One Brow
Well-Known Member
Bulletproof said most of my response very well. I can only clarify I am against systemic male dominance, and ask if this means you are not opposed to systemic male dominance.
Stupid Pet Peeves
- Thread starter Hartsock
- Start date
Bulletproof said most of my response very well. I can only clarify I am against systemic male dominance, and ask if this means you are not opposed to systemic male dominance.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
Maybe, or maybe I'm simply a genuine person who wants to understand the complaints of others but never fully, truly can.
I like to believe members of this forum understand each other and have good enough rapport to get a discussion accomplished. Maybe my hopes are too high.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
**** you for even asking that or thinking that I would be.
No apology necessary, but thanks. And yes, I am against male dominance and female oppression. And I think a great disservice is done equating that to hatred of men. Still, you can think of me as you will. It's all good.
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One Brow
Well-Known Member
Sorry, I loaded that question a little harshly. You're right, I know better than that.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
Thank you.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
Again, I worded it poorly, thinking I've read enough of your thoughts that a generic statement wouldn't come off wrong.
Plus, I'm pissed off at the world right now so I don't respond as well as i should. So there is getting back to the pet peeves for ya. I am mad at the world and don't like it.
My mother has a friend who is in early stages of dementia. Her son lives with her, and she supports him financially as he has not worked for several years. But he does a somewhat poor job of taking care of her, and perhaps is robbing her blind, but nothing we could prove. Right now he has not come home for several days (I imagine he is at his girlfriend's house an hour away) and he has his phone blocking her calls. Why is this my pet peeve? Because she is constantly calling my mother in a panic over everything, and my mom is constantly upset about the situation, and we don't know what to do about it. My mom just called me because her friend's phone is about to die and she can't figure out how to charge it, so she wants my mom to go buy her a new phone. Uh, no.
Edit - she and Mom found the charger. Hallelujah!
Edit - she and Mom found the charger. Hallelujah!
That sucks. But consider how difficult this most likely is for the son as well. Not sure if he took this on when several others also wanted to (I doubt it) but if it was basically him or nothing I'm sure it has been an enormous burden and emotionally difficult for him.
I do agree with that. I would not be very good at the caretaker role myself. But he lies to her all the time, won't tell her when he's going or coming back, and generally upsetting her at every turn. He's a former drug addict, and she's worried he has fallen off the wagon. She shouldn't be left alone for long periods of time, and he should be making arrangements for her care when he can't be there. She has one other son who wants as little as possible to do with her. It's sad and depressing, and the burden is falling to my 80-year-old mother entirely too often.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
I can teach you how. "What are vice grips" @troutdumb
I can change my own oil. I don’t want to.
This was the first time using this place. Won’t be going back.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
I helped Trout change his alternator on a long lunch break so he could get **** done and go to a poker night. I asked him "why don't you just use vice grips and buy a new bolt". His response "what are those"? And then we bought vice grips and changed out most of the alternator before I left back to work, with advice that he needed to buy a new bolt. "Oh no, this one will work. I'm never changing this damn thing again". Later on, "you were right, I had to get a new bolt".
Paraphrasing troutdumb.
idestroyedthetoilet
Well-Known Member
I figured, just giving you ****. It is more headache to do it yourself than Jiffy Lubing it anyway.
Is there some sort of local agency that could provide some support?
These situations are sad and depressing. And we should all pray it's not our situation down the road.
my own pet peeve seems quite trivial in comparison...
The house across the street from us was remodeled and no longer has an "apron" on their driveway, which is just barely longer than their cars. So their cars, which are never in the 2-car garage they added, are always parked right to the edge where the driveway meets the street. Our driveway lines up with theirs, which means that when I back my car out of our driveway, it seems as though I could easily hit their car. And when there are cars parked on the street on either side of my driveway, it's an even tighter fit to back out.
Just annoying...
(there is no public sidewalk on that side of the street, so it's not as if their cars are blocking the sidewalk)
The house across the street from us was remodeled and no longer has an "apron" on their driveway, which is just barely longer than their cars. So their cars, which are never in the 2-car garage they added, are always parked right to the edge where the driveway meets the street. Our driveway lines up with theirs, which means that when I back my car out of our driveway, it seems as though I could easily hit their car. And when there are cars parked on the street on either side of my driveway, it's an even tighter fit to back out.
Just annoying...
(there is no public sidewalk on that side of the street, so it's not as if their cars are blocking the sidewalk)
I'm in my mid 30's and have moved back home to care for my parents, most of the time its ok but sometimes it can be incredibly hard not having your own space to lead your own life.
The 3rd degree when i get home late or just trying to have some private time with your girlfriend without them intruding and the genuine shock they have when you tell them it really would be handy if they could just **** off for a while.
I dunno this dudes deal he's probably an arsehole but i can say it not an easy thing to do and its hard to strike a balance between your obligations to your parents and your obligation to yourself to live your own life and have some happiness. Ive been doing this for a few years and i dont know how many more i can do it for im at an age where if i do it too much longer i could be missing out on having my own family.
I've been living with my mother for a few years as well, and it can be soul-sucking for sure. I miss my old life where I didn't have to explain why I stir things the way I do, or why I use the dish I'm using, or why I buy this brand of toilet paper. I have to explain every little thing I do. And don't get me started on how much time I have to spend on explaining her phone to her. It makes me crazy! So yeah, I get it how hard it is. And his mother is a piece of work for sure. But ignoring the issues won't make them go away. It is a danger to her to leave her alone for any length of time, and disappearing for several days is not a good thing. She hadn't eaten, she hadn't taken her pills, and she couldn't figure out what was going on. It was horrible! He is back now, thankfully. But if he does it again, she has told him that she will call the police. It is her car that he takes, and she certainly could report it stolen.