Nicknames for the New Guys - 2022-23 Edition

[LogGrad98]

Ok let's get some nicknames up in here. I know a few of these have already been around the league, but we can always re-christen them here. Just no new bris, if you get my drift.

Simone Fontecchio
Walker Kessler
Lauri Markkanen
Collin Sexton
Kelly Olynyk
Jarred Vanderbilt
Talen Horton-Tucker
Malik Beasley

Who did I forget? It has to be someone we have at least seen play in the first 3 games or so. No need for g-league nicknames.

Ok, go!!




To kick things off, I do think Walker, Kessler Ranger is ok, goes back pretty far, so mostly for older fans, but I guess that is what JF is anyway, mostly. CANNOT STAND italian stallion for Simone. So overworn it is bordering on stupid, but not relevant enough to be ironic or hipster. Just lazy. Any other thoughts?

 

[LogGrad98]

Fontecchio, the italian assassin? Capra assassina? Simply Capra?

Simone "La Capra" Fontecchio

He kind of looks like a vampire, pretty pale, dark hair, et al. I mean just look at him:




The resemblance is uncanny.

Simone "Il Vampiro" Fontecchio

Simone "Il Mago" Fontecchio

Simone "Il Cecchino" Fontecchio



Ok, I am bored with that one.

 

[str8line]

Fontecchio- The Fonz

 

[str8line]

Vanderbuilt- V8. Or maybe Big Block.

 

[str8line]

Olynyk- Fahrvergnugen?

 

[LogGrad98]

Olynyk- Fahrvergnugen

He could replace the minivan, in this vein. Just be the VW Bus or something. v-dub.

Maybe that is better for THT. The school bus.

 

[Eddie Zero]

Ok let's get some nicknames up in here. I know a few of these have already been around the league, but we can always re-christen them here. Just no new bris, if you get my drift.

Simone Fontecchio
Walker Kessler
Lauri Markkanen
Collin Sexton
Kelly Olynyk
Jarred Vanderbilt
Talen Horton-Tucker
Malik Beasley

Who did I forget? It has to be someone we have at least seen play in the first 3 games or so. No need for g-league nicknames.

Ok, go!!




To kick things off, I do think Walker, Kessler Ranger is ok, goes back pretty far, so mostly for older fans, but I guess that is what JF is anyway, mostly. CANNOT STAND italian stallion for Simone. So overworn it is bordering on stupid, but not relevant enough to be ironic or hipster. Just lazy. Any other thoughts?

Fontalia
brohard
The Finnisher
Bullit
Sifl
Horton hears a boo
Measles

 

[Domino]

Me and my friend call THT Horton hears a who because he reminds us of the elephant from that movie.


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[slc]

Fontecchio- The Big Cannoli

 

[TheGoldStandard]

Cuz he's THT (not dynamite), THT, can't win the fight! THT, a bloated load, THT, watch him implode!

 

[TheGoldStandard]

When the ball hits the net cuz his jumper is wet that's Simone.

 

[Swuul]

The other day I was talking with my friend and didn't remember Kesslers name (I am real crap with names, I have trouble remembering the names of my kids), so I just called him "Tex". Without blinking his eyes my friend knew who I was talking about.