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  1. #1
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Finances and marriage........

    How do you married guys play it? Just one bank account free for all that both of you can take whatever out of whenever? Budgets? Multiple accounts? Only care when the purchase is over a certain amount? Hide and seek?

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    Senior Member UGLI baby's Avatar
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    My wife just gives me a cash allowance everyday.

    I can usaully get all the beer, and candy and stuff I need with it, and if I save for a few days can go to a Jazz game or out to a bar with the boys.

    Works for her, works for me. We're happy.
    #lol

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    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
    How do you married guys play it? Just one bank account free for all that both of you can take whatever out of whenever? Budgets? Multiple accounts? Only care when the purchase is over a certain amount? Hide and seek?
    I will buy my wife anything she wants/needs, but she is beyond awful with money and has no access to bank accounts (not on them). No longer carries a credit card, debit card, check book, etc. She's not materialistic, just unconscious. She doesn't mind just being given cash at the beginning of each week, not accountable for what she does with it, and giving me some sanity..

    I am NOT a control freak, it was just so ridiculous that I stopped it and she didn't mind, at all.. works for us.
    #dumptruckin

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    Moderator Stoked's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    I will buy my wife anything she wants/needs, but she is beyond awful with money and has no access to bank accounts (not on them). No longer carries a credit card, debit card, check book, etc. She's not materialistic, just unconscious. She doesn't mind just being given cash at the beginning of each week, not accountable for what she does with it, and giving me some sanity..

    I am NOT a control freak, it was just so ridiculous that I stopped it and she didn't mind, at all.. works for us.

    That right there is an example of what I am thinking. Every couple is different. The above would not work for me. My wife is an office manager and she handles bank accounts with very large sums of money so managing finances is right up her alley. So we have two accounts that she controls. One that are checks go into and one is a savings/backup account for rainny days.
    #BelieveInLindsey #BelieveInSnyder

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    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    I will buy my wife anything she wants/needs, but she is beyond awful with money and has no access to bank accounts (not on them). No longer carries a credit card, debit card, check book, etc. She's not materialistic, just unconscious. She doesn't mind just being given cash at the beginning of each week, not accountable for what she does with it, and giving me some sanity..

    I am NOT a control freak, it was just so ridiculous that I stopped it and she didn't mind, at all.. works for us.
    Did she bring a debt pile into the marriage? My brother's wife sounds similar and traveled on credit cards, had exorbitant students loans considering the school she went to, didn't work while she was just playing around. I don't have a concrete number, but I'm pretty sure she was at least $80,000 or so in debt when they got hitched and didn't have much to show for it. That would be a huge red flag to me.

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    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stoked View Post
    That right there is an example of what I am thinking. Every couple is different. The above would not work for me. My wife is an office manager and she handles bank accounts with very large sums of money so managing finances is right up her alley. So we have two accounts that she controls. One that are checks go into and one is a savings/backup account for rainny days.
    How do you get money then? Just go through her?

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    High Definition Gameface's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
    How do you get money then? Just go through her?
    Right? Am I going to need my hookers to start giving me receipts?

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    Moderator Stoked's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
    How do you get money then? Just go through her?

    We both have cards. I am ok to spend on lunches, or sodas at the gas station, etc..., but I review any big purchases with her before.
    #BelieveInLindsey #BelieveInSnyder

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    if both partners earn a living, how do you guys divvy up the monies?
    each keep their own earned, each keeps a %--rest goes to joint account, savings etc, or each keeps a set amount, etc.?

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    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
    Did she bring a debt pile into the marriage? My brother's wife sounds similar and traveled on credit cards, had exorbitant students loans considering the school she went to, didn't work while she was just playing around. I don't have a concrete number, but I'm pretty sure she was at least $80,000 or so in debt when they got hitched and didn't have much to show for it. That would be a huge red flag to me.
    No, no debt ..

    I would go to work, come home, she asks how was your day .. I'm like how was yours .. she would swear she didn't really do anything .. meanwhile, she is using a cc or debit card over 300 times per month. She would swear it wasn't her .. every month. She's beautiful, she's caring, a great person, but a complete retard with money.

    More than anything I just didn't want all the stupid crap piling up around the house ... she laughs about it now. It's been 10 years that she's on a cash program.

    This may seem unbelievable, but she's just that bad with money.

    She also doesn't ask anything about money. If I said I bought us a new house today, she wouldn't be the list bit offended she didn't get to help choose (though I wouldn't do it that way). I bought her a car and surprised her .. she loved it, I came home with me a new car .. no questioning, at all.

    I know it's strange, but she trusts me to handle the money and she doesn't go without, so it's a good compromise.

    (she has never worked ... other than Hooters)
    #dumptruckin

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    pkm keeps the pimp hand strong

  13. #12
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
    No, no debt ..
    I would go to work, come home, she asks how was your day .. I'm like how was yours .. she would swear she didn't really do anything .. meanwhile, she is using a cc or debit card over 300 times per month. She would swear it wasn't her .. every month. She's beautiful, she's caring, a great person, but a complete retard with money.
    So how long do you think it took to realize she might not be a wizard with money?

    See, that's an interesting angle too. Like you want to enter a marriage in as full disclosure as you can and everything but at the same time you want to find out the negative things that never came up pre-marriage asap so you can adjust. Because when you're dating and footing the bill for most everything it's hard to tell what they will do when they have access to money that they can just freely spend. I don't know how you would get a good sense of it otherwise unless it's just something that she freely admits to or if you're seeing bills everywhere or something. Maybe the old - "If she's carrying around a Frauda bag instead of a Prada bag, she's a keeper." - rule best applies here. Maybe just "forget" to bring up whichever account has most of your pre-marriage assets for a few months until you see what she does with the standard bank account or whatever.

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    We have a bill account that I deposit X amount into each check. She also deposits X, lesser amount, each month. We have a shared account with checking, money market, and savings. Both have debit cards or that account. Have a shared CC account we use for miles and pay off monthly. I use it for my work travel and gas, groceries, etc.

    It helps that my wife is at a job that she gets cash tips (not what you think) and I'm sure she spend a bit more that I know of but she is good about asking me and being cost sensitive. Money isn't an issue in our marriage as we both work and combined make 160k or so.

  15. #14
    In pursuit of #9 PKM's Avatar
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    @Duck

    I was plenty financially successful by the time I first met my wife at 26yrs old. Had lived much more than most by 50 .. I knew what I wanted, had dated plenty, and for me, I wanted someone just like my wife. She's smart, but happy just being freely happy-go-lucky ... she's beautiful and likes nice things, but wouldn't know the difference between frauda and prada..

    She loves going and seeing the world, but happy wherever we live.

    That's what I wanted.. someone that was open to living life, okay with going rather than growing roots .. I get all ways, but my way is DOING, GOING, and living ..

    To answer your earlier question, It took me about 9 seconds to realize she's bad with money .. I was okay with that. It was much better, for me, than finding someone great with money, but a stick in the mud .. or overly pretentious.
    #dumptruckin

  16. #15
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Right on. That's exactly the environment I would want to foster. I'm not expecting to marry the illegitimate bassturd daughter of Warren Buffet or something that understands the perfect use for every dollar. I remember my dad clamping down on my mother's spending to a very austere degree at times growing up for no reason really and the negative impact it had on her attitude at times so that's definitely something that's ingrained in my memory and would ever prevent me from ever being really overprotective with money. It's just money afterall. It's not ultimately that important. You don't need to guard every dollar like it's The Holy Grail.

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