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End of life care

When my Dad died, I took a couple of weeks off beforehand to go down and be with/care for him. It was important, but really, really hard. The last day, he was experiencing terminal agitation, so the hospice nurse came over at, like, 1 am to help get his meds where he wasn't disturbed, I finally got to bed around 7am, woke up at 9 am for last rites, stayed up most of the day, finally went to sleep about 8 or 9 pm, then got back up just an hour or so later when the time was coming, I got to be there at the very end, but the rictus has been pretty hard to shake.

But the hospice care was fantastic, couldn't have made it through without them.
 
Sorry if this is insensitive but I kind of hope the laws will be different when I'm at this point and I will be able to request that I be euthanized.

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fishonjazz said:
Sorry if this is insensitive but I kind of hope the laws will be different when I'm at this point and I will be able to request that I be euthanized.

Sent from my CPH2451 using Tapatalk
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I live in Oregon. We were the first state to enact a death-with-dignity act, permitting physician assisted suicide. When someone does that, they actually put the underlying disease (brain cancer, for example) on the death certificate. If you want a good, powerful, moving documentary about it, hunt down How To Die In Oregon. It's a couple decades old, but still really strong. It's available free on Tubi and Vudu, or you can pay someone like Apple or Amazon.
 
Heartfelt prayers for you and your family. Part of life and transition, but so hope that those around you will be a mensch.
Suggest you get recommendations for your Home Health and Hospice company, reading reviews for your area. Some are fantastic and focus on care, unfortunately some seem to focus on getting the contract and are less responsive. Change if they're not responsive. You can change companies very easily.
If you happen to be in Calif, check out CalAIM. Program pays a small amount for family caring for family members.
Know there are those around to help
 
gandalfe said:
I live in Oregon. We were the first state to enact a death-with-dignity act, permitting physician assisted suicide. When someone does that, they actually put the underlying disease (brain cancer, for example) on the death certificate. If you want a good, powerful, moving documentary about it, hunt down How To Die In Oregon. It's a couple decades old, but still really strong. It's available free on Tubi and Vudu, or you can pay someone like Apple or Amazon.
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tubitv.com

How to Die in Oregon (2011)

This documentary explores Oregon's controversial Death with Dignity Act, which legalizes physician-assisted death for those who are terminally ill.
tubitv.com tubitv.com

Wow. Watching the first 4:30 minutes was insane.
 
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gandalfe said:
I live in Oregon. We were the first state to enact a death-with-dignity act, permitting physician assisted suicide. When someone does that, they actually put the underlying disease (brain cancer, for example) on the death certificate. If you want a good, powerful, moving documentary about it, hunt down How To Die In Oregon. It's a couple decades old, but still really strong. It's available free on Tubi and Vudu, or you can pay someone like Apple or Amazon.
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We have assisted dying here, the criteria is fairly strict and I'm not sure my mum actually meets the criteria but if she refuses treatment the doctors have made its clear they'll make her comfortable. Mums pretty much at the point where shes had enough I've asked her to try rehab and maybe try care to see how she goes but I can only really ask so much of her, its unfair for me to ask her to go on in pain because I don't want to be alone.
 
mate just saw this .. so sorry to hear. Best wishes for you and your Mum, I can only wish that's she's as comfortable as can be through this last stage. LIke the dude said above feel free to DM if you need to talk, vent etc.
 
My mum passed away this morning, she hung on for so long for my dad, she tried to hang on for me but couldn't. I've been raised and stood on the shoulders of much better people than myself, I've been privileged to have them. Even as a non believer I hope my mum is somewhere with my dad and they are together as they have always been.
 
Rubashov said:
My mum passed away this morning, she hung on for so long for my dad, she tried to hang on for me but couldn't. I've been raised and stood on the shoulders of much better people than myself, I've been privileged to have them. Even as a non believer I hope my mum is somewhere with my dad and they are together as they have always been.
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I'm sorry for your loss.
 
Rubashov said:
My mum passed away this morning, she hung on for so long for my dad, she tried to hang on for me but couldn't. I've been raised and stood on the shoulders of much better people than myself, I've been privileged to have them. Even as a non believer I hope my mum is somewhere with my dad and they are together as they have always been.
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So sorry to hear that. I understand your sentiment here. I feel the same way about my parents. My dad has always been my best friend, my mom is such a good person and the ultimate Grandma. They live and do everything and anything for their family. I hope you find peace in knowing she isn't hurting anymore. Wish I could be there and take you out for a pint my friend. Take care.
 
I’m so sorry for your loss, my friend. I have only lived that through my wife, when her died dad suddenly died a couple years ago.
My dad has quite literally taught me virtually everything I know. He coached me in baseball for several years. I apprenticed under him and then worked for him for several years until he decided to “retire”. We still help each other out on jobs when needed. Losing him may break me. According to his doctor, he’s in beyond amazing condition for a 70 year old. My mom on the other hand has dealt with pretty ****** health since before COVID. She has had it rough.
 
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