What's new
By:
Filters

Cheating

Have you ever cheated on your spouse?

  • No

    Votes: 28 93.3%

  • Yes but just one time

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Yes with one partner multiple times

    Votes: 1 3.3%

  • Yes with more than one person

    Votes: 1 3.3%
  • Total voters
    30
  • Poll closed .
I know a lot of people who are polyamorous, most of them are pretty happy. Its a very open honest relationship, which is the part I like. I think a lot of people think of it as swinging though and just sleeping around, that exists but isnt really what it is about. Its about relationships generally. Even people trying to join that lifestyle often mistake it. Also a lot of people think it will fix their relationship and this is far from the truth. I am not in a poly relationship anymore, but still like a lot of the ideas from it. The basic idea of that one person cant really fulfill all you physical, mental, and emotional needs from other people. Often there are needs not met by one person and they can get it from someone else. Most people already do this with various parts, such as having friends for some of those needs. The biggest hurdle that people face with it is that there are society norms that are pushed from a young age so people have those expectations of a relationship. The relationship ladder type thing. You date, you serious date, you are expected to get married, have kids, blah blah blah. Which is fine for some people but not everyone, its also mostly just because that is what was taught and expected though. Plenty of other societies have no problem with different way of going about relationships.

The biggest issue is jealousy. It is really hard to overcome for some people. Also the other biggest issue is guys often push it because they want to sleep with others or whatever and kind of lie about the reason for getting into it. What ends up happening is that the girl ends up getting as many boyfriends as she wants and the guy struggles to find anyone who wants to date a married guy and gets really upset. There are lots of other issues. Really its a fine way to go for a happy couple who is both interested and talks very openly with each other. Its also a really great option for bi people.
 
To answer the OP I have never had an affair in my opinion. My ex would say that I had an emotional affair, but I dont really think thats a thing. I was a dishonest about stuff towards the end of our relationship but honestly had realized for a couple years that we needed to move on from each other in some way. I just didnt know how to handle that when we had been together for a really really long time. That was the hardest thing I had to do in my life, because I loved her and still do, but didnt want to be married to her. Thankfully I dont have any kids I know of. I think if I understood polyamory much earlier in life maybe things would be different. But I am beyond happy with my life right now. I had a few close calls and in retrospect I kind of wish I could go back and just do them. Some of those will never happen to me again, haha. But not really at the end of the day I dont condone that stuff. Ive been around plenty of people that have. Now days I am married for the 2nd time and have not cheated and dont plan to ever. But I am also allowed a certain amount of openness in that regard with carefully placed rules, I feel pretty good about. China is a pretty easy place for guys to pick up girls, but my interest has been pretty low the last year or two.

The better question would have been to ask who has been cheated on, haha. I would also be curious how many people have paid for sex in any form. I never really have, but here in China and other places there are lots of that happening. Most the guys I know here have.
 
Last edited:
JazzGal said:
Polyamory would take very honest conversation. I haven't seen a relationship yet that has survived the attempt, but I've only known a few people who have tried.

Sent from my SM-A426U using JazzFanz mobile app
Click to expand...
I know some who have handled it successfully, for given values of successfully - I think for life is an unrealistic goal at this point, given that the divorce rate for monogamy is so high anyway. I know a relationship or 2 that have lasted several years and only ended with the death of a partner, so that ain't too bad.
 
gandalfe said:
I know some who have handled it successfully, for given values of successfully - I think for life is an unrealistic goal at this point, given that the divorce rate for monogamy is so high anyway. I know a relationship or 2 that have lasted several years and only ended with the death of a partner, so that ain't too bad.
Click to expand...
Well it really depends on cause of death.
 
Here's a funny story that I think speaks to me being faithful.

So, this was about 7 years ago. We were having an afterwork party at a close co-worker's who I was friend's with. Started pretty tame. I brought some beer and was drinking one of those and he had made some Jell-O shots and I had one of those. this one guy made some awful drink in a 32oz stein that had the better part of a bottle of red wine and a good cup or so worth of vodka and maybe something else. He made it and then took a sip and it was **** so he just left it to sit there for the next few hours. Well party is going good. I'm just keeping it level, having some beer, playing some beer pong, listening to a couple ex-cops talk about some stuff, etc.. It's starting to get a little later and a few people have left. I have another jell-o shot and I'm to the point where I'm a little more than buzzed. So we're in the kitchen where this monstrosity of a mixed drink has been sitting all night and someone dared me to take a drink of it. I'm like **** it sure, let's go. As I'm taking a legit drink of it a couple people start chanting "chug, chug, chug" and I was drunk enough to just ****ing do it and I chug the entire 32oz thing spilling it down my shirt and ****. Well, once that started kicking in I decided it was time to let the old wifey know I was ready to be picked up.

My wife gets there and a few people assisted me to the car and helped load me in and buckle me up. The rest is what my wife told me the next day. So When we get home my wife has to help me out of the car and into the house. She said as we were going up our front steps I told her "You're really nice. My wife would probably really like you." Then we got inside and I said I had to go lay down. My wife told me that she would help me get in bed and then I told her "NO!" and she was like uh, I think you might need some help and I told her she couldn't come into the bedroom with me and I hurried into the bedroom and locked the door. She actually had to sleep on the couch that night because I thought she was someone else and I wasn't going to let her sleep in the same bed with me.
 
Gameface said:
Here's a funny story that I think speaks to me being faithful.

So, this was about 7 years ago. We were having an afterwork party at a close co-worker's who I was friend's with. Started pretty tame. I brought some beer and was drinking one of those and he had made some Jell-O shots and I had one of those. this one guy made some awful drink in a 32oz stein that had the better part of a bottle of red wine and a good cup or so worth of vodka and maybe something else. He made it and then took a sip and it was **** so he just left it to sit there for the next few hours. Well party is going good. I'm just keeping it level, having some beer, playing some beer pong, listening to a couple ex-cops talk about some stuff, etc.. It's starting to get a little later and a few people have left. I have another jell-o shot and I'm to the point where I'm a little more than buzzed. So we're in the kitchen where this monstrosity of a mixed drink has been sitting all night and someone dared me to take a drink of it. I'm like **** it sure, let's go. As I'm taking a legit drink of it a couple people start chanting "chug, chug, chug" and I was drunk enough to just ****ing do it and I chug the entire 32oz thing spilling it down my shirt and ****. Well, once that started kicking in I decided it was time to let the old wifey know I was ready to be picked up.

My wife gets there and a few people assisted me to the car and helped load me in and buckle me up. The rest is what my wife told me the next day. So When we get home my wife has to help me out of the car and into the house. She said as we were going up our front steps I told her "You're really nice. My wife would probably really like you." Then we got inside and I said I had to go lay down. My wife told me that she would help me get in bed and then I told her "NO!" and she was like uh, I think you might need some help and I told her she couldn't come into the bedroom with me and I hurried into the bedroom and locked the door. She actually had to sleep on the couch that night because I thought she was someone else and I wasn't going to let her sleep in the same bed with me.
Click to expand...
Always the gentleman.

Here's a more sobering thought (pun, well you know), maybe you didn't think she was hot enough.
 
Gameface said:
Here's a funny story that I think speaks to me being faithful.

So, this was about 7 years ago. We were having an afterwork party at a close co-worker's who I was friend's with. Started pretty tame. I brought some beer and was drinking one of those and he had made some Jell-O shots and I had one of those. this one guy made some awful drink in a 32oz stein that had the better part of a bottle of red wine and a good cup or so worth of vodka and maybe something else. He made it and then took a sip and it was **** so he just left it to sit there for the next few hours. Well party is going good. I'm just keeping it level, having some beer, playing some beer pong, listening to a couple ex-cops talk about some stuff, etc.. It's starting to get a little later and a few people have left. I have another jell-o shot and I'm to the point where I'm a little more than buzzed. So we're in the kitchen where this monstrosity of a mixed drink has been sitting all night and someone dared me to take a drink of it. I'm like **** it sure, let's go. As I'm taking a legit drink of it a couple people start chanting "chug, chug, chug" and I was drunk enough to just ****ing do it and I chug the entire 32oz thing spilling it down my shirt and ****. Well, once that started kicking in I decided it was time to let the old wifey know I was ready to be picked up.

My wife gets there and a few people assisted me to the car and helped load me in and buckle me up. The rest is what my wife told me the next day. So When we get home my wife has to help me out of the car and into the house. She said as we were going up our front steps I told her "You're really nice. My wife would probably really like you." Then we got inside and I said I had to go lay down. My wife told me that she would help me get in bed and then I told her "NO!" and she was like uh, I think you might need some help and I told her she couldn't come into the bedroom with me and I hurried into the bedroom and locked the door. She actually had to sleep on the couch that night because I thought she was someone else and I wasn't going to let her sleep in the same bed with me.
Click to expand...
Fantastic!
 
Gameface said:
I've always thought people think they could handle an open relationship but I think very very few people are actually wired that way. Pretty rare for everyone in a poly relationship to actually be 100% good with it. I think usually there is someone who really wants to be with we'll say person A but person A wants to be in an open relationship so person B is just trying to please them.
Click to expand...
The Poly joke is that there is always a sex imbalance, as in the poly girl will always be having way more sex than the poly guy.
 
Idk if poly people are more or less happy, but it's more to deal with if you're trying to actually do poly relationships and not just one main and a bunch of **** buddies.
 
One Brow said:
So, you're one of those people who think straight men have more sex partners on average than straight women?
Click to expand...
Well on almost every study conducted, men report nearly double the number of sexual partners over their lifetime than women do (in arguably the most famous survey, the Natsal-3, men reported 14 partners, women 7). Even excluding the 99% percentile in those studies show men still have a 30% higher "number" than women. Even taking estimation into account, rather than actually counting partners, men still showed about 25% more partners.

That is a tough one to nail down. Should it be a 1 to 1? Is it mathematically possible that men are at a 25% higher number than women? What if men are including same-sex relationships and women are not? Interesting for sure.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Well on almost every study conducted, men report nearly double the number of sexual partners over their lifetime than women do (in arguably the most famous survey, the Natsal-3, men reported 14 partners, women 7). Even excluding the 99% percentile in those studies show men still have a 30% higher "number" than women. Even taking estimation into account, rather than actually counting partners, men still showed about 25% more partners.

That is a tough one to nail down. Should it be a 1 to 1? Is it mathematically possible that men are at a 25% higher number than women? What if men are including same-sex relationships and women are not? Interesting for sure.
Click to expand...
I think men generally desire multiple partners more than women, but in the case that a women desires multiple partners, they usually have more than men.

I'm sure the number is trending more towards 1:1 as our culture becomes more progressive.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page

Top