Jazz next opponent is the Knicks, so I decided to watch some Knick games. I’ve watched every game for the past twenty five years, so that makes me an expert on this team. I also studied the Jazz. Here’s my scouting report for Tuesday night’s huge game.
JAZZ:
1. A team that let all their stars go. Gobert, Donovan, Niang all gone. Jazz have no super stars. There are more famous players on a 13 years old AAU team than on the Jazz.
2. Jazz best player Lauri (that’s a girl’s name) Markkinen will have to go against our German Uber-man Isaiah Hartenstein and Lauri (that’s a girl’s name) Markkinen will end up with a triple 0-0-0
3. Jazz fans are known to be notorious racists (just ask Russ Westbrook), so those fans will root for our German Uber man Hartenstein making Hartenstein have an incredible 30-30-30 game.
KNICKS
1. Uhhh……we suck.
2. Hartenstein will give you fits; you will be impressed with Brunson; Julius Randle will cheap shot a Jazz player with a vicious elbow and think he is cool for doing that; RJ Barrett will remind everyone how a third pick in the first round out of Duke is the biggest bust of a draft pick in history.
3. Thibbs does not know how to coach. He should leave right now so he can take a job as a department store Santa.
