I don't want you guys to think I hate my wife, but its just nice to vent on here. And yes shes trucking crazy, but shes ridiculously hot also and she loves sex sooo much. So I do what i gotta do. Anywho heres a new tale from my really real life.
I go to work at 7am, my wife is an insomniac. It sucks ********. So, Its 1am and we just got done watching Better Call Saul and I roll over to go to sleep. She goes downstairs to do whatever the **** she does from 2-6 every morning. I finally nod off a bit and I hear her storming up the stairs. " Where the **** is the indian food! (Trader Joes has these microwavable single serving indian foods and they are actually pretty great) "Well, I ate one, I fed one to our daughter on Saturday and you ate one, oh yeah and I took one to work to eat." "Those were for me! Why the **** do you eat everything I buy for me!?" "Ummm, I wasn't aware they were only for you, I guess I'll just take my own shopping cart next time and buy my own ****." "Ughhhh you're so annoying." Then 5 minutes go by I start to fall asleep again and I hear her start yelling from the kitchen. "Where is the Nutella!" (She eats pomegranites and Nutella, weird i know) "Ummm, our daughter ate the rest of it so I threw the container away." "You threw it away?!" "Well it was empty so yeah." "Why the **** is everything I want always gone!" So I stand up, put on some shorts storm out the door, go to 711 down the street and buy her some god DAMN Nutella. Its 3 am mind you. Walk back in throw it at her, walk up stairs and go to bed. She comes in at 6 and is like "I'm sorry I was being such a psycho, my PMS is really bad." Lunatic. I'm going to stop by Trader Joes on my way home and buy like 20 indian meals and chuck them on the counter when i walk in. Welcome to my life.