The Official Save me From Death Thread

[Archie Moses]

So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!?

Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.

[Gameface]

Okay, this is good for a little temporary relief. Get in the shower and get it nice and warm, hot even. Take your normal shower, which feels good when your sick anyway. Rubbing one out never hurt, either. Before you get out of the shower crank the knob to cold, not lukewarm, COLD. Stand in that for as long as you can handle. Make sure to soak your head with the cold water. Now get out of the shower and dry off. You'll feel very awake with a clear head and have a lot of energy. It's not going to last very long, maybe 45min-1hr so I guess it's up to you if it's worth it.

[Gyp Rosetti]

Your ex sounds like a winner.

[Zulu]

Sounds like you got SARS.....



Eat some hot peppers ..
Lemon honey in hot water..
Enima

[larryselbows]

So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!?

Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.

How're your dumps, dude?

[Archie Moses]

Normal poop, guys.

[Cyrone Torbin]

Sleep a ton, eat tomato soup, drink tea.

[The Black Swordsman]

Garlic.

[Beantown]

So, I usually never get sick. In fact, I don't think I've had a cold in 10 years. Right now, I feel like death. I've had a temp of 101.5 for two days, I've got chills, sweating like Corbin in a suit, eyes and ears and head hurts. If feels like I have so much mucus in my longues that I could vomit swamp thing, my body aches and my back feels like I had standup shower sex with RoseAnne last night, my nose is leaking and I have no energy to go anywhere. Plus, I'm strap for cash so I can't go to the doc. Plus, my ex is pissed at me cause I told her I couldn't take my son tonight. Wtf?!? Any amazing remedies? Anyone wanna take care of me?

I wrote all this on my phone with 1 eye closed so it there are grammatical errors, go beat yourself.

WTF when did you get divorced? Sorry to hear that.

My advice is a **** load of Advil Cold and Sinus, Mucinex and then sitting in a steam room for 30 min a day.

[Red Jazz Fan]

You procreated? I'm sorry, I'm an ass!
Sleep is the best remedy!

[Gyp Rosetti]

echinecea, lots of fluids (water and oj), folic acid, chicken noodle soup/tomato soup

[PKM]

You pansies. Whisky and skanks.

[Cyrone Torbin]

You pansies. Whisky and skanks.

To stop the sick, one must get a hoe on the dick.

[UGLI baby]

My ho's R sick.

[PKM]

My ho's R sick.

Headaches?