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annual Bolerhack Sucks thread

JimLes said:
When I was 16, I had this job at Burger King so I could pay for prom tickets for my date and me, as well as a few other related expenses. It was the first job I had that lasted more than a week. I worked at BK for like 6 months. They never let me work the cash registers because I didn't suffer fools gladly and tended to tell morons they're morons. Morons don't like that. I couldn't be bothered to remember what goes into which sandwich because who cares and what difference does it makes. I once grabbed the fry basket after lifting it out of the fryer, because I was talking to a colleague about how Karl just dropped 50 on the Sonics in the playoff opener. I made a fish sandwich for someone at closing time from a piece of fish I had fried when I came in for my 6-hour shift. I mean, you order a fish sandwich at BK, you deserved that. They mostly just put me in the back to wash dishes, which I happily did because they allowed me to control the radio which I put on classic rock. I used to steal food at the end of my shift. I would make myself that long chicken sandwich BK had, but I would first dip the patty into gravy. Then I'd top it with bacon and a whopper patty. Then I'd eat it as I walked home at 10PM.

I feel that Boler is about as competent at his job as I was at mine.
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idestroyedthetoilet said:
I was going to start this thread in preseason after he said "Donovan pushes up a floater for three" but figured I shouldn't encroach on your territory.

Has anyone ever seen a floater three? Ever?
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What about his analysis last night where he was talking about “Donovan’s early struggles”? Does he have any clue what’s going on? Harpsack still has to explain the most basic things to him.

Can you all imagine what it would be like if Boler had to watch games from the upper bowl? He’d probably be talking about dwarfs playing netball.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Boler rating. All ratings on a 1 to 10 scale. 10 is best.

Voice - 6
Enthusiasm - 5
Knowledge of game - 2
Play by play phraseology - 2
Play by play general ability - 3
Likeability - 6
Interaction with co-host - 7
Cares about the game - 1

Overall - 3

So see, he objectively sucks.
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Math says the overall would then be 4.

There, not their or they're.
 
silesian said:
He's likable. What baffles me is that no one ever chooses to teach him basic basketball rules and terminology. All Matty needs to do is whisper in his ear the difference between a skip pass and a bounce pass (my pet peeve). He complains about calls that are clearly correct. But he's nice and articulate so I guess you can't have it all.
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Define articulate
 
Jazzman12 said:
If you rate Boler’s voice as a 6, you’re up your own ***, plain and simple.

Tear him down in every other category if you must, but that voice is golden as ****.
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****ing way wrong, bro. His inflection is the equivalent of a teenaged girl obsessed with looking in the mirror while exaggerating a pose. He needs to get over himself. His voice is a 2 on his best day.
 
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