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End of the world is next Saturday. What do you have planned?

What do you have planned for May 21st?

  • Hallelujah! Praise Jesus! My time is here and I am off to heaven. Suck it sinners.

    Votes: 3 16.7%
  • I'm off to meet my maker... in hell. Hail Satan.

    Votes: 3 16.7%
  • Something productive like eating a package of 64 slice of cheese.

    Votes: 6 33.3%
  • I believe is a lot of dumb crap. But even this is ridiculous.

    Votes: 6 33.3%

  • Total voters
    18
  • Poll closed .

Chad Feldheimer

Well-Known Member
Yup. You're down to less than a week.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/...-21-may-around-6pm-to-be-precise-2254139.html

All across america, true believers are quitting their jobs, blowing through their life savings, and spreading the word... Jesus is back! Should be a good time.

Mr Camping's argument has convinced Adam Larsen, 32, from Kansas. He is among scores of "ambassadors" who have quit their jobs to drive around America in Family Radio vehicles warning of the impending apocalypse. "My favourite pastime is raccoon hunting," Mr Larsen told CNN. "I've had to give that up. But this task is far more important."

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Would be fun to drive that car around after the 21st though huh?
 
That kid on the right looks totally dejected. His hands are stuffed into his pockets, he's saggin', and like, 'What the **** did I sign up for? This ****'s a crock."
 
covered in TULT already, but here it is again...


https://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus....
and furthermore..

...Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.

For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. (Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT)

HA HA, I just checked the link, they've raised their prices since that last post! Base price is now $135 plus $20 for a second pet! But good news for those in IOWA and ILLINOIS, those states are now covered as well!

and I guess it's a good time for this!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g
 
I would have voted for cheese (duh) but I do that anyway.
 
Does anyone know what they are basing this on? Did someone just pull this out of their *** and all the followers fell in line, or is there an actual argument being used to convince the followers that this date is legit?
 
Does anyone know what they are basing this on? Did someone just pull this out of their *** and all the followers fell in line, or is there an actual argument being used to convince the followers that this date is legit?

here's some information to answer your question, it was revealed to me by some miracle...

Over the last few centuries, believers in the rapture of the church have made predictions regarding the date of the event. The primary scripture reference cited against this position is Matthew 24:36, where Jesus is quoted saying; "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only" (RSV).

Any individual or religious group that has dogmatically predicted the day of the rapture, referred to as "date setting", has been thoroughly embarrassed and discredited, as the predicted date of fulfillment came and went without event. Some of these individuals and groups have offered excuses and "corrected" target dates, while others have simply released a reinterpretation of the meaning of the scripture to fit their current predicament, and then explained that although the prediction appeared to have not come true, in reality it had been completely accurate and fulfilled, albeit in a different way than many had expected.

Conversely, many of those who believe that the precise date of the rapture cannot be known, do affirm that the specific time frame that immediately precedes the rapture event can be known. This time frame is often referred to as "the season". The primary section of scripture cited for this position is Matthew 24:32-35; where Jesus is quoted teaching the parable of the fig tree, which is proposed as the key that unlocks the understanding of the general timing of the rapture, as well as the surrounding prophecies listed in the sections of scripture that precede and follow this parable.

Some notable rapture predictions include the following:

* 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.

* 1914, 1918, 1925, 1942 and 1975 - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses
* 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.[61]
* 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.
* 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
* 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.
* 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.
* 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6th, 1994.
* 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.


wikipedia is my FRIEND
:-)
 
and this reminds me, wasn't there some group of Asians found dead in a dormitory in somewhere in California a few years back who supposedly had taken their own lives because they believed it was time for the Rapture?


edit: ok, I got confused, I think I'm thinking of the Heavens Gate suicide in southern California in 1997 or so when 39 people took their own lives expecting that the Comet Hale-Bopp would pick them up and take they to a "higher level"
 
Screw it, lets burn this bitch to the ground if we only have a week.
I had a good run, it's time for round 2-- zombie hunting.

Who's with me?
 
* 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.

I was in Korea, on my mission at this time. They had vans with loudspeakers that would crawl through the city streets. It was quite the spectacle.

But then, Korean garbage trucks also have loudspeakers and play music, so I guess it's all relative.
 
I wonder how The End happens. It probably starts with an earthquake. Then birds and snakes. Maybe even an aeroplane. Anyway, I feel fine.
 
So does this mean this year's NBA darft doesn't even matter?
Why are we wasting our time talking about it, and posting page after page about who the Jazz should pick and why?
 
So does this mean this year's NBA darft doesn't even matter?
Why are we wasting our time talking about it, and posting page after page about who the Jazz should pick and why?


According to this wack bag - the rapture is the 21st of May; but the actual end of the world will occur on October 21.

So I say we go ahead with the draft and the summer league. You might even get in a couple pre-season games too before you all burn in a lake of fire while I ascend in to heaven on a Chariot made of feathers and chocolate.
 
According to this wack bag - the rapture is the 21st of May; but the actual end of the world will occur on October 21.

So I say we go ahead with the draft and the summer league. You might even get in a couple pre-season games too before you all burn in a lake of fire while I ascend in to heaven on a Chariot made of feathers and chocolate.

Just don't ascend too close to the sun.
 
Moe, the "un-Christians" call it 'caught up' and probably haven't known the word rapture since the prairie crossin' days. Now that that's all cleared up, I remember an old Dave Berry column joking about a rapture notification service similar to your pet service. TULT for those of you who know you're getting twinkled and want your unprincipled barbaric kin to know they still have a chance before the tribulation: [url[/MEDIA]https://www.youvebeenleftbehind.com/services.html[/url] That link brings more comfort to the Armageddon anticipating mind than owning a pile of gold nuggets.

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And a song about the rapture or something, I can't really figure it out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-NLa1K7Dj8
 
My knee was hurting and I didn't sleep much so I didn't go yesterday. Dang, I wish I read this earlier.

I'm sure you can find a Friday Catholic congregation to attend or a Thursday night Baptist revival if you feel the need to commune with God before next Saturday. That is if you don't mind mingling with others that belong to a church that is not the one true church.

On second thought. Maybe you should just skip it. Better to stay on earth and miss the rapture than go to hell.
 
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