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Thoughts and prayers requested

I’m sorry you guys are going through this. Hope for the best. Where are you guys going for health care? I know that the Huntsman institute does miracles.
 
LogGrad98 said:
As much as it's worth, I'll take what I can get. My wife goes in for surgery in 2 days, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and is set for a hysterectomy on Thursday. It's brought back lots of memories and discussion from my own cancer treatment now 27 years ago. They said the scans look like it's likely stage 1 but her blood test showed "extremely" high (the doctor's words) markers for ovarian cancer so it is likely to either be stage 1 or stage 3, but the scans don't show immediate signs of metastasizing, so we are hopeful it's stage 1.

And now especially in our 34th year of marriage it's a tough thing when the thought hits me of what if it's worse than we think. I can't imagine my life without her. We were 21 and 23 when we got married. Too young by far. But apparently it's worked out. And to think of everything we've been through in those years we are so far removed from who we were back then. It's kind of amazing we've made it work this long, especially with what an obvious ******* I am. She means so much to me. I can't lose her.

I hope I can do her some justice as her caregiver when she has been mine so much over the years. She keeps me going through everything we've been through. I'll give her the best I have to offer.

Anyway don't mean to get maudlin about it but my emotions have been so up and down over the past few weeks since we got the diagnosis. So keep her in your thoughts if you can. She means the world to me. We both recently left the LDS church, well for me it's been a few years but very recent for her, and we talked about how much comfort religion brought in times like this even though we both know it to be a sham now. But it did feel like you were invoking a higher power to put your hands on someone and bless them in the name of God, and it did bring comfort. Now where does the comfort come from?

So I thought I'd invoke the comfort of jazz fanz. Goddamn how pathetic is that? lol

Any thoughts or prayers or whatever you believe would be appreciated. Or just wish us luck.

Thanks for listening. Maybe I just needed to rant about this all for a bit but I do feel a bit better.
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Wow man, heavy. We'll be here for you if you need anything, Log. Don't hesitate to use this place if you find it helpful. Give my best to your wife and let her know we are thinking of her and thankful for her helping your dumb *** along all these years.
 
Thank you all so much for the kind words. It's been a terrible roller coaster. They did updated scans and found a spot on her pancreas so the surgery just got upgraded. Here I am trying to get to sleep so I can be ready to take her in the morning and I can't get my brain to settle down. We are still hopeful. The dr said the spots could be cancer and could also be a variety of other things and that she and the radiologist both don't think they look like typical cancer nodules in the pancreas but we won't know until they get in there. Today my wife was really happy, felt really optimistic, and I did my best to enjoy that with her and not drag her down, and I think I did pretty good keeping a lid on my worry. I hope she continues to feel that way. My work has been stellar about all this. My boss more or less said take any time I need to take care of her. He said "if you show up one day I'll assume you are at work that day, if you don't, I'll assume you're at home that day. It's up to you but I promise you the paychecks will keep coming no matter what and you won't have to worry about a job here." Fantastic guy. Best boss I've ever had.

And again, thank you all for the great comments and well wishes. It does help sometimes to know you are not alone, even if it is just a bunch of Internet whackos, at least you know someone has your back. Thanks so much. I'll update here when we get more info after the surgery. I'm happy to be part of such a great community here. Love you guys.
 
LogGrad98 said:
Thank you all so much for the kind words. It's been a terrible roller coaster. They did updated scans and found a spot on her pancreas so the surgery just got upgraded. Here I am trying to get to sleep so I can be ready to take her in the morning and I can't get my brain to settle down. We are still hopeful. The dr said the spots could be cancer and could also be a variety of other things and that she and the radiologist both don't think they look like typical cancer nodules in the pancreas but we won't know until they get in there. Today my wife was really happy, felt really optimistic, and I did my best to enjoy that with her and not drag her down, and I think I did pretty good keeping a lid on my worry. I hope she continues to feel that way. My work has been stellar about all this. My boss more or less said take any time I need to take care of her. He said "if you show up one day I'll assume you are at work that day, if you don't, I'll assume you're at home that day. It's up to you but I promise you the paychecks will keep coming no matter what and you won't have to worry about a job here." Fantastic guy. Best boss I've ever had.

And again, thank you all for the great comments and well wishes. It does help sometimes to know you are not alone, even if it is just a bunch of Internet whackos, at least you know someone has your back. Thanks so much. I'll update here when we get more info after the surgery. I'm happy to be part of such a great community here. Love you guys.
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Keep your chin up mate. Its great that your boss is being supportive too, makes a huge difference. Just keep the positive vibes going brother.
 
Well the first surgery was really short, because when they got in there to do the hysterectomy they found that the cancer was all over inside her abdomen. The doctor said all the way from the diaphragm to her pelvis. It was all over her colon bladder and pancreas. They said instead of trying to dig it all out, she will instead start with chemotherapy next week, which the doctor seemed hopeful would clean up a lot of the stray cancer nodules, and shrink the bulk of the main tumor, so the next surgery would be much more successful. Definitely was a blow to hear that what we thought was a localized tumor was actually all over. It's exactly a situation like that that killed my wife's mother. Right now she's sleeping off the anesthesia, so she isn't dealing with the full brunt of the news yet. I'm not excited to tell her.

The good news is that the doctor said she has seen cases like this be successfully treated, and getting the patient to a point where they're in remission and might do low level chemotherapy for the rest of their life, or for an extended period of time, to keep the cancer in check. She said it's very difficult before they get the biopsy back to really give a prognosis, but she said if she had to she would give her a good prognosis, a good chance of getting this to remission. But it will take some difficult chemo, and further surgery, maybe even more than we expected, like a hysterectomy combined with a bowel resection, or removing parts of other organs. The good thing is she was able to see the extent of the disease in situ, and get good biopsies of the tumor and of the nodules that are all over inside her abdomen. I really hope the doctors positivity is not misplaced. I guess that's all I can do right now is Hope. But this doctor is at the forefront of gynecologic oncology, as its own field. I know she has been doing this as long as just about anyone in the country, as its own specialty. So I think we have the right people working on it. And I know from my own cancer experience that is a critical aspect of recovery. When I was diagnosed my kind of cancer was so rare my doctor could only find four other cases in the past 20 years and all of those did not survive. He did find one case that did survive, and it just so happened that the doctor who worked on that case took over my case as he was working at the huntsman Cancer Institute at the time. So having a doctor like that taking care of my wife definitely raises my hopes.
 
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I'm glad you have the right people paying attention to this. You know better than the rest of us how challenging this is going to be. We'll be here for you, m'friend. <3
 
LogGrad98 said:
Well the first surgery was really short, because when they got in there to do the hysterectomy they found that the cancer was all over inside her abdomen. The doctor said all the way from the diaphragm to her pelvis. It was all over her colon bladder and pancreas. They said instead of trying to dig it all out, she will instead start with chemotherapy next week, which the doctor seemed hopeful would clean up a lot of the stray cancer nodules, and shrink the bulk of the main tumor, so the next surgery would be much more successful. Definitely was a blow to hear that what we thought was a localized tumor was actually all over. It's exactly a situation like that that killed my wife's mother. Right now she's sleeping off the anesthesia, so she isn't dealing with the full brunt of the news yet. I'm not excited to tell her.

The good news is that the doctor said she has seen cases like this be successfully treated, and getting the patient to a point where they're in remission and might do low level chemotherapy for the rest of their life, or for an extended period of time, to keep the cancer in check. She said it's very difficult before they get the biopsy back to really give a prognosis, but she said if she had to she would give her a good prognosis, a good chance of getting this to remission. But it will take some difficult chemo, and further surgery, maybe even more than we expected, like a hysterectomy combined with a bowel resection, or removing parts of other organs. The good thing is she was able to see the extent of the disease in situ, and get good biopsies of the tumor and of the nodules that are all over inside her abdomen. I really hope the doctors positivity is not misplaced. I guess that's all I can do right now is Hope. But this doctor is at the forefront of gynecologic oncology, as its own field. I know she has been doing this as long as just about anyone in the country, as its own specialty. So I think we have the right people working on it. And I know from my own cancer experience that is a critical aspect of recovery. When I was diagnosed my kind of cancer was so rare my doctor could only find four other cases in the past 20 years and all of those did not survive. He did find one case that did survive, and it just so happened that the doctor who worked on that case took over my case as he was working at the huntsman Cancer Institute at the time. So having a doctor like that taking care of my wife definitely raises my hopes.
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Damn bro, that was hard to read. I didn't want to read "the cancer was all over inside her abdomen"
Sorry man. Hope that things get better but all I can say is that I feel for you.
 
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