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Biggest things our Utah Jazz should do

Jazz Spazz

Jazz Spazz

Inconceivable
Staff member
1. Win
2. Score more points than the other teams

Things to do that result in 1 and/or 2

3. Rebound more than other team
4. Make more FT's than other team
5. Turn the ball over less than the other team
6. Make more baskets than the other team
7. Make more 3pt shots than the other team
8. Steal the ball from the other team
9. Block shots from the other team
10. Shoot at least 75% FT every game
11. Pass out of double teams effectively
12. Shoot around 50% from the field and 40% from 3
13. Box out
14. "Evans" at least one player from the opposing team per game

Things to do that result in 3-14

15. Hustle every play, do not coast... ever
16. Be mentally in the game
17. Know what the heck you are doing out there
18. Don't take stupid shots or do stupid things
19. Don't Rickroll the fans
20. Listen to the coaches
21. Do not "Roger" the Head Coach

Things to do that result in 15-21
22. Watch game film
23. Listen to your coaches
24. Work hard in the offseason on conditioning and your game
25. Play simon says with Jefferson
26. Care about winning
27. Do not plan vacations during playoff runs
28. At least pretend to like the city that supports you
29. Have a song that pumps you up for the game -- AKA -- Thunderstruck, Never Gonna Give You Up, etc...
30. Sign crap for the fans, so you get more cheering to pump you up like Hans and Franz

Deep thoughts by Jack.... um... I mean ... a Sicilian War starter.
 
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31. Change the age on their birth certificates to 22 or younger, that way Jazzfanz will love all of them equally.
 
I like this list. I would change #11 to say "pass effectively out of double teams" because it's one thing to barely get the ball out and gain no advantage and it's another to actually get the defense scrambling and get a good look out of it. But nice list.
 
57: Based on some of last year's problems, coaching staff (especially Ty), communicate with the players. Let them know what you expect from them if they want to keep getting their minutes or start getting minutes. Players, communicate with the coaching staff. Find out what they want to see to earn playing time.
 
fire Corbin,hire Taylor Swift to coach,she can sing to the team during timeouts ,pregame,halftime,any time.Rehire Sloan as assistant to toughen these softies up,turn alluminum into steel.then have every player get mandatory tattos on their bodies of every girl that has broke their heart,so they can look at them and get mad and use it as fuel to play tough.Last every player changes their name like world peace did,but something intimidating like Spurs Slayer or Laker Killer,then we are ready to dominate the league.
 
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