What's new
By:

I have no self awareness

BabyPeterzz said:
Listen, think, and pay attention. Self absorption is often the cause of my lack of self awareness. Think about what you're about to say before you say it, listen to others without thinking of your response first. It's exhausting and you won't get much in return, but others will appreciate it, even if they don't say anything.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

That seems to be the standard advice. I don't really know how to get from point a to b and wonder if anyone has any tricks to make it more natural when/if they catch themselves being a bit less aware. I am a good listener but do get distracted when trying to think of how to respond instead of being natural. I was extremely shy as a kid (as shy as you'll ever meet) so I've trained my brain to act a certain way and now I want to untrain it.
 
franklin said:
That seems to be the standard advice. I don't really know how to get from point a to b and wonder if anyone has any tricks to make it more natural when/if they catch themselves being a bit less aware. I am a good listener but do get distracted when trying to think of how to respond instead of being natural. I was extremely shy as a kid (as shy as you'll ever meet) so I've trained my brain to act a certain way and now I want to untrain it.
Click to expand...

I would suggest taking a break from volunteered speech. If someone asks you a question answer it. If someone asks for your opinion give it(annotated). Otherwise just listen. Don't think about what you're going to say. Think about what they are saying.
 
franklin said:
That seems to be the standard advice. I don't really know how to get from point a to b and wonder if anyone has any tricks to make it more natural when/if they catch themselves being a bit less aware. I am a good listener but do get distracted when trying to think of how to respond instead of being natural. I was extremely shy as a kid (as shy as you'll ever meet) so I've trained my brain to act a certain way and now I want to untrain it.
Click to expand...

Just do it?

"Playing a role" actually helps me a lot. Pretending to be a part of everything else... trying to be something I'm not seems to land me in pretty decent circumstances. I pretend to be good with people when I'm around them. I pretend to be interested in things normal people are interested in. In reality, I just want to hide behind my front door and forget anyone else exists.

Seems to be working out pretty ok for me.
 
franklin said:
That seems to be the standard advice. I don't really know how to get from point a to b and wonder if anyone has any tricks to make it more natural when/if they catch themselves being a bit less aware. I am a good listener but do get distracted when trying to think of how to respond instead of being natural. I was extremely shy as a kid (as shy as you'll ever meet) so I've trained my brain to act a certain way and now I want to untrain it.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure there's a sure fire trick here. All you can really do is try to recognize it and respond. When I catch myself formulating a response while someone is talking, I'll stop them and ask them to start over. Speak with intent and say what you mean. I also make sure to take a sec before responding to make sure what I'm about to say is meaningful to them and not just trying to get my point across. A lot of times people tell you things in order to get a response they want, you're not always going to give them that. But considering their feelings and telling them what you think along with what they need to hear in order to help them processes it helps. Again, just practice listening intently and respond intently. Asking questions is also a great way to become more aware, it gives you time to really assess what you're being told.

Make your words matter. Using them as a way to impose your opinions or beliefs on others usually gets you nowhere. I suck at this, but I try everyday, especially with my wife.
 
BabyPeterzz said:
I'm not sure there's a sure fire trick here. All you can really do is try to recognize it and respond. When I catch myself formulating a response while someone is talking, I'll stop them and ask them to start over. Speak with intent and say what you mean. I also make sure to take a sec before responding to make sure what I'm about to say is meaningful to them and not just trying to get my point across. A lot of times people tell you things in order to get a response they want, you're not always going to give them that. But considering their feelings and telling them what you think along with what they need to hear in order to help them processes it helps. Again, just practice listening intently and respond intently. Asking questions is also a great way to become more aware, it gives you time to really assess what you're being told.

Make your words matter. Using them as a way to impose your opinions or beliefs on others usually gets you nowhere. I suck at this, but I try everyday, especially with my wife.
Click to expand...

The correct way to communicate with your wife

Wife: Hi hunny.
You: Hey
Wife: Blah blah blah
You: That's nice. Make me a sandwich.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Share this page
Back
Top