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My Theory Is...

Gameface

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That one of you nasty rotten SOBs started dating Jazz_Fannatic and you're such a controlling monster that you forced her to deactivate her account and now you've got her chained up in you basement.

Prove me wrong!
 
She just texted me and wanted me to tell all of you that she hates all of you tools and you are all the reason she left. She also expressed her dying love of my mustache, my moobs, and my massive UPS package. For some reason, she also told me how much her sister wants me, and proved it with a bunch of sexy pictures. In short, she wants all of you to suck rocks.
 
She just texted me and wanted me to tell all of you that she hates all of you tools and you are all the reason she left. She also expressed her dying love of my mustache, my moobs, and my massive UPS package. For some reason, she also told me how much her sister wants me, and proved it with a bunch of sexy pictures. In short, she wants all of you to suck rocks.

Prime suspect #2
 
Listen, pieholes. I already told you what she said. You'll notice that she didn't bother denying it, right? Get over it, she hates you.
 
Listen, pieholes. I already told you what she said. You'll notice that she didn't bother denying it, right? Get over it, she hates you.

Well, I just talked to her and she said she hates you and never said any of that.
 
Listen, pieholes. I already told you what she said. You'll notice that she didn't bother denying it, right? Get over it, she hates you.

Look. You're cute, intelligent, and wickedly witty, but I will not put up with you calling everyone but me, here, a piehole. Don't make me do what I don't wanna do. Because I love you.. but I'll do it, if you make me, and stuff.
 
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