fallenchicken
Well-Known Member
I would get out my gun!
Infidelity
- Thread starter candrew
- Start date
No doubt about it. I don't think I could do it.
That raises a great point. I'm not going to look for evidence on this, but there seems to be a perception that women get preferential treatment in child custody cases. At least I have that perception.
I know that in Utah, the laws are written to specifically benefit the mom. Dads usually get screwed.
Chad Feldheimer
Well-Known Member
For background, my wife told me about an affair she was having. This was 9 years ago or so. We are still together, still quite happy.
The marriage does not need to be toxic. However, now that this is open, your brother and his wife need to ask deep questions of themselves and each other.
Is his wife really suited to monogamy (many humans are not)? If not, can he accept this? If yes, what did she gain from this relationship that her husband could provide instead?
How important is exclusive genital access to the marriage? Is it more important any shared dreams or goals? Or, have the other dreams and goals changed, and sex became the last bit of commonality?
What will the rules be for future temptations? Will they be allowed to ask each other if they found a particular person attractive? Will they agree to answer such questions honestly, and keep to that agreement? Can they do it without jealousy or recrimination?
The marriage does not need to be toxic. However, now that this is open, your brother and his wife need to ask deep questions of themselves and each other.
Is his wife really suited to monogamy (many humans are not)? If not, can he accept this? If yes, what did she gain from this relationship that her husband could provide instead?
How important is exclusive genital access to the marriage? Is it more important any shared dreams or goals? Or, have the other dreams and goals changed, and sex became the last bit of commonality?
What will the rules be for future temptations? Will they be allowed to ask each other if they found a particular person attractive? Will they agree to answer such questions honestly, and keep to that agreement? Can they do it without jealousy or recrimination?
leftyjace
Well-Known Member
I do believe One Brow just implied that he and his wife are now swingers.
PearlWatson
Well-Known Member
that's what I got from it
That's a curious implication to make.
The situation isn't funny, but this post definitely was!
It's part of the price we pay for maintaining the patriarchy. Overall, men benefit to a much greater degree.
I also know a couple that is much stronger because of a cheating situation. But it was a one time while drunk and really depressed situation. They finally talked to each other and figured out the issues, fixed them and learned to grow from it. He didn't even know they were having issues cause she just kept it all inside. They also had a kid and he was the main reason they worked on it. He thought for sure he was going to leave her, but just couldn't. He said you never know how you will react until it happens to you.
Personally I understand that, but the fact that this happened over the course of 4 years says more to me. I don't think I could stay if it was over 4 years as opposed to the one time thing. But like I said, you never know how you will react.