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Your most memorable poos

  • Thread starter Thread starter Deleted member 848
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Has anyone here tried to poop while squatting over a toilet? It's suppose to be healthier for your colon. Like you put your feet on the toilet seat and just aim your butt over the bowl. I've always wanted to try it, suppose to making pooping way easier and result in less wiping, but I'm super scared I will either miss the toilet or fall off teh toilet.

Also, things could get splashy
 
I have many tales could weave about poop. i have had many glorious turds and have a friend base who also have glorious moments or turdness. oh where to begin.
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so in high school i always disliked using the rest rooms poop on the toilet seat is a huge deterrent for me. and all HS toilets have a lump or two of crap on it. but there was this one bathroom by the home ec/ cooking class rooms that always had a very pristine bathroom. no usually i held my poop as long as i could cause i hated going at school, so when i get to the bathroom i really have no agency, i will either go in my pants or the toilet. so i walk in what is usually a nice clean bathroom to do work and what do i find on the floor in my stall??? i turd on the floor standing up right i could tell it had been shaped by the hands of someone skilled just by the detail of the turd. not to mention it had a cap made of toilet paper around what i would presume was its neck. i took my poop in the presence of a super turn that day.
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I had another friend who had been saving up is poop in mason jars and depositing it in random lockers in our high school and then locking them and leaving the poop jars open.. stunk bad
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me and another buddy were doing the whole blue dart thing (u know when you light your farts on fire) well this one time my friend had assumed the position and was about to release the methane to make it all possible but pushes to hard and released some semi solid **** in his pants. blue darting became old news but we tease him all the time
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had a buddy on the mission that had bad runs we thought it had passed and were going to go out tracking we had just gotten out of the car and were going to go knock some doors when all of a sudden he sneezed, he then looks at me with a look of disappointment and says "elder, we need to go back home" that was all he needed to say, i knew what had been done.
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another buddy at a friend’s house. he was watching a movie with his girl, had a bad stomach ache realized he was in need of a bathroom. he didn’t want to use the downstairs one in fear she would hear. so he began to walk up the stairs, he must have exerted a little to much effort cause i started to poop while going up the stairs. he got about half way to the top and realized the was no saving his pants so he just stopped mid stair tucked his pants in his shoes and finished on the stairs. he then proceeded to the bathroom. he dumped his close in the garbage then went through their dirty close hamper and snuck out the window and went home... good times...
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last story is about me.

it was the last who-ra before my friends and i were going to leave on our missions. we had been going and doing all our favorite things and hadn’t taken a bathroom break in a while. so we stopped off at a Walmart. i always go to the bathroom in the back by the lay way, i feel it gets less use. helps me poop more freely. so we all go back there to take a ****. while back there i decided id like to pull the bomber stance while pooping.( this is when you stand on top of the stall with your arms supporting you and you poop from a high distance and try to hit your target, like bombing or skydiving for turds.) back to to story. so i get in position and prepare myself i begin to push. (btw my poop has a tendency to be a little runny especially right after eating) (i had just eaten) I released to off valve and began to poop. however it was little bomber or skydivers it was 100% acid rain. my sphincter burned, my poop rained down on that poor stall and toilet like hell fire. my friends see what was happening ditched me and left me with my shameful act. me not know what to do just jumped into the stall next to me wiped left. i still feel bad for what i have done.

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hope you all found enjoyment in my excrement
 
One time I had diarrhea (recurring theme) that I got from food-poisoning, when I was travelling with my family in Europe. I got it the day before our flight was scheduled to leave from Zurich.

I was 12 years old, and I simply had no control. When I got up from our rented car (en-route to dropping it off), there was a puddle under my ***. Had to change my clothing.

We walked into the airport, I started ****ting myself again, so I went to the washroom, and my mom went to the only clothing store and bought a women's 29 waist-sized jeans.

I used these jeans, carrying them well above my waist, zig-zagging from washroom to washroom, constitutively ****ting myself every 15 minutes or so.

Don't come back to Europe please...
 
One time I had diarrhea (recurring theme) that I got from food-poisoning, when I was travelling with my family in Europe. I got it the day before our flight was scheduled to leave from Zurich.

I was 12 years old, and I simply had no control. When I got up from our rented car (en-route to dropping it off), there was a puddle under my ***. Had to change my clothing.

We walked into the airport, I started ****ting myself again, so I went to the washroom, and my mom went to the only clothing store and bought a women's 29 waist-sized jeans.

I used these jeans, carrying them well above my waist, zig-zagging from washroom to washroom, constitutively ****ting myself every 15 minutes or so.

LOL. Never had a poop that I couldn't hold, but it's been close, damn close.
 
td;dr

(first "d" = disgusting)

Everyone_Poops.jpg
 
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