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  1. #11
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    pkm keeps the pimp hand strong

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  3. #12
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PKM View Post
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    No, no debt ..
    I would go to work, come home, she asks how was your day .. I'm like how was yours .. she would swear she didn't really do anything .. meanwhile, she is using a cc or debit card over 300 times per month. She would swear it wasn't her .. every month. She's beautiful, she's caring, a great person, but a complete retard with money.
    So how long do you think it took to realize she might not be a wizard with money?

    See, that's an interesting angle too. Like you want to enter a marriage in as full disclosure as you can and everything but at the same time you want to find out the negative things that never came up pre-marriage asap so you can adjust. Because when you're dating and footing the bill for most everything it's hard to tell what they will do when they have access to money that they can just freely spend. I don't know how you would get a good sense of it otherwise unless it's just something that she freely admits to or if you're seeing bills everywhere or something. Maybe the old - "If she's carrying around a Frauda bag instead of a Prada bag, she's a keeper." - rule best applies here. Maybe just "forget" to bring up whichever account has most of your pre-marriage assets for a few months until you see what she does with the standard bank account or whatever.

  4. #13
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    We have a bill account that I deposit X amount into each check. She also deposits X, lesser amount, each month. We have a shared account with checking, money market, and savings. Both have debit cards or that account. Have a shared CC account we use for miles and pay off monthly. I use it for my work travel and gas, groceries, etc.

    It helps that my wife is at a job that she gets cash tips (not what you think) and I'm sure she spend a bit more that I know of but she is good about asking me and being cost sensitive. Money isn't an issue in our marriage as we both work and combined make 160k or so.

  5. #14
    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    @Duck

    I was plenty financially successful by the time I first met my wife at 26yrs old. Had lived much more than most by 50 .. I knew what I wanted, had dated plenty, and for me, I wanted someone just like my wife. She's smart, but happy just being freely happy-go-lucky ... she's beautiful and likes nice things, but wouldn't know the difference between frauda and prada..

    She loves going and seeing the world, but happy wherever we live.

    That's what I wanted.. someone that was open to living life, okay with going rather than growing roots .. I get all ways, but my way is DOING, GOING, and living ..

    To answer your earlier question, It took me about 9 seconds to realize she's bad with money .. I was okay with that. It was much better, for me, than finding someone great with money, but a stick in the mud .. or overly pretentious.
    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

  6. #15
    Senior Member Duck Rodgers's Avatar
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    Right on. That's exactly the environment I would want to foster. I'm not expecting to marry the illegitimate bassturd daughter of Warren Buffet or something that understands the perfect use for every dollar. I remember my dad clamping down on my mother's spending to a very austere degree at times growing up for no reason really and the negative impact it had on her attitude at times so that's definitely something that's ingrained in my memory and would ever prevent me from ever being really overprotective with money. It's just money afterall. It's not ultimately that important. You don't need to guard every dollar like it's The Holy Grail.

  7. #16
    Free at last!!! bigb's Avatar
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    We have one account for everyday needs, and another for our long term savings. About a week before we got married, we closed her account and put it all into one. Now, she doesn't work, so she wouldn't have her own account anyway. We don't really "budget" but our system works for us. Neither of us spend a ton of money. We make no big purchases without discussing it. I check the balance regularly online and let her know where we are. We hide NOTHING from each other financially (or otherwise for that matter). I tell her when I get cash bonuses or exactly how much I get when I take all the scrap wire into the recycling plant. She knows the account number and password to the accounts. Accountability, honesty, and openness is our key.
    ​Gobert or go home


  8. #17
    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck Rodgers View Post
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    Right on. That's exactly the environment I would want to foster. I'm not expecting to marry the illegitimate bassturd daughter of Warren Buffet or something that understands the perfect use for every dollar. I remember my dad clamping down on my mother's spending to a very austere degree at times growing up for no reason really and the negative impact it had on her attitude at times so that's definitely something that's ingrained in my memory and would ever prevent me from ever being really overprotective with money. It's just money afterall. It's not ultimately that important. You don't need to guard every dollar like it's The Holy Grail.
    Right. Mine isn't about penny-pinching .. I'm actually quite loose with money. Very, actually.

    I just HATE waste, detest it. Splurge often works great. Value, for me ..

    just don't buy stupid **** and end up not using it or throwing it away .. if you'll use it, buy it. If it will last longer, make you feel better, pay more ...............
    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

  9. #18
    Senior Member BigWilly087's Avatar
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    Both my wife and I work for now, and we just pool everything into one joint account. I think it's easier to do if you get married relatively young before either party has substantial assets. We keep a healthy reserve in checking, with the rest invested to our Roth IRAs or 401ks. She is really good with money so I don't worry too much, that's not to say I don't audit our online banking from time to time. We don't have a set rule about talking before spending, but as a general rule of thumb we probably at least let the other person know our intention of spending more than a hundred or so on a unexpected item.

    Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk HD

  10. #19
    In pursuit of #9 Dr. Jones's Avatar
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    Did u ask her before buying your Nexus? (or did you come in under the threshold because you signed a multi?)

    Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

  11. #20
    Premium Member bluenote's Avatar
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    We have a joint checking and savings account for all of the bills, mortgage payment, purchases (groceries, car,repairs), trips together, dinners together, etc. and then we each have a separate checking account which we call "fun money". Each month a % from our paycheck is deposited into this checking account and we can spend it which ever way we please without running it by the other. This system has worked great for us as we both want to be involved in our finances, but want a little freedom as well. The key is determining the appropriate amount of fun money in relation to bills and savings.

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