PPG: Bell 10.05, Burks 16.9
Rebounds: Bell 2.25, Burks 4.78
Assists: Bell 1.65, Burks 1.97
Steals: Bell 0.6, Burks 1.125
PER: Bell 9.03, Burks 14.21
It is not even close. It is cute and all that you're trying to establish your individuality by going against the grain, but at least choose a less laughable position to defend.