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  1. #91
    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JazzSpazz View Post
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    Not too much light though, you know... moderation.
    lol
    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

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  3. #92
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scat View Post
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    Fast forward, my wife and I have three kids while in SoCal and decide to move back to Utah so the kids can be around family growing up. We're trying to raise them to be open and receptive to all races and religions. My oldest daughter was 7. She finds very quickly that she's the outsider even though she's Mormon and active. During Sunday School she mentions having gone to a Methodist service when she lived in SoCal and gets a 10 minute scolding from her teacher about wandering from the path of righteousness. She also finds that when she's at church or church activities she's treated well but the next day at school she's the outcast. Of course she makes friends at school with kids that are not of the faith. This only hastens her expulsion. By the time she's 12 she's done with Mormon kids. When called into the Bishop's office to find out why she's not attending church she flat out tells him that she feels unwelcome and that the other kids in the ward treat her poorly, including the bishop's daughter. Well, that gets me a call into the Bishop's office about my daughter's poor attitude. This was the beginning of the end of my being active. The Bishop couldn't see that his kid as well as others in the ward were being exclusive and highly judgmental, just that my daughter was the problem and that I wasn't doing a good job of raising her.
    How did she get outcast at age 7? Are there even church activities at that age outside of Cub Scouts? It doesn't seem like her getting rebuked by a teacher in church at that age would be meaningful at all to her peers, especially since most of them at her school wouldn't even be in your ward.

    All I know is that in my ward growing we pretty much divided off just like we did at school. There were two cute girls in my ward that I became friends with, and I barely said a word to any of the rest because I wasn't attracted to them. And there were 4 or 5 guys that liked to play ball and were my friends, and the rest of the guys were just kind of there. Granted, I was an arrogant jerk growing up(still working on subduing that part of me in fact) and didn't care about being nice, but that's the way it worked even when you would go to a stake youth activity too. I think people are sometimes guilty of pinpointing the church structure or the church culture as the source of a problem, when it probably was just some mean kids being exclusive for reasons other than anything to do with church.

  4. #93
    Modstapo Stoked's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
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    How did she get outcast at age 7? Are there even church activities at that age outside of Cub Scouts? It doesn't seem like her getting rebuked by a teacher in church at that age would be meaningful at all to her peers, especially since most of them at her school wouldn't even be in your ward.

    All I know is that in my ward growing we pretty much divided off just like we did at school. There were two cute girls in my ward that I became friends with, and I barely said a word to any of the rest because I wasn't attracted to them. And there were 4 or 5 guys that liked to play ball and were my friends, and the rest of the guys were just kind of there. Granted, I was an arrogant jerk growing up(still working on subduing that part of me in fact) and didn't care about being nice, but that's the way it worked even when you would go to a stake youth activity too. I think people are sometimes guilty of pinpointing the church structure or the church culture as the source of a problem, when it probably was just some mean kids being exclusive for reasons other than anything to do with church.
    I have been in wards where "Primary" is highly active.

    Scat if your story is true, and I have no reason to believe otherwise, than I hope you stood up for your daughter and put the Bishop in his place. He is your spiritual advisor, not your father.
    #BelieveInLindsey #BelieveInSnyder

  5. #94
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Well yeah, I'm talking things extant to church. I guess I do remember primary activity days. You go there on a Saturday morning once a month, sing a few songs, munch some doughnuts down, maybe do a service project, and that was that. It's still hard for me to imagine grouping off at that age especially based on religiosity.

  6. #95
    Inconceivable Jazz Spazz's Avatar
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    People can be mean, thoughtless, selfish, and know it alls.

    I like wheat and should eat less meat... more grains.

    Full circle.
    Gobert has a serious defensive gravity.

  7. #96
    Senior Member CONAN's Avatar
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    If I let my testimony be shaken by fellow LDS people being rude and/or behaving badly I woulda been outta the Church a long time ago.
    BYU 1984 National Champs.

  8. #97
    Modstapo Stoked's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CONAN View Post
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    If I let my testimony be shaken by fellow LDS people being rude and/or behaving badly I woulda been outta the Church a long time ago.
    Each of us is different and the problems we deal with are very different. We all have strengths and weaknesses.
    #BelieveInLindsey #BelieveInSnyder

  9. #98
    Senior Member CONAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stoked View Post
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    Each of us is different and the problems we deal with are very different. We all have strengths and weaknesses.
    No doubt.
    BYU 1984 National Champs.

  10. #99
    world's worst Bronco70's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CONAN View Post
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    If I let my testimony be shaken by fellow LDS people being rude and/or behaving badly I woulda been outta the Church a long time ago.
    I hesitate to even say this, because it is a broad generalization, but I've always felt that people who fall away from the church because another member "offended" them were probably looking for an reason to leave anyway. It seems like it has to be deeper than getting your feelings hurt. If the church isn't right for you, I can respect that. But be honest about it.

  11. #100
    Modstapo Stoked's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
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    Well yeah, I'm talking things extant to church. I guess I do remember primary activity days. You go there on a Saturday morning once a month, sing a few songs, munch some doughnuts down, maybe do a service project, and that was that. It's still hard for me to imagine grouping off at that age especially based on religiosity.
    I have been in wards where the Primary set things up based on the Elders Quorum and Relief Society. They would plan Primary activities for the parents that brought their kids to meetings or what not. Service projects, Trunk or Treat, Christmas prgram, Easter Program, Thanksgiving dinner, 4th of July pot luck lunch...all had Primary activites set up.
    #BelieveInLindsey #BelieveInSnyder

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