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Am I wrong?

i doubt i could find a lawyer to do it pro boner. im looking into mediation trying to find a low cost option. if that doesnt work im gonna have to try and find a lawyer who will let me pay him 100$ a month for the rest of my life.
 
So what happened to the marriage? I'm assuming the marriage was pure hell because a divorce with 4 kids sounds like your life will be pure hell for awhile. Because you will still deal with her the rest of your life but you just won't get to have sex with her.

I had a buddy who got divorced with a bunch of kids. I think he regrets it. It cost him an a ton of money that will take him forever to recover from. And the worst part is he still has to deal with her almost on a daily basis. Which is now 100% fighting all the time.

If there is any way to salvage it at all I would highly consider it.
 
I'm still not sure what went wrong. Things have been wonderful for 6 years. Then one day she sits me down and says she's not happy and wants a seperation. I gave her some time and some space. Begged and pleaded for her to come back and we can try and make it work. She just doesn't care anymore. It's so much harder not knowing why all this is happening.
 
Babe is right - don't mention the boob job. Just sounds like sour grapes and as you said there is nothing you can do about it now.

As for everything else it sounds like she's going to play hardball. My cousin was in a similar situation with kids and tried mediation and it didn't work out - too many moving parts. Lawyer up.

Sorry to hear about your troubles - best of luck to you.
 
candrew said:
Babe is right - don't mention the boob job. Just sounds like sour grapes and as you said there is nothing you can do about it now.

As for everything else it sounds like she's going to play hardball. My cousin was in a similar situation with kids and tried mediation and it didn't work out - too many moving parts. Lawyer up.

Sorry to hear about your troubles - best of luck to you.
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I don't see why lawyers would necessarily lead to a better result than mediation.
They will probably end up costing you both more money. I'd give another try at getting her to recognize that and be reasonable. Other than , no special insights. It doesn't seem right for you to pay for her schooling. I assume that she is holding off on getting a job until after she gets the divorce. If she has a degree that is in demand, that could make a difference.
 
Just don't be too easy. That's a mistake too many people make. I'm saying be a prick, but just make sure you're able to feel good about the fairness of the outcome. If it feels too one-sided, fight.

This is something you'll be dealing with for many years.. don't be sorry, for years, for being weak and overly agreeable in the beginning.
 
But yea, if she has got a lawyer, you'd better at least start interviewing some. Don't put it off too long. Talk to a few before picking one. You can probably get some useful input just in the process of deciding who you want to use. They'll probably try to talk you out of mediation though, so I'd talk to a couple mediators too.
 
Obviously , I am assuming that you can talk to a lawyer to ask some general questions before (s)he starts charging you by the minute, so talk to the secretary first about how that works. (Are secretaries still called secretaries? Probably not. Assistant? Office Administrator? )
 
Chris-L said:
I'm still not sure what went wrong. Things have been wonderful for 6 years. Then one day she sits me down and says she's not happy and wants a seperation. I gave her some time and some space. Begged and pleaded for her to come back and we can try and make it work. She just doesn't care anymore. It's so much harder not knowing why all this is happening.
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That's rough I'm sorry. If I am in your position I will lawyer up and fight everything you can. From what I understand if its her that it pushing the divorce for no reason you should have a lot of sympathy on your side. As long as you were not abusing or cheating which I am sure you didn't.

I would suggest marriage counseling which I have participated in and I think is amazing....but maybe it's too late for that.
 
Offer a trade. You'll never mention the money for the boob job if she accepts the loans. I have a feeling a judge or mediator will make her pay her own student loans back, anyway, so it could just save you the hassle.
 
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