How long would you let someone pee on you for $300 a day?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by HeavenHarris, Dec 14, 2012.

  1. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    Hypothetical scenario:

    An anonymous billionaire is privately funding this. You will never meet them. They are not filming or recording any aspect of this; they simply enjoy knowing they have this kind of power.

    Each day you are woken up by a man peeing on you. This man has been hired by the billionaire to pee on you. They are regularly checked by doctors to make sure they are healthy and infection-free. Regardless, urine is sterile. Stinky, but harmless.



    As soon as the pee hits your face (and oh yes, he'll aim for the face) you can jump out of bed and go to the shower. While you are showering the man who pees on you will switch your mattress, put on new sheets and leave $300 in cash on your dining room table.

    The above situation will happen every single day for the rest of your life until one evening you decide you do not want to be peed on the next morning and cancel. Then it can never start again. Ever.

    A few conditions:
    -You may have as much or as little interaction with the man who pees as you want
    -The man who pees will act as an alarm clock/wake-up call. You can tell him to begin peeing at 6:30am and that's exactly when he will start.
    -If you share the bed with someone he will be aiming for you. Spashback onto the sleeping partner is a possibility.
    -If you go on vacation he travels as well. He will typically stay in the hotel room next to yours.

    The question is: How long would you let this go on?
     
    8 likes this.
  2. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    Follow-up question ... For $300 a day, would you rather be the man who pees?
    Same restrictions would apply (but obviously in reverse). This means that whoever you pee on you are bound to. If they travel, you travel. You will have to live in their city (or at least a sensible commute). You will have to wake up early for your alarm clock function It will be you to picks up the new mattress the day before and disposes of the soiled one. Roughly an hour or work a day for $300. Is this preferable to being peed on given the mobility restrictions?
     
  3. UGLI baby

    UGLI baby Well-Known Member

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    I lol'd the entire time I read it.

    Will double pos later.

    Question:

    Am I allowed to wear some sort of mouth protector to bed? What about goggles? How much is the pee'r being paid?
     
  4. Gas

    Gas Well-Known Member

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    I wouldnt do it. Money just isnt that important to me. I wouldnt even chop off my pinky for 50 million. My health and dignity are my most treasured assets.
     
  5. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    No protection--pee'r is checked regularly and the pee is 100% safe. That's all the protection you get. No covering up with sheets or anything either.
    $300 (see follow-up question).
     
  6. UGLI baby

    UGLI baby Well-Known Member

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    Problem with this scenario is, the only way it's worth it at all is if you just get totally into the groove of getting pee'd on every morning to the point where it doesn't even phase you anymore. Then you're basically getting paid $100,000/year for something that lasts 2 seconds everyday and doesn't bother you that much.

    But, if you try it one day and get $300 or last a week and get $2,100 and just can't handle anymore, that would freaking suck.

    Ya, I don't think I could do it.
     
  7. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    Fair enough. But just to be clear, there are no health risks involved here. Also: the $300 is straight cash, no taxes.
     
  8. Saint Cy of JFC

    Saint Cy of JFC Well-Known Member

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    No, this would prevent you from ever sleeping with women.

    Me: "Hey, you want to have sex again"

    Chick: "No, last time I was woken up by some dude pissing on us"
     
  9. bordelais7

    bordelais7 Contributor

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    Chris Paul would pay the pee-er $300/day for the privilege.
     
  10. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    Another condition: You can actually choose any time of day to be peed on. Like if you work the night shift or something and actually go to bed in the morning. Or for example if you take an afternoon nap and wake up at 2PM, you may choose to be pee'd on at 2PM. Under this scenario, you would NOT be pee'd on in the morning. As long as you are awoken once every 24 hours by the pee, you meet the required conditions. No, you may not request to be pee'd on more than once every 24 hours. Well, you can ask the pee'r and he might oblige, but you will not be paid for it.
     
  11. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    Please consider this follow-up question if you would decline to be pee'd on.
     
  12. JimLes

    JimLes Well-Known Member

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    **** no! I have a deviated septum. I sleep with my mouth open.
     
  13. Dr. Jones

    Dr. Jones In pursuit of #9 Contributor

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    No, you idiot.
     
  14. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    No to just being pee'd on or No to also being the pee'r?
    Maybe I am an idiot bro but $100k+ is a lot of money to a lot of people, especially for so little time of 'work'... we're not all hot shot general forum presidents ya know. I think a lot of people would do this for a long time.
     
  15. Scat

    Scat Well-Known Member

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    2 questions...

    1. What happens if I wake up before being pee'd on? Do I skip that day?
    2. Is the money tax free?
     
  16. HeavenHarris

    HeavenHarris Banned

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    1. If you wake up a few moments before your alarm was to go off you must lay there until the first drop of piss hits you. You can have a conversation with the man who pees if you like. Or simply maintain the world's most awkward eye-contact.
    2. 100% tax free. No paper trail whatsoever. Straight cash homey.
     
  17. Dr. Jones

    Dr. Jones In pursuit of #9 Contributor

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    That's hilarious! LOL

    I'm in for $100 ... but for $75 I'm out, dude.
     
    colton likes this.
  18. Scat

    Scat Well-Known Member

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    To answer your original post, not only no but HELL NO! What is wrong with you?

    Wait, I have another question.

    Can I choose the pee'er if I take $50 less per day? Waking up to Kate Beckinsale pee'ing on me seems slightly less creepy.
     
  19. spycam1

    spycam1 Well-Known Member

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    Another condition:

    The person peeing on you is dal.
     
  20. JimLes

    JimLes Well-Known Member

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    Isn't this the sort of stuff you'd have to pay for, not the other way around?
     

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