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Jazzfanz off-season ping pong tournament-- time now set: Aug 31, 7-9 pm

fishonjazz said:
Thanks bro. I do think im a bit too emotionally involved though and it is detrimental to her development. Im getting better at backing off though and letting her do things by herself and be more independent especially since lately she has been telling me to let her do things. I hear her say "I can do it myself" quite often lately and "im a big girl, let me do it". Sometimes she even tells me to leave the room and close the door lol. She is letting me know that she needs her space.
She doesn't let me hold her near as much as she used to. She wants to read her books herself often now. She is in her big girl bed now instead of her crib and so she doesn't let me rock her to sleep anymore so i have to let her just go get in her bed on her own after book time and settle for laying on the floor next to her with a hand on her back while she falls asleep. Im sure it wont be long before I stop doing that (probably should stop now tbh).
Got tears in my eyes typing that last part lol.

I just work a ton and feel like i have so little precious time with her.
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Eh, I wouldn't worry too much about being overprotective and ditto what stoked and log said. I was like you with my first and think it's more common and natural than young parents realize.
 
LogGrad98 said:
You sound like a good dad. Don't worry too much about being too close to her. Kids are resilient, she'll push you away as much as she needs to. But it is tough watching them grow up, and fantastic and wonderful and terrifying all at once. Then, one day, they are 22 and getting married and you have to speak at the wedding and give her away. The wonderful, sad, terrifying moments just get bigger and different. But still it's all great stuff. My first baby girl has now been married for 2 year. My youngest baby girl is 17 and a senior. It's awesome to see them grow up and hurts a lot all at the same time. All you can do is love them and support them and enjoy the times you have. I envy you being at this point fish. Good on you bro.

Sorry if that was just rambling but I have too much on my heart to say about all this, it's hard to put into words.

And then, you find yourself with a 5 year old granddaughter that calls you pop-pop (all on her own, no one taught her that) and she steals your heart all over again.
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Hell, I got tears in my eyes again.
 
For the record, I have six kids and never paid a babysitter. It was family, very close friends, or no one.
Letting go is tough. This is the first year I haven’t coached my oldest boy in something. It was always baseball until this year. He stopped playing little league, and his comp team coaches are phenomenal, so I’ve had to step back. It’s been rough. Now he’s playing tackle football for the first time (been flag until now) and I’m having a hard time not interjecting myself during practices. I have to wait and ask what the coaches are saying and help from there.


Sent from my iPhone using JazzFanz mobile app
 
bigb said:
For the record, I have six kids and never paid a babysitter. It was family, very close friends, or no one.
Letting go is tough. This is the first year I haven’t coached my oldest boy in something. It was always baseball until this year. He stopped playing little league, and his comp team coaches are phenomenal, so I’ve had to step back. It’s been rough. Now he’s playing tackle football for the first time (been flag until now) and I’m having a hard time not interjecting myself during practices. I have to wait and ask what the coaches are saying and help from there.


Sent from my iPhone using JazzFanz mobile app
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You just drained the last remaining drop of testosterone from what was a competitive ping pong thread.
 
bigb said:
For the record, I have six kids and never paid a babysitter.

Sent from my iPhone using JazzFanz mobile app
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You stiffed all of those babysitters and you are proud of it? Shame on you! ;-)

My experiences with my daughters were very much like Fish is describing. There is nothing I have ever loved more than being a dad. Then one day my former wife set fire to all of that, and then she dropped bombs on everything for good measure, even calling an Amber Alert on me when she knew I was actually coaching my daughter's soccer team. She poisoned my daughters (especially the oldest) against me for years. I went from reading stories to my girls every night to living alone in a dingy apartment in the blink of an eye. It was pure hell. Worse than I could ever put into words.

The amazing thing is that somehow, after some dark times, all the pieces have been reassembled in a more wonderful way than ever before. My mom promised me they would, as she lay dying. And she was right. Another good friend said to me, "Something amazing must be coming your way because these things tend to even out, and it's obviously going to take something incredible to make up for what you're going through right now." I thought he was crazy, but I now know better.

Today I have a life that's better in every way (except for full custody of my daughters and the loss of both of my parents) than I could ever even have dreamed of before. My relationship with my oldest is good again, and my relationships with the younger two are wonderful. And now, through some miracle, I also have four boys, two successful businesses (one of which I rescued from the ashes of my first marriage), and an absolutely amazing wife and life. It is a miracle.

And I read this thread because I love to play ping pong. I'm pretty good, but way too busy and I live too far away for the tourney. Have fun!
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
I went from reading stories to my girls every night to living alone in a dingy apartment in the blink of an eye. It was pure hell. Worse than I could ever put into words.
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This terrifies me.
I'm really glad it worked out for you in the end bro
 
fishonjazz said:
This terrifies me.
I'm really glad it worked out for you in the end bro
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The best way to prevent it from happening to you is to constantly be working on your marriage because the optimal solution is to not get divorced. The repercussions are huge and, as far as I can tell, they go on forever. But if your wife has an affair and mentally checks out of your marriage the way mine did I have bad news. The court system is super slanted in favor of the "primary care provider" (which is usually the mother). All of my friends and relatives, and every neighbor except for the creep my ex was sleeping with, told me that I ought to get custody of my daughters, but my lawyer informed me that unless I could prove the mother had a serious drug addiction or criminal record etc., that I should accept the fact that she was going to get primary custody of the children, child support, possession of the house, and the dog. And once we finally faced the judge, despite all of my evidence (99% of which the courts couldn't care less about because of "No Fault" laws) that is exactly what happened.

But yeah, my life is pretty wonderful now, except when I think about not being able to see my girls for the next several days because they are on a trip with my ex and my creepy former neighbor who is now their step dad. That part really sucks.
 
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fishonjazz said:
Thanks bro. I do think im a bit too emotionally involved though and it is detrimental to her development. Im getting better at backing off though and letting her do things by herself and be more independent especially since lately she has been telling me to let her do things. I hear her say "I can do it myself" quite often lately and "im a big girl, let me do it". Sometimes she even tells me to leave the room and close the door lol. She is letting me know that she needs her space.
She doesn't let me hold her near as much as she used to. She wants to read her books herself often now. She is in her big girl bed now instead of her crib and so she doesn't let me rock her to sleep anymore so i have to let her just go get in her bed on her own after book time and settle for laying on the floor next to her with a hand on her back while she falls asleep. Im sure it wont be long before I stop doing that (probably should stop now tbh).
Got tears in my eyes typing that last part lol.

I just work a ton and feel like i have so little precious time with her.
Click to expand...
My youngest daughter got married a week and a half ago. Enjoy it while you can!
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
You stiffed all of those babysitters and you are proud of it? Shame on you! ;-)

My experiences with my daughters were very much like Fish is describing. There is nothing I have ever loved more than being a dad. Then one day my former wife set fire to all of that, and then she dropped bombs on everything for good measure, even calling an Amber Alert on me when she knew I was actually coaching my daughter's soccer team. She poisoned my daughters (especially the oldest) against me for years. I went from reading stories to my girls every night to living alone in a dingy apartment in the blink of an eye. It was pure hell. Worse than I could ever put into words.

The amazing thing is that somehow, after some dark times, all the pieces have been reassembled in a more wonderful way than ever before. My mom promised me they would, as she lay dying. And she was right. Another good friend said to me, "Something amazing must be coming your way because these things tend to even out, and it's obviously going to take something incredible to make up for what you're going through right now." I thought he was crazy, but I now know better.

Today I have a life that's better in every way (except for full custody of my daughters and the loss of both of my parents) than I could ever even have dreamed of before. My relationship with my oldest is good again, and my relationships with the younger two are wonderful. And now, through some miracle, I also have four boys, two successful businesses (one of which I rescued from the ashes of my first marriage), and an absolutely amazing wife and life. It is a miracle.

And I read this thread because I love to play ping pong. I'm pretty good, but way too busy and I live too far away for the tourney. Have fun!
Click to expand...
POTY candidate. Made me tear up. Glad life is going well now.
 
Joe Bagadonuts said:
You stiffed all of those babysitters and you are proud of it? Shame on you! ;-)

My experiences with my daughters were very much like Fish is describing. There is nothing I have ever loved more than being a dad. Then one day my former wife set fire to all of that, and then she dropped bombs on everything for good measure, even calling an Amber Alert on me when she knew I was actually coaching my daughter's soccer team. She poisoned my daughters (especially the oldest) against me for years. I went from reading stories to my girls every night to living alone in a dingy apartment in the blink of an eye. It was pure hell. Worse than I could ever put into words.

The amazing thing is that somehow, after some dark times, all the pieces have been reassembled in a more wonderful way than ever before. My mom promised me they would, as she lay dying. And she was right. Another good friend said to me, "Something amazing must be coming your way because these things tend to even out, and it's obviously going to take something incredible to make up for what you're going through right now." I thought he was crazy, but I now know better.

Today I have a life that's better in every way (except for full custody of my daughters and the loss of both of my parents) than I could ever even have dreamed of before. My relationship with my oldest is good again, and my relationships with the younger two are wonderful. And now, through some miracle, I also have four boys, two successful businesses (one of which I rescued from the ashes of my first marriage), and an absolutely amazing wife and life. It is a miracle.

And I read this thread because I love to play ping pong. I'm pretty good, but way too busy and I live too far away for the tourney. Have fun!
Click to expand...

God, I relate to this. I didn’t get an amber alert. I got a false restraining order I had to fight in court. Lost my kids, my home, my cars, my dogs, even some extended family. Transferred in my job to a town I’ve never lived in over 200 miles away just to be near my youngest kids. While she moved in, and married, the man she destroyed two families for (he was married as well). Even down to the dingy, sad apartment. Last 18 months have been hell.

I’m happy you made it through to the other end. It gives me hope that I will too
 
Stoked said:
God, I relate to this. I didn’t get an amber alert. I got a false restraining order I had to fight in court. Lost my kids, my home, my cars, my dogs, even some extended family. Transferred in my job to a town I’ve never lived in over 200 miles away just to be near my youngest kids. While she moved in, and married, the man she destroyed two families for (he was married as well). Even down to the dingy, sad apartment. Last 18 months have been hell.

I’m happy you made it through to the other end. It gives me hope that I will too
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I wish I was surprised at the similarity of our experiences. Unfortunately I have learned that this sort of a situation is becoming all too common.
 
Bump. Not too late to join in! Just PM me for details if you can make Sat Aug 31, 7-9 pm.
 
Congrats to @Safetydan for coming in second in the tournament! I guess @Jason will hook him up with a prize of some sort.

We unfortunately had several cancelations, but those who came had a good time. It was fun getting to meet several of you!
 
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May have benefitted from keeping this thread updated and on the first page. I forgot it was happening tonight.

Jazzfanzerz have by a large margin been my most reliable guests for poker games. Workmates have consistently been the very worst. People have their lives and their social anxieties and everything else, so I don't really blame people for dropping out, but when organizing this stuff it is frustrating.

Glad to hear that the people who showed up had a good time.

I hope this is the first one and not the last!
 
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