More death threats -- Woman take video of her walk through New York

[One Brow]

Oh gawd...

anybody interested in a female's perspective on this?

Very much so, and thank you for joining in. I will not pretend that the video is some sort of objective documentary. It was made with a particular point of view in mind, I agree.

Would yo be willing to talk about your own experience with harassment?

 

[framer]

Considering the extremely low hit ratio when approaching a woman who has signaled no interest initially, there are better uses of your time if you are really trying to have sex with someone.

You would think that, but I had a roommate who had a goal to hit on and ask out a girl every day. It was an extremely successful tactic. He would approach literally every attractive girl he saw no matter where he was. Most would say no, but many said yes and he spent every minute when he was not studying with women. He wasn't anything special either, he had just developed a high tolerance to rejection and used that to his ultimate advantage. He called it "playin' the odds." 15% of 100 is better than 100% of 4. I would suspect that many in the men in the video have found the same.

 

[Stoked]

In a related bit of personal experience I have never seen women objectified and cat called the way I did in Honduras. A pretty girl (even as young as 12 in some cases) could barely even walk down the street without being stopped and often cases gropped repeatedly.

 

[moevillini]

oh, and nice to see GPRO is up almost 13% today!

 

[One Brow]

You would think that, but I had a roommate who had a goal to hit on and ask out a girl every day. It was an extremely successful tactic. He would approach literally every attractive girl he saw no matter where he was. Most would say no, but many said yes and he spent every minute when he was not studying with women. He wasn't anything special either, he had just developed a high tolerance to rejection and used that to his ultimate advantage. He called it "playin' the odds." 15% of 100 is better than 100% of 4. I would suspect that many in the men in the video have found the same.

I disagree with your math, first of all. For one thing, it leaves out the effect on the women. Ethical people take into account how their actions are affecting others.

So, when I started thinking about how men treated women's bodies as object of amusement, he sprung to mind as a positive example of that point of view?

 

[fishonjazz]

OK, you don't have to answer the question. I already know the answer anyway.

I have been to gay bars (I was very good friends with a lesbian couple that I worked with and would go with them) and got hit on by guys often and I'm not gonna lie, it was flattering.
I simply told then that I'm not attracted to men, they say something like too bad, or don't knock it till you try it, we both laugh and it's all good.


I'm not easily offended though so I don't know what's it's like to let stuff offend me easily. So I can't really put myself in her shoes

 

[candrew]

and it looks like she was passing through predominantly black or ethnic neighborhoods though much of her walk. Could some degree of cultural difference have been at work as well? I didn't see much of her walking in the financial district or mid-town.

That's the frickin irony of this entire thread that I thought I pointed out last night. Essentially you got some bourgeois white folks looking for a handout who purposely made a video of black and Hispanic men acting like pigs towards a white woman and their biggest defender is One Brow.

What is the world coming to?

 

[fishonjazz]

If it happened every day, many times a day, I'm sure even you would get tired of it.

You might be right about that. Never been in that situation so I don't know how it feels

 

[fishonjazz]

So, it's the victim's fault for not being strong or tough enough?

I didn't day that.
I was asked a specific question about the women in my family.

 

[moevillini]

Very much so, and thank you for joining in. I will not pretend that the video is some sort of objective documentary. It was made with a particular point of view in mind, I agree.

Would yo be willing to talk about your own experience with harassment?

after we drive the price of GPRO up another 12%


don't really have time right now to go into detail since I could but in general, I'd say I really don't consider it a big problem - - and it's not because it's never happened, though I admit that as I've gotten older (I think I'm now what the French call "une femme d'une certaine âge") it's not happening as often as it once did...

Do I miss it?

No, not really. Did it ever bother me? No, not really.
Occasionally there'd be some guy who was overly persistent or creepy or something, but that wasn't often.


The guys who seem to demand a response are definitely out of line. That happened once or twice in the video, and that does happen on occasion.

But most times it's just a friendly "hello, beautiful" or something like that, and no further follow-up comment. Perhaps this is bad behavior on my part, but I'll sometimes give a nod to acknowledge the person. In most cases with this type of comment, I don't interpret is as some guy trying to "hit-on" me at all, just a passing greeting.

I think women who interpret every "Hello, beautiful" as a guy trying to make a pass at them may have a self-esteem problem.

Also, it does take some effort to walk down the street and not make any eye-contact at all with other passersby. That may change the dynamics of the interaction.

by the way, here's a link to an article about the phrase "women of a certain age"
https://www.nytimes.com/1995/07/02/magazine/in-language-a-woman-of-a-certain-age.html

 

[LogGrad98]

I hope this was on purpose, cause I literally lol'd.

As for the rest of your post, the fact that she ran into even one dude that should've been MACED is a BFD. How often do you have run ins with people that should be maced because they are harassing you? Obviously often enough that it's not that big a deal, right?

Actually I am a manager of a fairly large group of employees (200+) and have been for the better part of 20 years. I have had death threats and had punches thrown at me by low lifes that cannot figure out that if you pinch someone's *** (not always a female *** either) in the workplace you will get fired for it, or even that you simply need to show up to work to get a paycheck. I fully understand harassment and it makes me wonder if most people in this thread really understand it at all. One thing that is most critical to this discussion, that no one has spoken to, is that harassment is in the eye of the beholder. What one person may perceive as harassment another may consider flattery.

No one can look at a single behavior, short of course of grabbing *** or the like, and say unequivocally that it is harassment without question.

The whole premise of the video becomes ******** in that light. Also in the light of the fact that this woman acted anything BUT normal. Why do you think that guy followed her for 5 minutes, almost the entire time looking directly at the CAMERA and never saying a word? He was mocking her false aloofness, not hitting on her. If she perceived that as harassing then to her it was. Another may not perceive it that way. I perceived it as irritating, but no harassing. None of these things are as cut and dried as the entire PC crowd, who obviously have never dealt with real people in circumstances involving harassment, would have you believe.

Is harassment in general a problem that needs to be addressed in our society? Without a doubt. Is every instance of a man mis-reading "signals" (sorry OB most men are not mind-readers....we can't tell what our wives of many years want us to do based on hints and signals, let alone strangers) and hitting on a woman instantly harassment worthy of castrating said individual? **** no.



edit: and yes I did that whole "do you even english" and "you don't reading comprehension" thing on purpose. I read it once somewhere and it made me laugh.

 

[fishonjazz]

The real tragedy here is that one of those men might have been the man of her dreams/soulmate but she will never know because she would never give any of them a chance.

Love lost. Sad stuff guys

 

[One Brow]

That's the frickin irony of this entire thread that I thought I pointed out last night. Essentially you got some bourgeois white folks looking for a handout who purposely made a video of black and Hispanic men acting like pigs towards a white woman and their biggest defender is One Brow.

What is the world coming to?

I'm confused as to why you think this post is a defense:

https://jazzfanz.com/showthread.php...rough-New-York&p=925725&viewfull=1#post925725

Here's a link with more:

https://freethoughtblogs.com/butter...deo-also-unintentionally-makes-another-point/

So, why do you think I am defending anyone?

 

[One Brow]

Is every instance of a man mis-reading "signals" (sorry OB most men are not mind-readers....we can't tell what our wives of many years want us to do based on hints and signals, let alone strangers) and hitting on a woman instantly harassment worthy of castrating said individual? **** no.

I don't think I've argued for more than at least attempting to read signals, and certainly don't think there will be perfection. Why do you think I would expect such?

 

[One Brow]

The real tragedy here is that one of those men might have been the man of her dreams/soulmate but she will never know because she would never give any of them a chance.

Love lost. Sad stuff guys

Perhaps coming up to someone out of the blue like that is already a disqualifier on the whole "soulmate" issue. The real tragedy is that the men don't really care about that.

 

[LogGrad98]

I don't think I've argued for more than at least attempting to read signals, and certainly don't think there will be perfection. Why do you think I would expect such?

You were pretty dismissive of the examples in the video without qualifying anything. Qualitatively there are some pretty big differences in their responses so it was not unreasonable at all to infer that you were expecting that of everyone involved. Watch it again and see if you want to adjust your opinion based on the type of interaction.

 

[fishonjazz]

The real tragedy is that the men don't really care about that.

Sounds like a generalization.

Some the men that simply said hello and hell maybe even some of the ones that were not classy might have been great guys that are looking for a relationship for life. Im not going to judge who they are or what they want based off 5 seconds of edited video

 

[One Brow]

You were pretty dismissive of the examples in the video without qualifying anything. Qualitatively there are some pretty big differences in their responses so it was not unreasonable at all to infer that you were expecting that of everyone involved. Watch it again and see if you want to adjust your opinion based on the type of interaction.

In this video, I missed that there was any interaction (action conducted by two or more people) at all. I saw a lot of actions being taken by men, but no response being given. I may have missed something. What time stamps had interactions?

So, I am saying the types of unilateral actions beingtaken in this video are inappropriate, but that doesn't mean I'm against interactions.

 

[One Brow]

Some the men that simply said hello and hell maybe even some of the ones that were not classy might have been great guys that are looking for a relationship for life.

If you care so little that you think interrupting another person, unsolicited, is a good way to start a relationship, how great a guy can you be?

 

[fishonjazz]

If you care so little that you think interrupting another person, unsolicited, is a good way to start a relationship, how great a guy can you be?

I don't know.
I tend to think that great guys make mistakes sometimes.
Maybe right after hitting on the girl, some of the men felt guilty and changed thier behavior.
I'm not going to judge them all so quickly though