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The funny thing kids say

Couple of days ago before watching the Olympic opening ceremonies I was explaining to my 6 old what the winter olympics are. I was telling her about the winter sports, saying "skiing, sledding, snowboarding..." and she interrupted me - "I can't wait to see the snowman building competition"...
 
dodo said:
Couple of days ago before watching the Olympic opening ceremonies I was explaining to my 6 old what the winter olympics are. I was telling her about the winter sports, saying "skiing, sledding, snowboarding..." and she interrupted me - "I can't wait to see the snowman building competition"...
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Haha, I can totally see/hear that.

I might actually tune in and watch a little bit if we had a few six year old's in charge of some of the programming.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Well my 12 year old asked what a condom was. We were eating dinner and she just kind of casually asked what a condom is. My other 2 kids at home are 19 and 17, with the 19 year old preparing to go on a mission. They both said "oh you don't want to ask dad THAT question". My wife and I tried delicately to explain what a condom is, trying to be kid and dinner table friendly. About half way through she had this disgusted look on her face. Then said "wait wait wait..." handed me a bottle of mustard and asked "I thought this was a condom". We both got real quiet while my other kids just busted up laughing. My wife just kind of whispered "no, that's a condiment". The 12 year old just said "oh" then went back to eating, giving me and my wife some weird looks the rest of dinner.

I can't imagine what she thought we were doing with the mustard.
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"It's what they serve pina colada's in, dear."
 
Holy hell, my 6 year old is funny as ****. We were on a long drive and when he woke up his ears needed to pop. He said "hey, why are my ears broken? Wow, I can't even hear myself talk."

Just the other day my two year old wandered min to my bedroom while I was showering. When I got out he said "me spank you bum". He then hit my butt a few times. Then all the sudden he yells "ME SPANK YOU PEEPEE" and tried to hit that. I now lock the door at all times.
 
The same 6 year old had an issue when his foot fell asleep. When it got the pins and needles feeling he yelled out "ugh my foot is sizzling!"
 
I think I've shared this story before, it happened years ago - my youngest was about 5 and the others were 8 and 10. They were watching television and a public service announcement came on about abstinence - - very earnest young people saying that they were going to resist temptation and "just say no" to having sex. Youngest son takes it all in and announces he's never going to have sex. The oldest two (whatever their limited knowledge at that time, they knew that sex was part of having children) told him that meant he'd never have kids. You could slowly see the light bulb go off in his mind, as he asks "You mean Mom and Dad had sex?" - - then the 8 year old chimed in "Yes, three times, dummy!"
 
LogGrad98 said:
Those are some of the best conversations. We decided to go the technical route. My kids know the anatomy and how it all fits together. Just now my 12 year old think mustard is some kind of weird lubricant or something. Boy will that be eye-opening on the ole wedding night.
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I hear lots of people like mustard directly on their wiener and not just randomly on their buns.
 
bigb said:
Holy hell, my 6 year old is funny as ****. We were on a long drive and when he woke up his ears needed to pop. He said "hey, why are my ears broken? Wow, I can't even hear myself talk."

Just the other day my two year old wandered min to my bedroom while I was showering. When I got out he said "me spank you bum". He then hit my butt a few times. Then all the sudden he yells "ME SPANK YOU PEEPEE" and tried to hit that. I now lock the door at all times.
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Just wait until your 17 year old wants to spank your peepee. Then it's awkward. Right YB?
 
I still remember when my grade 5 health teacher taught me that most couples have sex for pleasure-rooted purposes, and not to have kids.

It completely baffled me (as I knew that couples would have sex to have kids), so I thought he was mistaken for the rest of the class, and I had several urges to correct him (but I never did, as I hated being that dude who corrects teachers-- still do).


It really didn't click with me until I started going through puberty myself, and realized that I had certain temptations with no desires in kids being the result.
 
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