Longest Thread Ever

[babe]

Like the NBA, there are only a few true contenders. To displace one of us takes serious commitment. I recommend quitting your job and moving back in with your parents so you can post full-time.

unfortunately, no long an option. My parents are in forgotten and undisturbed graves I couldn't even find if I went looking. . . .

I work for myself, and my wife. . . . . which reminds me I have some chores to do.

but I will prevail, if only because I know how to allocate resources effectively. . . . .

and maybe I will sneakily delegate some of my "work" to my "employees" or something. . . ..

I will have to research the methods of PKM. I'm sure there is a way to increase my earnings and my rank in here.

 

[Bronco70]

TOP 5

Least likely causes of death, to JazzFanz posters:

5. Exhaustion brought on by relentless thread browsing trying to find a PKM post.

4. Being squeezed to death, accidentally caught in the middle of a Colton/Cyrone Torbin hug.

3. Snapped neck due to vigorous head nodding in agreement with a DutchJazzer post.

2. Trampled by stampeding fans, rushing to get Marvin William's autograph.

1. Heart failure attributed to over excitement during the Utah Jazz championship parade.

Feel free to contribute your own.

 

[babe]

Like the NBA, there are only a few true contenders. To displace one of us takes serious commitment. I recommend quitting your job and moving back in with your parents so you can post full-time.

and yah gotta remember, though I'm the oldest contributor in here, I consider it feasible to outlive anyone who drinks, has a hankering for beautiful babes, or even food beyond what is just good fun. My vice is a simple OCD as harmless as typing on an electronic board. While little is known about how this will affect lognevity, I will also get up and so do some real cardio work on a regular basis, and eat some relatively natural food.. . . like grapes from the vine, apples from the tree, and hamburger made from my own grass-fed cows. . . .

I've got some time to outlast the merely distracted and bored of the youthful generation. . . .

 

[Stifle Tower]

Feel free to contribute your own.

Blunt force trauma caused by a hard foul from Big Al.

 

[nightmare3983]

TOP 5

Least likely causes of death, to JazzFanz posters:

5. Exhaustion brought on by relentless thread browsing trying to find a PKM post.

4. Being squeezed to death, accidentally caught in the middle of a Colton/Cyrone Torbin hug.

3. Snapped neck due to vigorous head nodding in agreement with a DutchJazzer post.

2. Trampled by stampeding fans, rushing to get Marvin William's autograph.

1. Heart failure attributed to over excitement during the Utah Jazz championship parade.

Feel free to contribute your own.

Those are good. I would rep if I could.

 

[babe]

I have incoming photos attached to texts blocked on my phone from Trout.

Nice to know he's still interested in our party.

 

[babe]

TOP 5

Least likely causes of death, to JazzFanz posters:

5. Exhaustion brought on by relentless thread browsing trying to find a PKM post.

4. Being squeezed to death, accidentally caught in the middle of a Colton/Cyrone Torbin hug.

3. Snapped neck due to vigorous head nodding in agreement with a DutchJazzer post.

2. Trampled by stampeding fans, rushing to get Marvin William's autograph.

1. Heart failure attributed to over excitement during the Utah Jazz championship parade.

Feel free to contribute your own.

This post alone makes this entire thread not just worthwhile, but maybe even the best ever.

Wit.

 

[Jazz Spazz]

TOP 5

Least likely causes of death, to JazzFanz posters:

5. Exhaustion brought on by relentless thread browsing trying to find a PKM post.

4. Being squeezed to death, accidentally caught in the middle of a Colton/Cyrone Torbin hug.

3. Snapped neck due to vigorous head nodding in agreement with a DutchJazzer post.

2. Trampled by stampeding fans, rushing to get Marvin William's autograph.

1. Heart failure attributed to over excitement during the Utah Jazz championship parade.

Feel free to contribute your own.

Blunt force trauma caused by a hard foul from Big Al.

And then the least likely truths learned at:

Judgement day
- we find out there was not a single alt.
- GVC, OneBrow, Nate, PKM, NAOS, and SirKicky were kidding around and are Mormons.
- jazzman12, Ugli, Bronco, and Whittingham were actually BYU fans.
- there was actually no "quest for perfection" that one year.
- All of Kentuky's championships are all legit with absolutely no cheating or breaking rules.
- we find out CJ Miles actually would have had a huge break out year if he stayed one more year.
- Karl Malone can actually speak perfect English.
- The truth comes out that the young players actually develop better after a few years on the bench.
- It becomes official that Corbin is actually the best coach in the NBA.
- franklin has never tasted a drop of alcohol in his life.
- vizzini did not actually come from a long line of starting wars, because none of them actually succeeded.
- every post on Jazzfanz adds a day to your life.

 

[Bronco70]

And then the least likely truths learned at:

Judgement day
- we find out there was not a single alt.
- GVC, OneBrow, Nate, PKM, NAOS, and SirKicky were kidding around and are Mormons.
- jazzman12, Ugli, Bronco, and Whittingham were actually BYU fans.
- there was actually no "quest for perfection" that one year.
- All of Kentuky's championships are all legit with absolutely no cheating or breaking rules.
- we find out CJ Miles actually would have had a huge break out year if he stayed one more year.
- Karl Malone can actually speak perfect English.
- The truth comes out that the young players actually develop better after a few years on the bench.
- It becomes official that Corbin is actually the best coach in the NBA.
- franklin has never tasted a drop of alcohol in his life.
- vizzini did not actually come from a long line of starting wars, because none of them actually succeeded.
- every post on Jazzfanz adds a day to your life.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JazzSpazz again.

 

[nightmare3983]

And then the least likely truths learned at:

Judgement day
- we find out there was not a single alt.
- GVC, OneBrow, Nate, PKM, NAOS, and SirKicky were kidding around and are Mormons.
- jazzman12, Ugli, Bronco, and Whittingham were actually BYU fans.
- there was actually no "quest for perfection" that one year.
- All of Kentuky's championships are all legit with absolutely no cheating or breaking rules.
- we find out CJ Miles actually would have had a huge break out year if he stayed one more year.
- Karl Malone can actually speak perfect English.
- The truth comes out that the young players actually develop better after a few years on the bench.
- It becomes official that Corbin is actually the best coach in the NBA.
- franklin has never tasted a drop of alcohol in his life.
- vizzini did not actually come from a long line of starting wars, because none of them actually succeeded.
- every post on Jazzfanz adds a day to your life.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to JazzSpazz again.

Someone has to be able to rep this greatness. I'm banking on that last one being true.

 

[Stifle Tower]

Definitely owe rep to Bronco and jazzspazz. Will try to remember once I'm able to rep again.

 

[UGLI baby]

Where's HeavenlyReps™ when you need it?