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By:

JC31 at WF TriBeCA

UB

UB

100% certified ****boii
Contributor
I talked to Jarron "Tree" Collins last night at Whole Foods in TriBeCa, Manhattan.

He was going to ask me a question, since he saw me as an employee and someone who could answer such questions.

I saw him as JC. And as a very, very tall black man that stands out like a normal-stature black man in Utah.


He was about to initiate his question, when I said "Go Jazz."

He said, "What?"

I said, "Go Jazz," and smiled earnestly.

He replied, "Oh, yeah, I'm a Jazz. Do you have goat's milk?"

I told him we surely did, and directed him to its location in our dairy cooler.




He was also wearing a shirt that said "Running Sucks."


I wish I were making this up.

-UB on the scene
 
I knew without asking that he was a Lact-tard. Poor tummy.

'member his massif dunks!?

Thanks for your help UB
 
I feel like you dawwgs needed more.





"I saw him looking at me from across the grocery aisle. He wanted something, I could tell. He had those...eyes that suggested he wanted more than just a can of beans and some 9 inch salami to satiate his palate.

So I approached him. Gently. With a swagger that only another man who lived in Utah would understand. Again...gently.

Can I help you, I said, with a piece of D'Affinois in hand.

Yes, I'm looking for...wait. Is that a tattoo of my face on your neck?

Excuse me, sir?

Yeah, that's ME on your neck!?!

Sir, if you have a complaint, I can--

No, No. It's...it's fine. It's fine.

Mr. Collins, SIR. Let me go get my manager. We can work this out.

Hey. HEY! I said, it's FINE. It's...........fine.

Well then, what were you looking for, Big Tree?

.

.

.

.

How about a 9 inch salami to satiate my palate?





Then I proceeded to gurgle Tree balls."
 
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