LogGrad98 forces Boeing 747 to land just 10 minutes into the flight....wow!
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A British Airways flight was forced to turn around and land over the weekend because somebody did a **** so bad the plane was essentially rendered useless. Imagine living your life in the knowledge that you once turded so appallingly that a 747-400 had to turn around and land. Your liquid **** bought a £360-million ($533-million) airplane juddering out of the sky. Imagine looking your loved ones in the face after that. Imagine hugging your mom. You couldn't. Your ******* is essentially a terrorist.
Anyway, the BA flight from Heathrow to Dubai on Saturday had to turn around and flop back down again at Heathrow just 30 minutes into the seven-hour flight because somebody did a toilet crime.
Hertsmere Tory councillor Abhishek Sachdev—who has clearly not heard the "he who smelt it, dealt it" directive—happened to be on the flight, and, as well as tweeting his response ("Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways") also spoke to the Daily Mail about the ordeal. Again: imagine making a smell so bad a Tory councillor talks to a national paper about it.
"The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd," he said. "About 10 minutes later he said, 'You may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.'
"He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."
Two things:
i. The informed knowledge of the liquid state of the turd in question sort of suggests the pilot actually went and looked at the mess himself, and, in which case, did he hold his special pilot's hat over his nose?
ii. This question always comes up when someone does a **** so appalling that it might as well not be human. We've all seen a bad ****. We've all been to a pub. We've all traveled on a bus at least once in our lives. Everybody in Britain, at some point, has had to piss at a train station. We've all lifted a toilet seat and, like Pandora's Box, stared into the abyss-like doom of someone else's medically inadvisable droppings. But the question is this: how, and more specifically why, is it possible to **** up and around the rim of a toilet and, side-question, how does one **** up a wall?
Ask me to **** up a wall and I would not know where to start. If I was trying, I do not think I could **** along a vertical pane. But there are people out there who seem to manage it on the regular. Do they go to the doctor immediately after? When you "deposit" something so forcefully that it ricochets right back out again, do you go straight to A&E and say, like, "Hello, doctor, something is very wrong with me," or do you, like, try and walk it off? Also, why does this always happen in public toilets?
Anyway, the flight was rescheduled for the next day, and British Airways made a statement saying, "We're very sorry for the discomfort to our customers," before providing everyone on the flight—including the rogue ****ter, presumably, whoever they may be—with overnight hotel accommodation.
Safe travels, rogue ****ter. Peace be with your lower intestine.
Anyway, the BA flight from Heathrow to Dubai on Saturday had to turn around and flop back down again at Heathrow just 30 minutes into the seven-hour flight because somebody did a toilet crime.
Hertsmere Tory councillor Abhishek Sachdev—who has clearly not heard the "he who smelt it, dealt it" directive—happened to be on the flight, and, as well as tweeting his response ("Insane! Our BA flight to Dubai returned back to Heathrow because of a smelly poo in the toilet! 15hrs until next flight... #britishairways") also spoke to the Daily Mail about the ordeal. Again: imagine making a smell so bad a Tory councillor talks to a national paper about it.
"The pilot made an announcement requesting senior cabin crew, and we knew something was a bit odd," he said. "About 10 minutes later he said, 'You may have noticed there's a quite pungent smell coming from one of the toilets.'
"He said it was liquid fecal excrement. Those are the words he used."
Two things:
i. The informed knowledge of the liquid state of the turd in question sort of suggests the pilot actually went and looked at the mess himself, and, in which case, did he hold his special pilot's hat over his nose?
ii. This question always comes up when someone does a **** so appalling that it might as well not be human. We've all seen a bad ****. We've all been to a pub. We've all traveled on a bus at least once in our lives. Everybody in Britain, at some point, has had to piss at a train station. We've all lifted a toilet seat and, like Pandora's Box, stared into the abyss-like doom of someone else's medically inadvisable droppings. But the question is this: how, and more specifically why, is it possible to **** up and around the rim of a toilet and, side-question, how does one **** up a wall?
Ask me to **** up a wall and I would not know where to start. If I was trying, I do not think I could **** along a vertical pane. But there are people out there who seem to manage it on the regular. Do they go to the doctor immediately after? When you "deposit" something so forcefully that it ricochets right back out again, do you go straight to A&E and say, like, "Hello, doctor, something is very wrong with me," or do you, like, try and walk it off? Also, why does this always happen in public toilets?
Anyway, the flight was rescheduled for the next day, and British Airways made a statement saying, "We're very sorry for the discomfort to our customers," before providing everyone on the flight—including the rogue ****ter, presumably, whoever they may be—with overnight hotel accommodation.
Safe travels, rogue ****ter. Peace be with your lower intestine.
LogGrad98
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Yeah that could have been me. Since I have been to Germany, I cleared out almost an entire street car section. I am not kidding, people got out and got in another section of the train. A few people didn't so I am sure no one really knew who it was. It was hilarious.
I once had an I.D. while I was float tubing at Sand Hollow. Barely made it to the portopotty w/out crapping myself. Was in such a hurry to get my waders off/down that the liquid fecal matter started coming before I got my pants down to my knees. I flopped down on the tiny little seat only to realize (too late) that at least half of my man-hole was actually resting on the edge of the seat. You can imagine the mess. And the smell.
I walked out and straight into the water, up to my neck, fully dressed. That was the fastest, grossest, coldest bath I've ever had. The portopotty looked like someone had murdered a mud hole.
I walked out and straight into the water, up to my neck, fully dressed. That was the fastest, grossest, coldest bath I've ever had. The portopotty looked like someone had murdered a mud hole.
LogGrad98
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At a scout outing we saw a kid fall into an outhouse. It was missing the toilet seat and he was a tiny kid. Apparently he went in under some kind of duress and jumped up there and just went plop right through. We heard him yelling and got a leader over there. He pulled him out and that poor kid was brown head to toe. It was horrible. And funny as hell. He looked like a walking fudgecicle.