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Thread: cheating...

  1. #1
    Senior Member asian_roger's Avatar
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    cheating...

    So what would you do if someone you were dating for 6 years cheated on you 4 years ago. At first, when she got caught and when I asked everyone what happened they said it was flirtatious and a make-out session here and there. It was a terrible time for the both of us. She admitted fault, So no worries I forgave her after a long time, then yesterday someone came up and said it was strange that we were together and said she did things much much worse than just make-out. He thought it was ****ed up that I didn't know what really happened. So I was like wait a minute, this is a guy she had beef with so what if he is making up a bunch of ********? Turns out its true after some interrogating and now I am very sick to my stomach and I called it quits immediately. It's just very strange cause everything has been perfect for the past few years and I was pretty close to take the next step. Should it be completely over?

    (crap story...i know..., but I thought peeps on Jazzfanz are pretty smart in this stuff and saw a similar thread somewhere)

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  3. #2
    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    If you totally love her and you believe she is truly sorry, then let it go..
    If you're the type to hold it over her head, bringing it up during every fight, end it.
    If you feel you can't trust her again, end it.

    A great line to remember is "there are plenty of women you can live with, but only one you can't live without."

    Which do you think she is?
    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

  4. #3
    Senior Member UGLI baby's Avatar
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    Damn, that sucks man.

    I would've done the same thing if I were you. Her saying she was sorry and working through it with you, but not actually giving up the whole details is f'd up.

    I will say this though, sometimes people look down upon someone who was cheated on and stayed with a person, but I don't think that should be the case at all. I think it's actually really cool when someone chooses to forgive somebody. I don't know if I could do it though.

    Regardless, my advice would be to just take a step back and not feel like you have to figure out everything with her immediately. This will give you time to decide what's best for you. There's no rush in figuring everything out right away.

    Sorry bro.
    Make jazzfanz UGLI Again

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    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    Good post, Uggs.
    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

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    Senior Member Zulu's Avatar
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    A great line to remember is "there are plenty of women you can live with, but only one you can't live without."

    Which do you think she is?



    Great advice PKM!!

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    Senior Member asian_roger's Avatar
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    Thanks guys, you are very helpful. Rep for all if I can spread it. It was much more insightful and better than the typical response of "**** that ho" I've been getting from my guys or a bunch of simple sorries and drink a beer with me. I think i'll enjoy my space for a few weeks before deciding anything. I am truly grateful for the responses.

  8. #7
    Senior Member candrew's Avatar
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    Even in marriage, a single moment of weakness is forgiveable. But you seem to indicate this happened more than once.

    If that's the case you did the right thing. Trust me, if you take it to the next level with this girl, you will have many tough days and plenty of strains on your marriage - it's virtually unavoidable. And then it will much, much more than just a matter of forgive and forget - they'll be major financial implications, probably children. Not worth it.

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    candrew, where he did indicate it was more than once?

    i fully agree with pkm and ugli.

    asian, details. and i'm not trying to be a dick here. i just would like to know what happened to gauge, imo, how bad it was/is. was she drunk? was it just with some random dude? etc.

    anyway, keep your chin up man.

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    love you pkm bro and ugli bro, but a_roger, i hope u dont listen to them on this topic. well, pkm moreso than ugli. i dont like to give advice until knowing all the details but from what uve told us i would def. let go. i dont like how people make stuff like this an issue of forgiveness. it's not. it's an issue of logic, trust and indication of future behavior. try to take the emotional aspect out of the equation for a bit and just look at the facts. you can forgive her and still be with someone else, that's the ideal solution you should work towards imo. good luck bro.

  11. #10
    the Chief Old D'oh moevillini's Avatar
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    Um, someone came up to you now and told you what "really" happened four years ago? Or that something else has happened more recently? It's not quite the same IMO.
    a blast from the past ... - - - - and a glimpse into the future...
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