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Am I wrong?

Chris-L

Chris-L

Well-Known Member
Need some impartial input. Me and my wife sat down today to discuss how we are gonna handle our divorce, divide up all of our things etc. She has been in college for the last 5 years, and has racked up like 50k$ in school debt. She wants me to help pay that back. I don't think that's fair. I get nothing from her college education, she gets a career out of it and is going to make a lot more money the rest of her life. We spend most of the money just living because she hasn't worked much while in school. But if she hadnt been in college all these years she could have worked full time and we wouldnt have needed to take out any loans. The other thing is her boobs. We (i) spent 6k$ on implants. Am I being a dick in saying that should be taken into account? obviously we can't split the boobs up, but if we are diving everything down the middle shouldnt that be taken into account? Am I being a dick? please be honest.
 
This is a personal matter, and while I'm sure many will oblige, nobody can really give you an impartial opinion because nobody knows your situation.

According to a quick Google search, typically in these situations, your wife would be responsible for paying the loans, as it is not a marriage related debt. But you should probably talk to a lawyer.
 
I wouldn't pay a cent for the student loans... The job she will have when she graduates, will keep her payments low and she'll be able to get out from underneath them I. Tens years as well!!

The boobs... Well just consider them as a gift to her!!
 
Sorry for your situation, sounds nasty.

My first reaction is to ask: if your marriage had lasted a bit longer and her degree had led to $50,000 in savings, would you have split it or let her keep it all? If the answer is you would have wanted to split a $50,000 profit, then you should definitely consider splitting the $50,000 debt. No opinion on the boobs.

My second reaction is to say that you should probably get a lawyer and let him/her sort things out with your wife's lawyer rather than you trying to sort it out with the wife directly.

My third reaction is to say I've never been involved with a divorce so my opinions are probably worthless.
 
Zulu said:
I wouldn't pay a cent for the student loans... The job she will have when she graduates, will keep her payments low and she'll be able to get out from underneath them I. Tens years as well!!

The boobs... Well just consider them as a gift to her!!
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Very good advice.
 
Hate to say it.. but don't play nice except as it relates to communicating with the kids. She won't.
 
@ siro. Yes this is a personal matter, a very personal one. I bring it up here because if I ask family/friends they will always take my side. I want the opinion of people who know next to nothing about either of us.

@ colton. I get what your saying, but we have 4 kids and live hand to mouth. our marriage would have to had lasted another 15 years for the loans to be payed off and that much to be saved. Whole different ball game. Think of this, if i help her pay the loans back is she going to give me money every month because of my financial investment in her career? Nope. I wish I could afford lawyers, but as I said I can barely make my house payment.

@ zulu. thanks. on both lines.
 
Chris-L said:
@ colton. I get what your saying, but we have 4 kids and live hand to mouth. our marriage would have to had lasted another 15 years for the loans to be payed off and that much to be saved. Whole different ball game. Think of this, if i help her pay the loans back is she going to give me money every month because of my financial investment in her career? Nope. I wish I could afford lawyers, but as I said I can barely make my house payment.
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See my third comment. ;-) But more seriously, give more thought to a lawyer even if it doesn't seem like you can afford one. Especially if there's a chance your wife will go ahead and hire one.

Or perhaps a mediation service like this might work: https://www.nocourtrooms.com/ (Note: I'm not very familiar with mediation services in general, and certainly not familiar with that one in specific.)

And again, my condolences. That's obviously a really tough situation, especially considering the 4 kids. My heart goes out to you.
 
You're not wrong. I don't think you should help pay for her education. It's hers and she's going to be the one benefiting from it. Just like the boobs, you can't split it.

My guess is that you lose out on the boobs issue, but I'm not sure.
 
Tf? They're her loans, she should pay them. I hope you didn't co-sign on any of the loans though.
 
My brother was in a very similar situation. She went through school getting her MBA and in the process, tens of thousands in loans. When they got divorced the judge determined that she was responsible for the loans and since she had an education my brother did not have to pay alimony. She was furious.

Funny part is, even with her MBA she ended up losing the house my brother let her have and now works as a secretary for a construction company. She was good at school but sucks at actually working for a living.
 
thanks everyone for the input. im going to look into the mediation thing a lot more. i think that might help. either way i have a bad feeling this is going to get really bad really fast. she played the "you have no legal rights" card on my (step)daughter that i have raised since the day she was born, who has never met or known she has a biological dad. over my dead body. take the house, the cars, take it all. I will not lose my children.
 
Sorry man.

I have no good advice. I just hope you get time with the children, that is huge.

Hang in there.
 
Consider the option here.

Don't mention the boob job. That's classless.

Accept the responsibility for the loans as a write-down on child support across a few years. It'll get her on her feet and she won't be able to plead need so much in the future for herself or the kids. It'll smooth over a lot of ruffled feathers, too.

Surely the plan was that she would use her increased income to help with the family expenses later on.

I think the least-destructive plan is the best.
 
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