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HighlandHomie

Well-Known Member
I guess users of a dating website are furious they were used as 'experiments'. Link to article here.

The jist of it is that the site has users answer questions, then matches them with other users based on answers. The experiment was to match up people who had very little in common, but make it look like they had a 'high match percentage'.

The outcome was that most people only care about looks, and didn't really care about what people wrote in their profiles...

I've never done online dating because I've always felt it was disingenuous for the sole fact that it's just a bunch of people browsing through pics of people they'd want to bang. I'd like to believe any reasonable human being would understand that is the essence of online dating. The fact people were taken aback by the revelation that online daters really only care about looks to start more alarming then the experiment itself.
 
One time i drive from Provo to Nephi to take girl on a date to prominent play in the Salt Lake City that was sold full and tickets were like 500 US dollars. This was not online date but it feels like it because i meet her with her mom talking about the play and because i was only interested in her looks. When she starts talking I cannot stand it and almost leave her at play.
 
[size/HUGE] boobs [/size];881603 said:
One time i drive from Provo to Nephi to take girl on a date to prominent play in the Salt Lake City that was sold full and tickets were like 500 US dollars. This was not online date but it feels like it because i meet her with her mom talking about the play and because i was only interested in her looks. When she starts talking I cannot stand it and almost leave her at play.
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Provo Russia? Do the mormons wear fur-lined funny underwear?

Weird.
 
Match.com has less of all the bad things everybody mentions when talking about online dating. That's definitely where you should go if you ever jump in. That $20 a month or whatever is is seems to be a sufficient barrier to entry/weeding out mechanism.

I personally can't stand online dating though because it seems like it's a big spiderweb. Everybody's talking to a few people at the same time. And If you give your # out, they harass you all day via texts. And then when you promise to take some girl out, somebody else always shows up that looks more appealing.....it's too much. It's easier to deal with what's in front of your face.
 
Duck Rodgers said:
Match.com has less of all the bad things everybody mentions when talking about online dating. That's definitely where you should go if you ever jump in. That $20 a month or whatever is is seems to be a sufficient barrier to entry/weeding out mechanism.

I personally can't stand online dating though because it seems like it's a big spiderweb. Everybody's talking to a few people at the same time. And If you give your # out, they harass you all day via texts. And then when you promise to take some girl out, somebody else always shows up that looks more appealing.....it's too much. It's easier to deal with what's in front of your face.
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I don't know, I think for some segments of the population it could be an attractive way to meet people. Take 2 cases.

One was a friend of mine who re-entered the dating scene in his mid-30's after a bad marriage. He played around at first and made some seriously bad decisions by going exclusively to bars and had a bad STD scare at one point. Then he settled down and wanted to find a mate, but now he was in his early 40's and in a professional job and he found the offerings sorely lacking. He could keep going to bars, but that got him nowhere fast. He went on some blind dates and such but that was always slim pickings. He was also trying to make himself right with God, so to speak, and decided to try LDS dating sites after getting nowhere at adult single's wards. Within a year he had made several very good connections in his age range with people who shared similar values. He found one in particular, and they hit it off. They have been married a couple years now and have a new baby daughter. Not sure he ever would have found her, or someone similar, through "normal" offline channels.

I see something similar with my sister-in-law. She has re-entered the dating scene due to the untimely death of her husband in 2010. Now she is ready to start dating, and has met some guys she likes, but it is always a huge crap shoot. One guy got her drunk and after she passed out she woke to find him taking off her clothes in his car. Another she found out was married. She has been going the rounds in bars too, as it seems there are precious few places for singles her age to gather outside of a bar-type establishment, and she is finding that it is always the same kind of person there: looking for the drunk hook-up. She has also been on a few blind dates. So recently my wife and her other sister got together and got her a membership on eHarmony. After a bit of time trying to get used to it, and how to interact with folks, she has already been on several promising dates with people she really is clicking with. She has a couple that have come back for 2nd dates, but nothing really serious yet, however it is opening up a new world for her in terms of meeting mariageable (is that a word) people.

I just thank my lucky stars every day that I am in a highly stable, supportive and loving relationship with the most wonderful person I have ever known, who puts up with all my **** and still loves me despite that fact that I married way way up. Who has stood by me through terrible circumstances, health issues, and some things that I just cannot fathom that I would have ever had to deal with in my lifetime. I am also lucky nothing has forcibly taken her from me as happened to my sister in law when her husband was killed in a motorcycle accident. I do not even want to entertain the thought of trying to re-enter the dating scene after 22 years of marriage. Frankly it ****ing scares the living **** out of me.

That said, ashley madison is a pretty good site.

:)
 
I have tried a free website called pof.com (plenty of fish.com). It should change its name to pow.com (plenty of whales). Every girl on there is an expert at taking a picture at a certain camera angle so her forehead is a focal point so they look skinnier. I didn't know what the heck a BBW was until I went on the site, and now I hear that term all day all night. It stands for "big beautiful woman."

All the decent looking girls get flooded by messages because men have no courage to approach a girl in real life but behind a computer screen they build courage so they spam 20 of them that are decent looking on the daily. I have tried messaging about 4 or 5 girls (ok more like 15) with well written out messages and no responses :(. A lot of girls do it for self esteem to feel like they are wanted but have no intention on finding a date.

I left the account and log back once a month or so. I have gotten like 6 or 7 (ok more like 4 or 5) messages from girls approaching me and the girls that message me weigh more than me but are 5 inches shorter. I can maybe look over that but after reading their profiles nothing about it is similar to mine. How can I message someone who is nothing like me or what I want AND is not attractive :(.

Maybe I am just bitter because I am just ugly as **** :(. I was tempted to link my dating profile here as I don't have anything too embarrassing but I have second thoughts.
 
The Blue Elephant said:
I have tried a free website called pof.com (plenty of fish.com). It should change its name to pow.com (plenty of whales). Every girl on there is an expert at taking a picture at a certain camera angle so her forehead is a focal point so they look skinnier. I didn't know what the heck a BBW was until I went on the site, and now I hear that term all day all night. It stands for "big beautiful woman."

All the decent looking girls get flooded by messages because men have no courage to approach a girl in real life but behind a computer screen they build courage so they spam 20 of them that are decent looking on the daily. I have tried messaging about 4 or 5 girls (ok more like 15) with well written out messages and no responses :(. A lot of girls do it for self esteem to feel like they are wanted but have no intention on finding a date.

I left the account and log back once a month or so. I have gotten like 6 or 7 (ok more like 4 or 5) messages from girls approaching me and the girls that message me weigh more than me but are 5 inches shorter. I can maybe look over that but after reading their profiles nothing about it is similar to mine. How can I message someone who is nothing like me or what I want AND is not attractive :(.

Maybe I am just bitter because I am just ugly as **** :(. I was tempted to link my dating profile here as I don't have anything too embarrassing but I have second thoughts.
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You ever try just asking them out first thing? That would be my approach, no matter offline or online. I'm pretty sure about 80% of girls barely get asked out at all to go on actual real dates.
 
The Blue Elephant said:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/23gvy0/its_hard_being_average_my_tinder_experiment/

Interesting study. The average guy and ugly guy both received equally low amounts of messages. The hot guy received like 300 times more then both of them :(
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This is simply supply and demand imo. And the fact that people in general are shallow all too often almost to the point of caricature. My wife has a very good friend who is 46 and single, and they have been friends since they were both about 25. She is above average to good looking, above average to decent body (super boobs, I won't lie), no one will mistake her for a super model, but in no way is she a slouch or cow or anything, also she is nice and smart and fun, so would really be a good catch. And it shows as she has had way more than her fair share of male attention. But she has it in her head that Brad Pitt is going to walk into her place of business and demand to take her right then and there on her desk and she will settle for nothing "less" than physical perfection. She has had many really good guys interested in her (why not, she is a good catch, as I said), but they are either too short, too tall, too fat (the dude she said this about had maybe 15% body fat and played basketball with us regularly on weekends, and he was athletically solid, but he had a bit of a belly because he wasn't fanatical about working out), too skinny, etc. Their hair was not just so, or was thinning, or too curly. Blah blah blah. Partly I think she has some confidence issues, but we have known her long enough that I think largely she is delusional. No reason to pursue anything if he doesn't "turn me on" from the instant I see him. I think this is not an isolated case either. I think this is way more common than we think, even as people try to pretend not to be shallow, more often than not they are. And wow can they miss out.

My wife was not the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, but to me she was very pretty, took decent care of herself, had a nice body even if she wasn't super toned and athletic, and she is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor, and became my best friend. Too many times people get fixated on one thing and miss everything else, hence they end up alone. Sad really.
 
LogGrad98 said:
This is simply supply and demand imo. And the fact that people in general are shallow all too often almost to the point of caricature. My wife has a very good friend who is 46 and single, and they have been friends since they were both about 25. She is above average to good looking, above average to decent body (super boobs, I won't lie), no one will mistake her for a super model, but in no way is she a slouch or cow or anything, also she is nice and smart and fun, so would really be a good catch. And it shows as she has had way more than her fair share of male attention. But she has it in her head that Brad Pitt is going to walk into her place of business and demand to take her right then and there on her desk and she will settle for nothing "less" than physical perfection. She has had many really good guys interested in her (why not, she is a good catch, as I said), but they are either too short, too tall, too fat (the dude she said this about had maybe 15% body fat and played basketball with us regularly on weekends, and he was athletically solid, but he had a bit of a belly because he wasn't fanatical about working out), too skinny, etc. Their hair was not just so, or was thinning, or too curly. Blah blah blah. Partly I think she has some confidence issues, but we have known her long enough that I think largely she is delusional. No reason to pursue anything if he doesn't "turn me on" from the instant I see him. I think this is not an isolated case either. I think this is way more common than we think, even as people try to pretend not to be shallow, more often than not they are. And wow can they miss out.

My wife was not the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, but to me she was very pretty, took decent care of herself, had a nice body even if she wasn't super toned and athletic, and she is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor, and became my best friend. Too many times people get fixated on one thing and miss everything else, hence they end up alone. Sad really.
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You know a good movie that kind of gets to the core of this is Don Jon. Do not watch it if you are squeamish about portrayals of sexual content and the F-word, but if you want to gain a deeper understanding of this dichotomy of physical fixation and shallowness vs real emotional connection that is a great flick.
 
I like to read the craigslist personals because I find them hilarious. In the time that I've done that, I've learned that a lot of women call themselves 'curvy'. Now, when I think of a curvy woman, I think of somebody like Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez, Christina Hendricks…etc, etc. But online…when they call themselves curvy, it's just a nice word for fat. You aren't curvy if you're stomach extends almost as far out as your breasts, no matter how big your breasts are.

That's my input.
 
LogGrad98 said:
This is simply supply and demand imo. And the fact that people in general are shallow all too often almost to the point of caricature. My wife has a very good friend who is 46 and single, and they have been friends since they were both about 25. She is above average to good looking, above average to decent body (super boobs, I won't lie), no one will mistake her for a super model, but in no way is she a slouch or cow or anything, also she is nice and smart and fun, so would really be a good catch. And it shows as she has had way more than her fair share of male attention. But she has it in her head that Brad Pitt is going to walk into her place of business and demand to take her right then and there on her desk and she will settle for nothing "less" than physical perfection. She has had many really good guys interested in her (why not, she is a good catch, as I said), but they are either too short, too tall, too fat (the dude she said this about had maybe 15% body fat and played basketball with us regularly on weekends, and he was athletically solid, but he had a bit of a belly because he wasn't fanatical about working out), too skinny, etc. Their hair was not just so, or was thinning, or too curly. Blah blah blah. Partly I think she has some confidence issues, but we have known her long enough that I think largely she is delusional. No reason to pursue anything if he doesn't "turn me on" from the instant I see him. I think this is not an isolated case either. I think this is way more common than we think, even as people try to pretend not to be shallow, more often than not they are. And wow can they miss out.

My wife was not the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, but to me she was very pretty, took decent care of herself, had a nice body even if she wasn't super toned and athletic, and she is intelligent, articulate, has a great sense of humor, and became my best friend. Too many times people get fixated on one thing and miss everything else, hence they end up alone. Sad really.
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This is why we marry young, before our stuff goes downhill. I doubt I could find an old hag I was attracted to if I were back on the market.
 
I went to craigslist before. I left when I found this. A chick posted no picture but said she is not a bbw but voluptuous. Sounds great right???? Here is the chart she posted.


attachment.php




OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything a 2 or beyond is ****ing grossly obese. I'll rather bang a tub of mayonnaise then anything a 2 or beyond on that scale. It will be the same sensation.
 
The Blue Elephant said:
I went to craigslist before. I left when I found this. A chick posted no picture but said she is not a bbw but voluptuous. Sounds great right???? Here is the chart she posted.


attachment.php




OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anything a 2 or beyond is ****ing grossly obese. I'll rather bang a tub of mayonnaise then anything a 2 or beyond on that scale. It will be the same sensation.
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The 2 is not preferable, but it wouldn't be a deal-breaker with the right person. The 4 and 5 though . . . are the buttocks on the front?
 
Hate to tell everyone this but it is not much of a stretch, over the course of a long-term relationship, to hit #2 fairly easily and find it a real challenge to get back to 1, even if they started out as a .5.

Also, I think this is a whacked out scale personally. But it is probably more realistic the way people rate themselves online, since everyone wants to think they are a step better than they really are (maybe due to the "residual self-image" from the matrix) even when they claim to be realistic about it.

Like our own recent thread about fat percentages. Unless people were clicking the poll based on measured results you could probably skew the whole thing down at least one level to get closer to reality.
 
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