If You Were Coaching the Jazz....

Discussion in 'Utah Jazz' started by kabenac, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. kabenac

    kabenac Well-Known Member

    5,448
    1,494
    228
    May 26, 2010
    What would you tell each player to do/not do/improve on? For example, you might tell Tinsley to stop shooting and to concentrate on passing and looking for the open guy, or you might tell Marvin Williams to run the floor; and you might run some screen plays for him to see if he can use his athleticism to his advantage.

    What would you tell specific players to do/not do?
     
  2. Stifle Tower

    Stifle Tower Punch Bowl Re-Filler

    20,830
    1,538
    113
    Jun 3, 2010
    Earl Watson: retire
    Al Jefferson: pack your bags

    Kanter/Favors/Burks: Come back in 10 years when you are all "veterans."
     
  3. chawx

    chawx Active Member

    753
    110
    43
    May 26, 2010
    Al : No one will expect you to pass, sooo you should totally do that whenever you see any one come to double you. If I see one case of a double-team or triple-team that you fail to pass out of, you're *** is on the bench! Also, create contact. If you're not on the free throw line after your first two shots, you're *** will also be on the bench!

    Everyone else : Push it up the floor more! Run! Run! Run! If you get tired, raise your hand, and I'll sit your ***. Also, if anyone is slacking off, looks tired, plays passively...you're on the bench!

    It's not hard.
     
  4. kabenac

    kabenac Well-Known Member

    5,448
    1,494
    228
    May 26, 2010
    If I could fire Corbin and hire you, I would.
     
  5. zman1527

    zman1527 Well-Known Member

    2,349
    128
    113
    May 26, 2010
    Big Al: "vacation starts early Big Guy. See ya later."

    Kanter, Burks, Favors, Hayward: "Get ready for 40 minutes per game."

    Hayward: "This summer develop a floater or tear drop in the lane, okay?"
     
  6. friendsinmyhead

    friendsinmyhead Member

    332
    18
    18
    May 27, 2010
    1.Pick up Jazz dancers
    2. Fight David Locke
    3. run naked through the ESA
    4. Start fight with Harping then run away (he was a football player for Gods sake!)
    5. Give MO. Big Gal, and Marvin a three week head start on their vacation (similar to AKs back in the day)
    6. Submit application to coach in D league
     
    zman1527 likes this.
  7. The Fresh Prince

    The Fresh Prince Well-Known Member

    5,072
    573
    203
    May 26, 2010
    It don't mean Harpring can box, but I'd probably second guess fighting a 6 foot 7 meathead too.
     
  8. zman1527

    zman1527 Well-Known Member

    2,349
    128
    113
    May 26, 2010
    You're hired!
     
  9. Hitman

    Hitman Well-Known Member

    1,495
    694
    168
    May 26, 2010
    Al: Either play hard on D, or sit.

    Millsap: Hustle like you used to. Stop pouting.

    Hayward: Rebound more. Learn to finish in the lane.

    Foye: Learn to score inside the arc.

    Favors: Develop a go-to move. Practice free throws.

    Kanter: Improve passing.

    Marvin: Stop turning invisible. Drive to the bucket more.

    Mo: Stop with the chucking already!

    Burks: Free-throw shooting.

    Carroll: Good dog!

    Tinsley: Sit!

    Watson: Play dead!

    Evans: Practice free throws.

    Murphy: Work on your towel-waving.
     
  10. CAKAR

    CAKAR Well-Known Member

    2,081
    173
    63
    Oct 13, 2012
    I would guess fighting a 6.10 300 pounds BIG-MAN like AL. Thats the reason why no coach can bench him. If you want to bench AL, you have to fight him. In Texas they say, that BIG-AL killed a bull just with his hands while playing harmonica.
     
  11. The Fresh Prince

    The Fresh Prince Well-Known Member

    5,072
    573
    203
    May 26, 2010
    Yeah, if you hit him he'd probably cry, throw a fit, batter you up n fry you for dinner.
     
  12. CAKAR

    CAKAR Well-Known Member

    2,081
    173
    63
    Oct 13, 2012
    I just hope you now bro, that 30 Man would not be enough to Hold back AL, if he is going to be angry. Just for provision, it would be really dangerous to say this right into his face.
     
  13. Xthren

    Xthren Well-Known Member

    9,850
    894
    203
    May 25, 2010
    Jefferson - Offer a bucket of chicken for every Free throw made in the game
    Millsap - another day in training camp for his brother for every person he puts on the floor (millsap would make an excellent enforcer)
    Mo - Pass the ball or play some where else next season (ie run a better offense)
    Marvin - put icy hot in his jock strap so that he can get a little fire in him. tell him it stops when he starts betting his own fire
    Burks - PnR baby that is his bread and butter
    Hayward - Curls and more curls
    Favors - Threaten him with Marvins punishment
    Kanter - Giver him some of those funky jumping shoes that they had on seinfeld
    Foye - Give him $100 for every lay up he gets
    Carroll - See Millsap
    Tinsley - Mentor, mentor mentor
    Watson - just buy him a wheel chair
     
  14. The Fresh Prince

    The Fresh Prince Well-Known Member

    5,072
    573
    203
    May 26, 2010
    What if I brought a sledgehammer to the fight and hit him where his supposedly Big Al is?
     
  15. The Fresh Prince

    The Fresh Prince Well-Known Member

    5,072
    573
    203
    May 26, 2010
    Kevin Garnett made Al Jefferson cry by the way, Kevin Garnett still breathes.
     
  16. addictionary

    addictionary Well-Known Member

    13,163
    1,492
    228
    Mar 21, 2012
    If I was coaching the Jazz I'd quit.
     
  17. Jazz Spazz

    Jazz Spazz Inconceivable Staff Member

    9,491
    2,091
    263
    Aug 25, 2010
    First of all I would upgrade to a premium member here, and then I would institute every idea presented here.

    This is after all where all the good coaching ideas come from.
     
  18. addictionary

    addictionary Well-Known Member

    13,163
    1,492
    228
    Mar 21, 2012
    Noted down to rep later.
     
  19. kabenac

    kabenac Well-Known Member

    5,448
    1,494
    228
    May 26, 2010
    Sounds good to me! You can be the coach, but please wear the Predator alien suit while coaching. And if we go on a losing streak, I'll sign Latrell Spreewell, because it would be cool to see him choking the Predator alien during practice (you could heal yourself).


     
  20. kwb

    kwb Well-Known Member

    1,242
    178
    63
    May 26, 2010
    I wouldn't say anything. I would just keep doing what I'm doing and get paid.
     

Share This Page