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Best Way to contact Karl Malone?

I'm surprised that there has been no mention of 13 year old Mexican girls yet... or 13 year olds in general.
 
If it's for anything regarding "Dancing with the Stars" or as a guest judge on "American Idol", I'll tell you again like I've told your people before... I'm not at liberty to divulge Karl's personal information at this time. As Karl's assistant, I would also like to mention that I'm getting a little sick and tired of you big city people clogging up my cell phones and whatnot.

Karl currently has a busy schedule of 'rastlin' gators and other large wildlife in Louisiana while eating many buckets of Popeye's chicken and does not wish to be disturbed, especially during mating season... the females get a little extra aggressive during that time and Karl likes it when they fight back more.

Thank you,
Sorry...no true Louisiana native eat's Popeyes chicken. That's like Mexicans choosing to to to Taco Bell for authentic Mexican cuisine.
 
Create a Facebook account and pretend you're a 13 year-old girl. He'll contact you soon enough.
 
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