Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 20
  1. #1
    Senior Member Archie Moses's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    You've been hehepeepeecaca'd
    Posts
    6,957
    Rep Power
    41

    The Official Save me From Death Thread

    So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!?

    Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

    I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.
    http://jazzfanz.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3&dateline=1372802642

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    9,571
    Rep Power
    0
    Okay, this is good for a little temporary relief. Get in the shower and get it nice and warm, hot even. Take your normal shower, which feels good when your sick anyway. Rubbing one out never hurt, either. Before you get out of the shower crank the knob to cold, not lukewarm, COLD. Stand in that for as long as you can handle. Make sure to soak your head with the cold water. Now get out of the shower and dry off. You'll feel very awake with a clear head and have a lot of energy. It's not going to last very long, maybe 45min-1hr so I guess it's up to you if it's worth it.

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Tabor Heights
    Posts
    12,581
    Rep Power
    0
    Your ex sounds like a winner.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Zulu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    The STG
    Posts
    8,709
    Rep Power
    60
    Sounds like you got SARS.....



    Eat some hot peppers ..
    Lemon honey in hot water..
    Enima
    http://i1150.photobucket.com/albums/o604/sainsbu/ProfessionalTank_zps6f4cddad.png

  5. #5
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    1,434
    Rep Power
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Moses View Post
    So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!?

    Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

    I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.
    How're your dumps, dude?

  6.  

     

  7. #6
    Senior Member Archie Moses's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    You've been hehepeepeecaca'd
    Posts
    6,957
    Rep Power
    41
    Normal poop, guys.
    http://jazzfanz.com/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=3&dateline=1372802642

  8. #7
    Senior Member Cyrone Torbin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Trapped in a Trap
    Posts
    24,043
    Rep Power
    42
    Sleep a ton, eat tomato soup, drink tea.
    'Merican League Consensus (kind of) PWR RANKS

    12) Goose

  9. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Posts
    1,337
    Rep Power
    0
    Garlic.

  10. #9
    Senior Member Beantown's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Look outside your window
    Posts
    6,498
    Rep Power
    33
    Quote Originally Posted by Archie Moses View Post
    So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!? Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

    I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.

    WTF when did you get divorced? Sorry to hear that.

    My advice is a **** load of Advil Cold and Sinus, Mucinex and then sitting in a steam room for 30 min a day.
    GVC'S thoughts on the Jazz drafting Hayward......

    Quote Originally Posted by GVC View Post
    Why not just buy a late 1st and draft Luke Babbitt? Better Body, better basketball skills, better athleticism...

  11. #10
    Senior Member Red Jazz Fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Utah
    Posts
    180
    Rep Power
    15
    You procreated? I'm sorry, I'm an ass!
    Sleep is the best remedy!

  12. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Tabor Heights
    Posts
    12,581
    Rep Power
    0
    echinecea, lots of fluids (water and oj), folic acid, chicken noodle soup/tomato soup

  13. #12
    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    43,999
    Rep Power
    150
    You pansies. Whisky and skanks.
    E.J. Wells vs. NAOS

    The confusion...

    ---
    Pre-season mock (7/13/13) - page 111

  14. #13
    Senior Member Cyrone Torbin's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Trapped in a Trap
    Posts
    24,043
    Rep Power
    42
    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    You pansies. Whisky and skanks.
    To stop the sick, one must get a hoe on the dick.
    'Merican League Consensus (kind of) PWR RANKS

    12) Goose

  15. #14
    In Pursuit of #PKM UGLI baby's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    гег
    Posts
    28,888
    Rep Power
    137
    My ho's R sick.
    #Hope4Hoiberg #OrOllie

  16. #15
    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    43,999
    Rep Power
    150
    Quote Originally Posted by UGLI baby View Post
    My ho's R sick.
    Headaches?
    E.J. Wells vs. NAOS

    The confusion...

    ---
    Pre-season mock (7/13/13) - page 111

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •