Divorce

[countonbuckets]

I Went Through A Divorce And Would Strongly Advise Against Doing It Without A Lawyer. I Read Money Is Tight But Perhaps You Can Network With Your Friends Or Acquaintances To Find A Lawyer Who Would Do It Pro Bono. If Things Are Relatively Amicable Now And You Both Are In Agreement On The Meat And Potatoes As They Were Then It Would Be Quick Work For The Lawyer.

I Did Not Have Four Kids At The Time Of My Divorce And With Them In The Picture I'd Imagine Having A Lawyer Is Even More Of A Necessity. I Do Not Know You're Situation So Maybe She Doesn't Want The Kids Or You Don't. Or Whatever.

In Terms Of Your Personal Well Being It Sounds Like You Are At The Realization A Marriage With Her Is No Longer Conducive To Your Happiness. So The Sooner You End It The Better. Counseling Is A Load Of Crap And Just Tries To Put A Band-Aid On A Wound That Needs Stitches. I Went Through A Wide Range Of Emotions During The Process And Afterwards, As Well As A Few Of What I Had Previous Thought Were Fabled Mid-Life Crisis'. Feel Free To E-Mail Me And We Can Speak More Candidly.

I Was The Only Bread-Winner In Our Family To And Had Two Children With My First Wife. We No Longer Speak But I Still Have A Great Relationship With My Two Children By Her Womb. Best Of Luck.

 

[UGLI baby]

My thinking is that you should have a sit down with an expert on this (lawyer or whoever) apart from your wife to figure out the important things you need to do to protect yourself and the kids. Then, work it out with your wife without the presence of an attorney or mediator (unless its someone literally there to do paperwork only).

Maybe I'm overthinking it, but if youre the stable party, you should try and get every right you can, then you can decide to give her more than whats agreed upon down the road (just like someone else said earlier)

So basically I'm saying, find out from an expert (away from your wife) what the most important things to get her to agree to are, then you and your wife meet alone in a non formal setting, then when you have goten her to agree to the most you can, have her sign something.

The only reason I see having a mediator present being a possible negative, is that they will most likely just do what is the most fair for both parties in a vacuum, but wont have the ability to give the more fit parent the better end of the deal, unless I'm under estimating the mediators.