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Quick Recipe, yo?

TroutBum

TroutBum

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I know we have a lot of fat people on this board who love to cook and eat. I'm very much part of the latter and can eat like a hog at a trough, but I can't cook worth a crap. I can follow a recipe easily enough, but I don't have an eye/nose/taste for a good recipe. So here I am, asking my fellow fatties for some help.

I have to cook a meal for four adults and two kids, ages 3 and 6. It needs to be quick and easy, but at the same time, more than just a box of Mac n' Cheese. I will be heading to the grocery store in a few hours, so I can pick up anything I need and I probably have every cooking utensil I need. Would you all mind sharing some of your favorite easy meals? The girls are picky, so it might be best to stay away from steaks, onions, mushrooms, etc. -- you know, the stuff that they don't like only because their mom told them it's gross and that will take them 20 years before they realize how delicious most of it is.

If you have links to a recipe, that would work as well.

Thanks in advance, friends.

Elvis J. Wells
 
Soup Recipe
By admin
September 28, 2012 Uncategorized

Recipe for Poop Soup!

Many of you have asked for this special recipe that makes you go poo. Here it is…I make this when I come home off the road, to cleanse the system and get a fresh start.

I go to Trader Joe’s and get my veggies pre-cut in bags – it’s just easier that way. But you can get these ingredients at any reputable grocery store.

Ingredients: Soup stock (chicken or beef usually one big container of), green onions, garlic, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, peas, red pepper – and for extra cleansing strength I put in kale. Now, the kale really cleans you out. So be prepared for results if you use it. But you can also use Swiss chard or cabbage to get the same results.

Chop up everything, throw it into a large pot and let it all boil – but not for too long. No more than 10 minutes of boiling, otherwise your veggies get too mushy. I also like to add a little Vietnamese hoison sauce for flavor and some chili hot sauce as well. The soup itself can be a little bland, so add seasoning to your liking. Also a dollop of sour cream can really make things exciting. Usually two bowls does the trick, you’ll see results pretty quick! It’s a filling, healthy soup that gets the job done. Oh and eat this soup alone or with someone who knows you really well, you’ll be tooting up a storm.

Lemme know if you make this recipe and if you added anything, I like to change it up!

https://yourmomshousepodcast.com/poop-soup-recipe/
 
1 lb sliced bologna
2 Tbsp grated onion
1 8oz pkg cream cheese, softened
1 Tbsp worchestershire sauce
1 pkg ritz crackers

Directions
1
Mix softened cream cheese, onion and Worcestershire sauce.
Beat well.
2
Place a slice of bologna on a plate, spread cheese mix on.
Repeat process until all bologna is used.
Ice like a cake with rest of cheese mixture.
3
Cool in refrigerator.
Slice in thin slices and serve on crackers.

https://www.justapinch.com/recipes/appetizer/meat-appetizer/bologna-cake.html
 
There was an old lady on my mission that would make the missionaries "Rood Stew". You boiled 1lb noodles in water with 1lb of ground beef. When the noodles were done, you don't drain the noodles, but instead mix in frozen veggies and dump enough Ketchup in so you can't taste anything.

My stomach turns just thinking about it.
 
E.J. Wells said:
I know we have a lot of fat people on this board who love to cook and eat. I'm very much part of the latter and can eat like a hog at a trough, but I can't cook worth a crap. I can follow a recipe easily enough, but I don't have an eye/nose/taste for a good recipe. So here I am, asking my fellow fatties for some help.

I have to cook a meal for four adults and two kids, ages 3 and 6. It needs to be quick and easy, but at the same time, more than just a box of Mac n' Cheese. I will be heading to the grocery store in a few hours, so I can pick up anything I need and I probably have every cooking utensil I need. Would you all mind sharing some of your favorite easy meals? The girls are picky, so it might be best to stay away from steaks, onions, mushrooms, etc. -- you know, the stuff that they don't like only because their mom told them it's gross and that will take them 20 years before they realize how delicious most of it is.

If you have links to a recipe, that would work as well.

Thanks in advance, friends.

Elvis J. Wells
Click to expand...

Pork Chops with a balsamic reduction
-- 2 cups of balsamic vinnegar boiled down to 1 cup(add sugar if not sweet enough)
-- Season pork chops with salt/pepper, and sear until ONLY JUST done(dry pork is terribad)
-- Drizzle balsamic reduction over finished pork
Alfredo sauce/pasta
-- Sautee Tbsp butter with about two cloves of minced garlic
-- Add Tbsp Flour, and cook for one miute
-- Slowly stir in one-two pints of heavy cream and bring to a boil
-- Slowly stir in 1/2 - 1 cup grated parmesean(from the cheese area, not parmesean easy grated crap)
-- As soon as it becomes all one consistency, lower to warm
Salad(buy at the store) with ranch dressing made from buttermilk, a ranch packet, and mayo
-- Ranch is SOOOOOOOO much better made this way. Like, WAY better
Loaf of bread and fresh, real butter
-- Buy at the store
"Dry" Jello Salad
-- 1 lb cottage cheese
-- Add 1 3.0 oz (the small one) of dry jello and mix well
-- Add 1 cup of whipped topping(Cool Whip) and mix
-- Add Diced fruit(or whole, incase of rasberries) or fruit cocktail and mix
 
Oh... probably a good idea not to suck at cooking. So start there, then make dinner.
 
-bag of pita bread.
-jar/can of tomato sauce or BBQ sauce or whatever flavor u desire
-ground beef, chicken, peppeoni, can of black olives or whatever toppings u desire
-cheese

plop n spread some o dat der sauce on pita bread. apply toppings. bake. enjoy.

bonus: hummus dip for dippin pita pizza crusts. this is quick, easy, lil to no mess. and everyone loves pizza, and u can make it classy w/ the toppings or make it a regular joe meal wit regular stuff.

-People's Champ HH
 
Mac n Cheese, can of tuner fish, can of cream of mushroom (or other cream soup) soup. Make the mac n cheese leaving the noodles a tiny bit underdone (not quite al dente). Mix the tuner fish, soup (do not make the soup, just straight out of the can), and mac n cheese and put in an oven-safe dish. Sprinkle top with french fried onion strings (like on green bean casserole at thanksgiving) or potato chip crumbs, or even crushed salad croutons. Sprinkle with some cheese as well. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes, until the interior gets hot and the cheese/crumbs get golden brown and crunnchy (nicely melted with some color for the cheese). Serve with steamed broccoli. You can mix in veggies as you like: I like peas and lima beans, or broccoli and cauliflower chopped up. Can be made with canned or cut up left over chicken instead of tuner fish. Can also add a pacakage of instant onion soup mix to enhance the flavor.
 
Go to Myung Ga and make them load you up with their BBQ. Then do a little "fancy" rice recipe yourself, some corn, make a dessert, and pass everything off as yours.
 
I like the suggestions so far fellas, keep it up! We had pork chops last night, and Mac n cheese for lunch. Remember, the little girls are picky, so these Chinese BBQ and onion laced recipes prolly won't work, although they all sound delicious.
 
green said:
What, no mention of my **** stew or bologna cake?
Click to expand...

The pooh stew is actually something I'm going to make later this week. Good call. The bologna cake sounds/looks like something my dog passed last time she was pregnant.
 
Make an adult meal and throw some chicken nuggets in the oven for the money-sucking picky midgets.
 
Cook 2 cups of white rice per the instructions on the box/bag. Leave it not quite done, but not crunchy. Mix with one can of cream soup (I like mushroom). Brown 1 lb of ground beef in a pan. Mix into the rice/soup mix. Pour into casserole dish or other oven-safe dish. Top with crunchy chow mein noodles and cheese. Bake at 350 until bubbly inside and the noodles/cheese take on some color and crunch (1/2 hour or so). Serve with lemon pepper. Again can mix in one packet of instant french onion soup or similar. It doesn't make it taste like onion at all, especially since there are no onions in the recipe, but adds some nice flavor to it. Can add veggies as desired. Again I like broccoli, or peas, or even canned corn.

Or serve pancakes for dinner. Can be a nice twist.

Creamed eggs on toast. Boil a dozen eggs. Peel and chop into grape sized pieces. Make a basic cream sauce any recipe will do. Like this one:

https://www.finecooking.com/recipes/basic-cream-sauce.aspx

Then stir the eggs into the cream sauce. Salt and pepper to taste. Make toast and cut into triangles. Place 3-4 triangles on a plate and top with the creamed eggs. Serve with leafy greens, but I like it with steamed spinach, which can also be mixed in.
 
Make sloppy joes, easy with a pound or 2 of ground beef and a can or 2 of manwich sauce.
 
You could make pulled pork, but that is more involved if you are going to do it right.
 
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