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What is your morning routine?


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Do a short core routine.
I first read this as "snort coke." Would be a hell of a way to wake up.

Nobody once stated they’re whacking it yet. Lying sacks.

Then again, Fish has yet to respond.
This thread immediately made me think of Kevin Spacey's narration on American Beauty about that being the highlight of his day.


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Wake up about 2 hours before I have to get showering.
Wish I could have a cigarette.
Sometimes my wife has slept in so I have to feed the cats before I do anything else, if I want to keep my ankles intact.
Start my coffee - I make cold brew, so I just pour some of the concentrate in my mug and start the water in the electric kettle.
Sit at the computer while the water boils.
Drink my coffee while sitting at the computer, doing whatever.
Give one of my cats her medication (she's asthmatic).
Shower and take my meds.
Catch the bus to work.
Assuming I don't need to stop at the store, I get to work and get a cup of coffee, also prepping my breakfast - usually a muffin or bagel that's I keep in the freezer.
Eat my breakfast while going through emails and messages.
Sigh heavily and start working.
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Leesee, polish off a box of Twinkies before I set one foot on the floor. Debate getting out of bed at all. Finally decided I might as well. Lumber to the bathroom for dookie #1. Back to bed, I lost the fight. Fall briefly back to sleep. Wake up to slobber on my pillow and a Twinkie wrapper stuck to my head. Stumble into the kitchen. Bowl of frosted flakes or lucky charms with whatever liquid I can find in the fridge, usually milk. Sometimes oj. Occasionally NyQuil. On NyQuil days fall asleep in my cereal bowl. Wake up to lucky charms marshmallows stuck on my forehead. Roll into the floor and let the dogs lick me clean. Not there you pervs, unless they are really into it. Wander back into the bathroom for dookie #2. Occasionally dookie #2 comes in the shower, just waffle-stomp that ****er down the drain. Oh yeah, shower, most days. Otherwise debate changing underwear. Find a lost Twinkie, polish that off, depending on how chewy it is. Who am I kidding, polish it off anyway. Put mostly human-looking clothes on my body, hopefully after drying off from the shower. Oh yeah, after shower lay down on the floor in the middle of the bedroom to dry off. Then put on clothes. Stagger to the couch. Turn on Hulu or some ****. Dig a Twinkie out of the couch if I'm lucky.

And all that before 2 pm.
I was unaware Trump posted here :cool:


Free at last!!!
Hit snooze once. Finally stumble out of bed and sit on the toilet. Fall asleep on said toilet. Wake up and finish. Brush teeth, put on deodorant, get dressed. If there’s time, eat a bowl of cereal. If not, take my meds and out the door before 6. When we’re in the heart of baseball season, I usually won’t see my house again til well after 9 pm. I usually shower at night since I’m almost always sweaty/dirty from work and baseball.

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