Retired Jazz Players

Discussion in 'Utah Jazz' started by UtahJazz32, Feb 10, 2019 at 6:57 PM.

  1. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Jazzfanz,

    I wanted to create a post about retired Jazz players and what they are up to. Thought it would be a pleasant change from the norm at this point in the season.

    John Ameachi became a psychologist.

    Please share your news and wisdom on this topic,
     

  2. homeytennis

    homeytennis Well-Known Member

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    John Stockton became an assistant women's basketball coach at Montana State univ. The fact his daughter was on the team probably had nothing to do with it.
     
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  3. infection

    infection Well-Known Member Staff Member 2018 Award Winner

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    Raul Lopez became an assistant coach.

    Matt Harpring became a color commentator.

    Thurl Bailey likewise.

    John Stockton is a recluse unless his son plays for the Jazz.

    Karl Malone owns a business with his daughter and connected with his son that there was previous controversy with.

    Jeff Hornacek became a scapegoat for Tom Dolan.

    Jaron Collins is with the Warriors and still has a standing offer to return to the Jazz on a vet minimum deal.

    Kirk Snyder disappeared into the 2000s and hasn’t been seen since.

    Jacque Vaughn got a ring.

    So did DeShawn.

    Rony Seikaly, all kidding aside, is a DJ.

    Olden Polynice is awaiting a call from his agent about replacing OJ Simpson in The Naked Gun 4-Play.

    Dell Curry is working on getting one of his sons on the Jazz.

    Mark Jackson was blackmailed by a former lover regarding his extramarital affairs.

    Derek Fisher something similar.

    AK is still getting hounded by TMZ at LAX about his free pass.

    Boozer is tearing up China. He’s literally a (former) Bull in a China shop.

    CJ Miles is on the waiver wire and, had he stayed in school, would only be in his fifth year of a neurosurgery residency.

    Robert Whaley was involved in some kind of scam with BYU Independent Study.

    Mark Eaton owns a restaurant called Tuscany. He apparently didn’t invest in an opportunity to own a family restaurant called Eatin’ at Eaton’s.

    Greg Ostertag came out of retirement to play for the Texas Legends.

    Keith McLeod hired his former high school coach to tattoo “19-13” to his upper back.

    Bryon Russell participated in a publicity stunt where the Utah Flash stayed they’d host a 1 on 1 rematch between Bryon and Jordan.

    DWill lives in Utah.
     
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  4. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    The mailman owns many business as per Wikipedia. He looks like he is keeping busy


    Businesses

    Malone is the owner of Teriyaki Grill, Eskimoe's Ice Cream, and Arby's in Ruston, Louisiana.[60]

    He also owns two car dealerships in Utah. Karl Malone Toyota is in the Salt Lake City suburb of Draper, Utah, while Karl Malone Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram is in Heber City, Utah. Malone previously co-owned a Toyota dealership in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with Larry H. Miller Dealerships, but sold his share in 2010. He also co-owned a Honda dealership in Sandy, Utah, with John Stockton, but sold his share, again to Larry H. Miller Dealerships, in 2010.

    Malone also owns three Jiffy Lube franchises in Utah, and is a part owner of Burger King franchises in Utah and Idaho.[60]
     
    str8line likes this.
  5. Avery

    Avery Well-Known Member

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    Ben Handlogten lives in my basement. Bastard is always cooking curry and stinking up the joint. Assuming the explosions are him playing Grand Theft Auto and not from cooking meth.
     
  6. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    I think Milt Palacio coached the Belize men's basketball team and is the
    director of player development at the University of Idaho. Wikipedia
     
  7. SCS

    SCS Well-Known Member

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    Post of the year nominee
     
  8. homeytennis

    homeytennis Well-Known Member

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    UofI is having a horrible basketball season this year.
     
  9. LoPo

    LoPo Well-Known Member

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    Well freaking done my friend

    Sent from my VS995 using JazzFanz mobile app
     
  10. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    Michael Ruffin did some work with the Pelicans as a player developmental coach. He still tosses balls into the rafters in practice I hear
     
  11. fishonjazz

    fishonjazz Well-Known Member Contributor 2018 Award Winner

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    Lolololololololololololololol
    Thats gold


    Sent from my iPad using JazzFanz mobile app
     
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  12. infection

    infection Well-Known Member Staff Member 2018 Award Winner

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    John Crotty does color commentary for the Heat.

    David Benoit became a Jazz musician.

    José Ortiz helped the entire island nation of Puerto Rico launch an online troll campaign to get Raul Lopez waived and have Carlos Arroyo start.

    Walter Palmer ended up killing Cecil the Lion.

    Isaac Austin had a nephew who went to Baylor, Isaiah Austin, who DL planned to draft until he was diagnosed with Marfan’s Syndrome.

    Larry K. coaches the U.

    Felton Spencer, Howard Eisley, and Shannon Anderson became a part of Scott Layden’s “obtain anyone with a Utah connection” during his NYK reign. Other notables were Travis Knight, Keith Van Horn, Michael Doleac, among some other in forget.

    Jay Humphries, after being obtained by trading for Blue Edwards, was then traded for Blue Edwards who was then on another team.

    Greg Foster became a douche and I saw his naked *** in the local gym.

    Antoine Carr is still a badass.

    Scott Padgett coaches college somewhere.
     
    fishonjazz, b_line and UtahJazz32 like this.
  13. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    Mark Jackson's momma is tired of seeing that man go by.
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2019 at 8:14 PM
    b_line and campaignist like this.
  14. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    Great sequel, follow up sir.
     
  15. UtahJazz32

    UtahJazz32 Well-Known Member

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    Chris Morris took up MMA because he still has anger issues and Shandon Anderson got diagnosed with sleep apnea because he still looks sleepy all the time.
     
  16. bigb

    bigb Free at last!!! Contributor

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    Kris Humphries became a Kardashian and was named the most hated player in the league. He got replaced by Kanye and his Yeezy line.
     
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  17. Xthren

    Xthren Well-Known Member

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    Boris Diaw is trying to open a string of coffee shops in France called Boris Brews

    Jeremy Evans is drawing a picture of himself drawing a picture of him jumping over a picture of him drawing a picture

    Kyrylo Fesenko is still taking everyone literally and got lost looking for his smokes

    Jeff Withey has broken up and gotten back together with his pornstar girlfriend 5 times now

    Gordon Hayward is contemplating breaking his other foot so he can do the moon walk forwards

    Sundiata Gaines still reminds everyone of the time he beat the cavs all by himself

    Morris Almond takes 30 minutes to get home on a 10 minutes drive because he is still afraid to pass

    Curtis Borchardt has become a marvel of science with bones made of glass
     
  18. Xthren

    Xthren Well-Known Member

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    dee brown lives in idaho because he is still trying to ride Deron Williams coat tails
     
  19. str8line

    str8line Well-Known Member Contributor

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    LOLOLOL at the Haywad one.
     
  20. str8line

    str8line Well-Known Member Contributor

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    Dude, you're a freak and we all love it.
     

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