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Filomena Tobias, the angry Heat fan who gave Joakim Noah the finger, has a crazy backstory

Yeah, either way you slice it she's an ice cold pirate hooker.
 
I'll sum this story up for everyone who doesn't want to click the link.

She was married to a CNBC commentator and "financial wizard" (yeah the story calls him that), Seth Tobias. He died in their pool. It's alleged that she drugged him and lured him into the pool. She says no, he drugged himself with a bunch of cocaine and she said if he came into the pool she'd get a male go-go dancer to do it with him...then he came into the pool and drowned. So, either way you slice it...
 
Well, no matter how bad my life...at least I'm not married to Filomena.
"Filomena's third husband, divorce lawyer Jay Jacknin, served as one of her lawyers in the cases surrounding Seth Tobias' death, and offered this description: “She had a great body. Women love her. Men find her fascinating. I just couldn’t afford her.”"
 
Moral of the story: if you hear your wife say. "C'mon, Tiger," she's either really hot for you, fantasizing about a certain golfer, or get ready to stuff money in a male dancer's g-string.
 
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