Infidelity

[Stoked]

My daughter is not biologically mine, but there is no possible way I could love her more even if she was my own flesh and blood.

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[PearlWatson]

The disadvantages in divorcing:
Children have to compete with the parents new "love interests" or other children that may be inherited or created.
The children have to live two separate lives, and be in the middle of perpetual rancor.
The children resort to drugs, alcohol, sex, and other misbehaviors to get attention or get back at you for making their lives miserable.

 

[Stoked]

The disadvantages in divorcing:
Children have to compete with the parents new "love interests" or other children that may be inherited or created.
The children have to live two separate lives, and be in the middle of perpetual rancor.
The children resort to drugs, alcohol, sex, and other misbehaviors to get attention or get back at you for making their lives miserable.

Those last two are not a guaranteed result. No rancor between me and my ex. CHildren can resort to drugs and all that regardless of wether their parents are divorced.

As for new children well that is not a certain thing either. There may have been new children if mom and dad had stayed together. Every case is different is my point.

 

[Gyp Rosetti]

The disadvantages in divorcing:
Children have to compete with the parents new "love interests" or other children that may be inherited or created.
The children have to live two separate lives, and be in the middle of perpetual rancor.
The children resort to drugs, alcohol, sex, and other misbehaviors to get attention or get back at you for making their lives miserable.

And I thought I made absurd assumptions.

 

[Hartsock]

And I thought I made absurd assumptions.

Wes, you are a poster boy for pearls stereotype!

 

[PearlWatson]

Those last two are not a guaranteed result. No rancor between me and my ex. CHildren can resort to drugs and all that regardless of wether their parents are divorced.

As for new children well that is not a certain thing either. There may have been new children if mom and dad had stayed together. Every case is different is my point.

Most disadvantages for divorce no matter the case remain the same.

If you live in separate houses the children live two separate lives.
If there ain't no rancor then there is no reason not to stay together for the kids.
The statistics are extremely convincing on children living with one parent being self destructive.
Way more likely to be new love interests and more children that kids have to compete with if you divorce.

 

[Stoked]

Most disadvantages for divorce no matter the case remain the same.

If you live in separate houses the children live two separate lives.
If there ain't no rancor then there is no reason not to stay together for the kids.
The statistics are extremely convincing on children living with one parent being self destructive.
Way more likely to be new love interests and more children that kids have to compete with if you divorce.

********. I am a divorced person and what you said does not apply to me, my ex or my kids.

How close do the parents live? If close there is no reason the kids have to live seperate lives. Especially once they are teens.

I have no rancor with my ex. None. Are their cases where there is rancor? Obviously but not all of them as I myself am proof of. Maybe they are not together becasue they are no longer in love. As for your statistics, provide them please. More love interests is common sense. Also you have no clue how many more kids a couple would have had had they stayed together. Especially in areas/cultures where the family size is larger.

I understand this is your opinion and that is fine. But please do not make them out to be facts unless you can provide proof of your claims.

 

[PearlWatson]

********. I am a divorced person and what you said does not apply to me, my ex or my kids.

How close do the parents live? If close there is no reason the kids have to live seperate lives. Especially once they are teens.

I have no rancor with my ex. None. Are their cases where there is rancor? Obviously but not all of them as I myself am proof of. Maybe they are not together becasue they are no longer in love. As for your statistics, provide them please. More love interests is common sense. Also you have no clue how many more kids a couple would have had had they stayed together. Especially in areas/cultures where the family size is larger.

I understand this is your opinion and that is fine. But please do not make them out to be facts unless you can provide proof of your claims.

From what you said you have a girlfriend that they have to compete with for your attention, and they are moving out of state so they live 2 different lives depending on the custody and visitation arrangement. Maybe you don't realize how difficult and painful those things are for your children.

As an advocate for kids, I think all these possible/probable effects on kids should be considered carefully. Too many parents consider their own "happiness" instead of their children's.

I may find the links for the stats later.

 

[Stoked]

From what you said you have a girlfriend that they have to compete with for your attention, and they are moving out of state so they live 2 different lives depending on the custody and visitation arrangement. Maybe you don't realize how difficult and painful those things are for your children.

As an advocate for kids, I think all these possible/probable effect on kids should be considered carefully. Too many parents consider their own "happiness" instead of their children's.

I may find the links for the stats later.

YOu can take your advocacy for children and piss off.


This is a much edited version and I'd advise you to keep your damn assumptions on anything related to my daughters to your god damn self.

 

[Nate505]

Why would it be a sham?

Well in the sense that most people consider marriage to be some exclusive thing between two people. If I were in his shoes I'd say "ok, for the sake of the kids and the lack of a hassle I'm willing to stay married to you, but I will sleep with other women and you're essentially just another roommate in the house."

Frankly, I'm willing to go the monogamous marriage route in life but an open marriage wouldn't bother me. I don't think exclusivity is very natural. However, I admit I'm in a minority there.

 

[nightmare3983]

YOu can take your advocacy for children and piss off.


This is a much edited version and I'd advise you to keep your damn assumptions on anything related to my daughters to your god damn self.

I don't doubt that at all.

 

[Nate505]

I knew before she was born that she wasn't. However I put in the work. I was there when she went to school, learned to ride a bike, swim, read. I took her to her games, doctors appointments. Babied her when she was sick. Who is to ever tell me she isn't mine?

If that is anyones opinion here then to hell with you.

Edit: I did get a DNA test just in case though and I hoped that I would be wrong.

I think biology is overrated. My adopted father raised me far more than my biological father. That being said, I'm on good terms with my biological father and it's eerie how many traits I share from a man who I never saw more than once a year and played no part whatsoever in raising me. I can naturally talk to him more about sports and we share the same comedic tastes than my adopted father. Still, when I refer to my "father" to other people it's my adopted father, and when it's to my bio father it's prefaced that way. But what's weird again is that I call my adopted father "Tom" (his name) and my biological father "Dad," but that's just because my adopted father (aka my mom's second husband) didn't take custody over until I was 10, so I just knew him as Tom, and I would see my bio father once a year or so and knew him as Dad.