Friday: Melo Kills The Jazz....As He Always Will


MeloTheJazzKiller

Well-Known Member
I went to the Knicks v Jazz game on January 20th, 2016 at The Garden. I went to get a hot dog (12 dollars) and a water (6 dollars), and by the time I got back to my seat, Melo had already put up 30 points against the Jazz! I sat down, smiled to myself, and said, "Man, Melo The Jazz Killer strikes again."

You do realize you Jazz are playing Melo The Jazz Killer this Friday night, right? Or do you keep such worrisome and frightening things out of your minds as best you can?

I say humiliation again for the Jazz. Melo will put up 24 and block 8 in the first quarter to honor his friend Kobe. Melo will kill the Jazz. Bet on it.

Melo the Jazz killer will kill you Friday night. And I'll even go further: I say when the game ends, Jazz fans will rise from their seats and give Melo the Jazz killer a standing ovation just like the Russians gave to Rocky at the end of ROCKY IV.
 


The Fresh Prince

Well-Known Member
I went to the Knicks v Jazz game on January 20th, 2016 at The Garden. I went to get a hot dog (12 dollars) and a water (6 dollars), and by the time I got back to my seat, Melo had already put up 30 points against the Jazz! I sat down, smiled to myself, and said, "Man, Melo The Jazz Killer strikes again."

You do realize you Jazz are playing Melo The Jazz Killer this Friday night, right? Or do you keep such worrisome and frightening things out of your minds as best you can?

I say humiliation again for the Jazz. Melo will put up 24 and block 8 in the first quarter to honor his friend Kobe. Melo will kill the Jazz. Bet on it.

Melo the Jazz killer will kill you Friday night. And I'll even go further: I say when the game ends, Jazz fans will rise from their seats and give Melo the Jazz killer a standing ovation just like the Russians gave to Rocky at the end of ROCKY IV.

Life would be pretty boring without you here. I'm more of a Rocky 5 guy myself. Tommy "Gunn" Morrison! (RIP)
 

MeloTheJazzKiller

Well-Known Member
I'm more of a Rocky 5 guy myself. Tommy "Gunn" Morrison! (RIP)
Nah, nothing tops Rocky's after fight speech to the Russian people. "If I can change, then you can change, EVERYBODY can change." Man, that changed my life as I am sure it changed the lives of so many millions.

Melo should deliver that same speech after the game Friday night. And, yeah, he could throw in a line or two of Rocky's speech to Tommy Gunn from ROCKY V: "We wuz like brothers!"

Won't be a dry eye in the house. Melo puts up 81 to match Kobe's game high and then delivers his medley of Rocky speeches.
 

Lakers_Slapper

Well-Known Member
I went to the Knicks v Jazz game on January 20th, 2016 at The Garden. I went to get a hot dog (12 dollars) and a water (6 dollars), and by the time I got back to my seat, Melo had already put up 30 points against the Jazz! I sat down, smiled to myself, and said, "Man, Melo The Jazz Killer strikes again."

You do realize you Jazz are playing Melo The Jazz Killer this Friday night, right? Or do you keep such worrisome and frightening things out of your minds as best you can?

I say humiliation again for the Jazz. Melo will put up 24 and block 8 in the first quarter to honor his friend Kobe. Melo will kill the Jazz. Bet on it.

Melo the Jazz killer will kill you Friday night. And I'll even go further: I say when the game ends, Jazz fans will rise from their seats and give Melo the Jazz killer a standing ovation just like the Russians gave to Rocky at the end of ROCKY IV.

Melo has killed a few things during his 17 year NBA career. I could talk about how he wasn't man enough to make it to a finals despite being on loaded rosters in Denver and New York, but today I'll just talk to you about his success when facing the Jazz.

Let me take you back to 2009-2010 Playoff season. This was the year that you were only 6 years away from hitting puberty and having a deeper voice than you mother for the first time! Carmelo lost to the Jazz in 6 games despite having guys like
Chauncey Billups
Aaron Afflalo
Kenyon Martin (in his prime)
Jr Smith (in his prime)
Birdman (in his prime)

Lets keep going about your Killer Melo and how good he is.
2003-2004 Nuggets lose in the 1st round 1-4 to the T-Wolves (Carmelo shoots 33% FG%)
2004-2005 Nuggets lose in the 1st round 1-4 to the Spurs (Carmelo shoots 42% FG%)
2005-2006 Nuggets lose in the 1st round 1-4 to the Clippers (Carmelo shoots 33% FG%)
2006-2007 Nuggets lose in the 1st round 1-4 to the Spurs (Carmelo shoots 48% FG% and still can't get it done)
2007-2008 Nuggets swept in the 1st round 0-4 to the Lakers (Carmelo shoots 36% FG%)

Do I even need to go on? During his prime, he sucked. He sucked then and he sucks now.
You said to "bet on it" that he would put up 24 points and block 8 in the 1st quarter to honor his friend Kobe Bryant. Kobe hated him because of his work ethic. Melo is a marshmallow. He's lazy and fat. He's never been great. You chose to idolize losers and that tells me everything about you. Most fans followed Jordan, Kobe, LeBron, Malone, or Kareem. You followed and dumped faith into a player that nobody wanted 6 months ago. You dumped faith into a loser.

Carmelo played almost 40 minutes tonight and scored 5 points, he didn't block a single shot, and didn't get a single assist. NO surprise there. If you knew anything you would know that Carmelo has one of the lowest assists per point scored out of any player in NBA history. But yea, then there's you. Melo's stats are crispy compared to yours.

Your averaging 0.5 TPP (thoughts per post)
0.0 ISM (Intelligent statements made)
98.9 LOI (Level of Ignorance)
And 2% SEPWTT with over 200 attempts. (Successful encounters per women talked to) and the 2% succession rating is because you have friendly cousins.
 

JazzyFresh

Banned
What has happened to the Blazers?


Oh that's right... they signed Melo the team killer. Dude is allergic to the playoffs and sadly he effects even the best players like Dame with his contagion.
 

MeloTheJazzKiller

Well-Known Member
Carmelo played almost 40 minutes tonight and didn't get a single assist. .
Uhh, is it Melo's fault that Hezonja can't make a shot?

Melo made incredible passes all night. Announcer Doris Burke even praised Melo's phenomenal passing ability during the broadcast! Did you not watch the game? Melo making one incredible pass after another, announcers telling their audience that Melo's passing game is criminally overlooked.

So you didn't hear Doris or see Melo's incredible passing. Uhh, next time you watch a game, turn the sound up. Better still, next time you watch a game, turn the TV on.
 

Gameface

Be Brave Enough To Be the Light!
Contributor
2018 Award Winner
Uhh, is it Melo's fault that Hezonja can't make a shot?

Melo made incredible passes all night. Announcer Doris Burke even praised Melo's phenomenal passing ability during the broadcast! Did you not watch the game? Melo making one incredible pass after another, announcers telling their audience that Melo's passing game is criminally overlooked.

So you didn't hear Doris or see Melo's incredible passing. Uhh, next time you watch a game, turn the sound up. Better still, next time you watch a game, turn the TV on.
That's cute, you think passing and assists are the same thing.
 

MeloTheJazzKiller

Well-Known Member
That's cute, you think passing and assists are the same thing.
This isn't football, kid. In basketball, you don't hand the ball off to another player and hope he scores. You, get this, pass the ball in order to get an assist.

Wow, I actually have to explain what assists and passes are to Jazz fans. No wonder why they think they won last night's game. If they don't know what an assist is, how could they ever understand the concept of goal tending?
 

Jazzmix

Well-Known Member
We owe big thanks to Melo for tonight, he did everything he could to give us a win. And actually last time in Portland he also kept us in game for a long stretch but we couldn't capitalize on that.
 

Gameface

Be Brave Enough To Be the Light!
Contributor
2018 Award Winner
This isn't football, kid. In basketball, you don't hand the ball off to another player and hope he scores. You, get this, pass the ball in order to get an assist.

Wow, I actually have to explain what assists and what passes are to Jazz fans. No wonder why they think they won last night's game. If they don't know what an assist is, how could they ever understand the concept of goal tending?
Let me put it this way...

Stockton doesn't have the NBA career record in passes.
 

Top