key.


    This thread needed a bump.

    Quote Originally Posted by fallenchicken View Post
    The sad thing is: the Jazz are playing guys who might not make the team, and certainly won't make the rotation, and they're killing real Lakers players. This is a disaster for LA.

    I love it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bodhi View Post
    I thought Dal was black for a long time. He was one of the people I was referencing when I told colleagues I have several black friends.

    I still like him irredgardless.
    *confirmed*

    this post is brought to you by Dairy Queen-- home of the Dilly Bar

  8. #98
    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
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    I hate you Dal. But love your stalking.
    #dumptruckin

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    I h8 u Dal. But luv ur stalking.
    ficksed
    TREYBOT

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  11. #100
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    On my way to work, I stopped to get gas, I forgot my wallet at home but luckily there was a $20 in the cupholder. I went in and prepaid, my mind started wandering thinking about hot babes or something and I got in the car without filling my car with gas and drove off. I was about 5 miles away before I realized I was stilll out of gas and realized what I had done.

  12. #101
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    I posted in a Ute thread and got under the skin of Yewt fanz.

    The end.
    TREYBOT

  13. #102
    the Chief Old D'oh moevillini's Avatar
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    Archie, when I saw this thread title I thought Post Moronic meant "After Moroni" and you wanted people to discuss things that happened after Moroni appeared to Joseph Smith

    Honestly, that's what I thought. OK, that should make you feel better.
    :-)
    Likes Gameface liked this post
     

  14. #103
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    I PayPal'ed UGLI $50.

  15. #104
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Here's one.....

    I started "baking" something in the top half of a double oven a couple hours ago. Problem is, I had turned on the bottom half instead and I just checked and the thing is not cooked at all. I need to get married ASAP. I don't even know how to work an oven properly. I'm an embarrassment to humanity.

  16. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
    Here's one.....

    I started "baking" something in the top half of a double oven a couple hours ago. Problem is, I had turned on the bottom half instead and I just checked and the thing is not cooked at all. I need to get married ASAP. I don't even know how to work an oven properly. I'm an embarrassment to humanity.
    Make up time. Double the temp and it'll cook in half the time!

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