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I ate a bowl full of ants today.

TroutBum

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And I didn't realize it until I was pretty much done and happened to notice them coming out of the bottom of the cereal box I was reading. STG and their teeny-tiny ants. Dirty bass turds. Note to self: Don't put food on the floor of the pantry.

That got me thinking about how gross some of the places I've eaten were, and that I'm sure I've eaten a lot worse than ants at most of the restaurants I like to frequent. I found this place: https://www.utahsright.com/h_inspections.php Go see if your favorite dive is on the list; I bet it is. I was shocked and awed to see that my home away from home, Pho 99, wasn't on the list. Amazing.
 
I literally pulled a dead cockroach out of my dinner in Honduras and just kept eating. Made my native companion vomit.
 
When we gonna vape together, trout?

I'm really trying to figure out what a "vape" is. Did you mean rape? If so, then anytime you want man, even though it won't really be rape since you'd never say no once you saw my package. Or perhaps it's short for "vaporize"? You kids and your lingo, I swear. Unless it's made by VICK'S and goes all over my chest -- ya, my chest -- then I don't vape. Other than that, I don't know wtf you're talking about.

I'd eat the **** out of some brownies though, PBUH.
 
heard u lost an election or somehting bro. sorry bout dat. better luck next time. try to stay away from eatin ants n **** bro
 
heard u lost an election or somehting bro. sorry bout dat. better luck next time. try to stay away from eatin ants n **** bro

Two, if you want to be real -- although, I dropped out of the last one. TBH, I got 350ish early/mail in votes, which is just about as many total votes as last time. My opponent, in the end, received 900ish total votes. My name wasn't even on the ballot on Nov. 5th; if I got even a third of his votes (which is pretty reasonable, all things considered) it would have been an interesting finish. Had I won, I would have been only 1 of 3 candidates in the whole F'ing state to beat an incumbent. (Way to go, Utah -- you're so diverse!) One of the other three was my father in law, who beat out T-Ville's then-current Mayor. Woulda, coulda, shoulda, right? I decided it was more important to move to the STG so I could slowly become an obnoxious homosexual.
 
I decided it was more important to move to the STG so I could slowly become an obnoxious homosexual.

You've trained long and hard (ahahahhahahhahahah hahahahaaha) for this. Glad to see you're getting your shot.

Man I'm hilarious.
 
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