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Biggest things our Utah Jazz should do

Discussion in 'Utah Jazz' started by Jazz Spazz, Nov 5, 2012.

  1. Jazz Spazz

    Jazz Spazz Inconceivable Moderator

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    1. Win
    2. Score more points than the other teams

    Things to do that result in 1 and/or 2

    3. Rebound more than other team
    4. Make more FT's than other team
    5. Turn the ball over less than the other team
    6. Make more baskets than the other team
    7. Make more 3pt shots than the other team
    8. Steal the ball from the other team
    9. Block shots from the other team
    10. Shoot at least 75% FT every game
    11. Pass out of double teams effectively
    12. Shoot around 50% from the field and 40% from 3
    13. Box out
    14. "Evans" at least one player from the opposing team per game

    Things to do that result in 3-14

    15. Hustle every play, do not coast... ever
    16. Be mentally in the game
    17. Know what the heck you are doing out there
    18. Don't take stupid shots or do stupid things
    19. Don't Rickroll the fans
    20. Listen to the coaches
    21. Do not "Roger" the Head Coach

    Things to do that result in 15-21
    22. Watch game film
    23. Listen to your coaches
    24. Work hard in the offseason on conditioning and your game
    25. Play simon says with Jefferson
    26. Care about winning
    27. Do not plan vacations during playoff runs
    28. At least pretend to like the city that supports you
    29. Have a song that pumps you up for the game -- AKA -- Thunderstruck, Never Gonna Give You Up, etc...
    30. Sign crap for the fans, so you get more cheering to pump you up like Hans and Franz

    Deep thoughts by Jack.... um... I mean ... a Sicilian War starter.
     
    Last edited: Nov 5, 2012
    nightmare3983 and Hartsock like this.
  2. bovice

    bovice Active Member

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    Things that result in 1 and/or 2:

    Free Burks

    and what does 14 even mean?
     
  3. Gyp Rosetti

    Gyp Rosetti Banned

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    Move to Seattle.
     
  4. Saint Cy of JFC

    Saint Cy of JFC Well-Known Member

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    31. Change the age on their birth certificates to 22 or younger, that way Jazzfanz will love all of them equally.
     
  5. Hartsock

    Hartsock Banned

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    76. Get laid on the reg
     
  6. Jazz Spazz

    Jazz Spazz Inconceivable Moderator

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    C'mon, an "Evans" is something for the highlight reel.

    Dang, I forgot to add in the Free Burks and trade ideas.
     
  7. nightmare3983

    nightmare3983 First BF League CHAMP Contributor

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    I like this list. I would change #11 to say "pass effectively out of double teams" because it's one thing to barely get the ball out and gain no advantage and it's another to actually get the defense scrambling and get a good look out of it. But nice list.
     
  8. Stifle Tower

    Stifle Tower Punch Bowl Re-Filler

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    32. Change the age on Burks' birth certificate to 30, that way Corbin will play him.
     
  9. Dr. Jones

    Dr. Jones In pursuit of #9 Contributor

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    Fire Sidney Lowe.
     
  10. Jazz Spazz

    Jazz Spazz Inconceivable Moderator

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    Who is she?
     
  11. CitizenofCapua

    CitizenofCapua Well-Known Member

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    97. Never play Princeton offense and let Lakers try it.
     
  12. nightmare3983

    nightmare3983 First BF League CHAMP Contributor

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    57: Based on some of last year's problems, coaching staff (especially Ty), communicate with the players. Let them know what you expect from them if they want to keep getting their minutes or start getting minutes. Players, communicate with the coaching staff. Find out what they want to see to earn playing time.
     
  13. Dr. Jones

    Dr. Jones In pursuit of #9 Contributor

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    Don't be so defensive.
     
  14. Jazz Spazz

    Jazz Spazz Inconceivable Moderator

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    No, seriously. Who is she?
     
  15. Dr. Jones

    Dr. Jones In pursuit of #9 Contributor

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    Okay, I get it. GREAT question!!! Wtf is Sidney Lowe?!!?
     
  16. BabyPeterzz

    BabyPeterzz Late Stage Rebuilder Contributor

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    69, dudes. Wait for more than 3 regular season games before making assumptions.
     
  17. jumpin bean

    jumpin bean Active Member

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    fire Corbin,hire Taylor Swift to coach,she can sing to the team during timeouts ,pregame,halftime,any time.Rehire Sloan as assistant to toughen these softies up,turn alluminum into steel.then have every player get mandatory tattos on their bodies of every girl that has broke their heart,so they can look at them and get mad and use it as fuel to play tough.Last every player changes their name like world peace did,but something intimidating like Spurs Slayer or Laker Killer,then we are ready to dominate the league.
     
  18. sojodave

    sojodave Well-Known Member

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    Hey, Hey, Ho, Ho, Sidney Lowe has got to go!. It's all his fault.
     

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