JGolds
Well-Known Member
I found it here:
https://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/64077/nba-playoffs-shootaround-uno-mas
Here it is, I love heat jokes, this is fairly believible, read it all for a good laugh:
1. Dwyane Wade enters the Miami locker room on Sunday afternoon.
2. The room is dark.
3. Pat Riley emerges fully nude, hair slicked back, holding a torch.
4. He invites Wade to take a seat in the center of the locker room.
5. From the back of the locker room, a cabal of Heat ambassadors emerges.
6. Alonzo Mourning, Rony Seikaly, Udonis Haslem, Rick Ross, and Filomena Tobias join hands with Riley in a circle around Wade.
7. They begin chanting in Aramaic, while Tobias breathes fire to light the room.
8. Six German doctors descend on Wade, poking and prodding, draining and injecting.
9. After 20 minutes, Riley motions toward the doctors with his torch. The doctors vanish into a pile of white dust.
10. Birdman the rapper enters from the showers, flocked by doves.
11. Birdman the basketball player enters from the opposite, flocked by vultures.
12. The vultures eat the doves. Haslem eats the vultures.
13. The Birdmen descend on Wade and begin rubbing their hands together.
14. The circle chants louder. Birdman the rapper dunks Wade's head into a cooler full of Moët.
15. Birdman the basketball player rubs his Mohawk on Wade's knee, horizontally, then vertically.
16. Wade removes his head from the cooler of Moët. He sees a crucifix seared into his injured knee.
17. The chants stop. Riley and The Circle of Heat disappear to the showers.
18. Ten minutes later, Riley returns alone.
19. They just sacrificed Seikaly. The ritual is almost complete.
20. Riley speaks. "This is for you, Dwyane." He hands Wade a human heart.
21. Wade eats Seikaly's heart.
22. Riley watches him, soaked in blood, still nude, and smiling like a proud parent.
23. "Your knee is fine now," he says. "Go be great."
24. Riley bursts into a plume of black smoke like Voldemort.
25. Wade stands, inhales the smoke, and walks out feeling refreshed.
It happened. You know it happened. BUT DID IT WORK?
https://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/64077/nba-playoffs-shootaround-uno-mas
Here it is, I love heat jokes, this is fairly believible, read it all for a good laugh:
1. Dwyane Wade enters the Miami locker room on Sunday afternoon.
2. The room is dark.
3. Pat Riley emerges fully nude, hair slicked back, holding a torch.
4. He invites Wade to take a seat in the center of the locker room.
5. From the back of the locker room, a cabal of Heat ambassadors emerges.
6. Alonzo Mourning, Rony Seikaly, Udonis Haslem, Rick Ross, and Filomena Tobias join hands with Riley in a circle around Wade.
7. They begin chanting in Aramaic, while Tobias breathes fire to light the room.
8. Six German doctors descend on Wade, poking and prodding, draining and injecting.
9. After 20 minutes, Riley motions toward the doctors with his torch. The doctors vanish into a pile of white dust.
10. Birdman the rapper enters from the showers, flocked by doves.
11. Birdman the basketball player enters from the opposite, flocked by vultures.
12. The vultures eat the doves. Haslem eats the vultures.
13. The Birdmen descend on Wade and begin rubbing their hands together.
14. The circle chants louder. Birdman the rapper dunks Wade's head into a cooler full of Moët.
15. Birdman the basketball player rubs his Mohawk on Wade's knee, horizontally, then vertically.
16. Wade removes his head from the cooler of Moët. He sees a crucifix seared into his injured knee.
17. The chants stop. Riley and The Circle of Heat disappear to the showers.
18. Ten minutes later, Riley returns alone.
19. They just sacrificed Seikaly. The ritual is almost complete.
20. Riley speaks. "This is for you, Dwyane." He hands Wade a human heart.
21. Wade eats Seikaly's heart.
22. Riley watches him, soaked in blood, still nude, and smiling like a proud parent.
23. "Your knee is fine now," he says. "Go be great."
24. Riley bursts into a plume of black smoke like Voldemort.
25. Wade stands, inhales the smoke, and walks out feeling refreshed.
It happened. You know it happened. BUT DID IT WORK?
