All I know is that in my ward growing we pretty much divided off just like we did at school. There were two cute girls in my ward that I became friends with, and I barely said a word to any of the rest because I wasn't attracted to them. And there were 4 or 5 guys that liked to play ball and were my friends, and the rest of the guys were just kind of there. Granted, I was an arrogant jerk growing up(still working on subduing that part of me in fact) and didn't care about being nice, but that's the way it worked even when you would go to a stake youth activity too. I think people are sometimes guilty of pinpointing the church structure or the church culture as the source of a problem, when it probably was just some mean kids being exclusive for reasons other than anything to do with church.
Well yeah, I'm talking things extant to church. I guess I do remember primary activity days. You go there on a Saturday morning once a month, sing a few songs, munch some doughnuts down, maybe do a service project, and that was that. It's still hard for me to imagine grouping off at that age especially based on religiosity.
People can be mean, thoughtless, selfish, and know it alls.
I like wheat and should eat less meat... more grains.
If I let my testimony be shaken by fellow LDS people being rude and/or behaving badly I woulda been outta the Church a long time ago.
BYU 1984 National Champs.
Yes, let's be honest about it. It is a VERY VERY BROAD generalization. People do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons, many, if not most, of which may not be reasons why you'd do something. You're projecting motives onto other people based how YOU see things. And, as you surely must know, most people see things differently than you do.
As a former LDS (nearly 4 decades active membership in Church), and who left for what I believe to be very valid reasons (over which I stewed and stewed for years before making the break), few things irritate me more than when others try to explain away and minimize my decision by offering some trite cliche (e.g., wanted to sin, didn't really have a testimony, was proud/arrogant, was disobedient, etc., etc.). It was, in my case, a painful and wrenching decision, but also the right one. And having previously spent much time embedded in the ExMo social network (no longer, I grew tired of it many years ago), I can tell you that people's departure stories are as varied as the people who decide to leave.
Although I will say that after hearing a number of these stories, certain common broad themes do emerge, but they apply on a case by case basis and not universally.
Disengage Rant Mode
Nothing against you Bronco. I've just got writer's block today, so I'm in a grumpy mood.
Edit: I think, a lot of the time, it makes it easier to justify your decision to friends and family, and possibly soften their judgments.
If it helps, I've been to Jewish, Catholic, Presbyterian, Methodist, and several non-denominational services throughout my life, all the while being an active LDS member. In fact on Thursday I'm taking my family to a nonLDS church to help the homeless on Thanksgiving for a few hours. I've never felt ostracized for any of that; in fact, most of the time my fellow LDS members have thought that reaching out like that is a good thing. So, hopefully you and your family were just the victim of some "near-sighted" individuals who don't represent the larger church well.
"Giving to the poor is an essential part of Christian morality. I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I’m afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare... If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things that we’d like to do but cannot do because our charitable expenditure excludes them." --C.S. Lewis