Three Things That Have Happened To You
- Thread starter Stoked
- Start date
You don't post much for me to remember anything about you. Not being a dick, it's actually a compliment that you're not a drama queen.... Anyway, I just recalled that you're the dude who went to Philly and posted a kick *** thread about it.
I'm really writing this because *sometimes* posts like this have to be validates as from a real dude.
Farmer.Tan
Well-Known Member
No...it literally happened. At least if Wilt is telling the truth. Because my numbers aren't fudged at all.
so who got the front and who got the back? or did you alternate?
In chronological order...
1. I spent 7 of my first 21 years living in Europe (Austria and Germany). Bonus item: while a kid in Austria I got to participate in the "Cub Scout Olympics", held in the Olympic stadium in Munich. There were probably around 500 cub scouts participating and I think I won a gold medal and three bronzes. Pretty much the pinnacle of my athletic prowess. Go figure.
2. In high school I had a very high GPA, did extremely well on the SAT, had taken many AP classes and got nearly all 5's on the AP exams. Thinking I was bound for Harvard or MIT or someplace like that, I (somewhat jokingly) told my parents, "If God wants me to go to BYU I'll get a full ride scholarship there, and I won't get in anywhere else." That's exactly what happened. So I went to BYU.
3. I was once prevented from getting into an elevator by James Brown's bodyguard. I didn't actually know that's why the guy wouldn't let me on until after the elevator doors closed and the person standing next to me said, "Did you see that? That was James Brown in the elevator!"
1. I spent 7 of my first 21 years living in Europe (Austria and Germany). Bonus item: while a kid in Austria I got to participate in the "Cub Scout Olympics", held in the Olympic stadium in Munich. There were probably around 500 cub scouts participating and I think I won a gold medal and three bronzes. Pretty much the pinnacle of my athletic prowess. Go figure.
2. In high school I had a very high GPA, did extremely well on the SAT, had taken many AP classes and got nearly all 5's on the AP exams. Thinking I was bound for Harvard or MIT or someplace like that, I (somewhat jokingly) told my parents, "If God wants me to go to BYU I'll get a full ride scholarship there, and I won't get in anywhere else." That's exactly what happened. So I went to BYU.
3. I was once prevented from getting into an elevator by James Brown's bodyguard. I didn't actually know that's why the guy wouldn't let me on until after the elevator doors closed and the person standing next to me said, "Did you see that? That was James Brown in the elevator!"
In chronological order...
1. I spent 7 of my first 21 years living in Europe (Austria and Germany). Bonus item: while a kid in Austria I got to participate in the "Cub Scout Olympics", held in the Olympic stadium in Munich. There were probably around 500 cub scouts participating and I think I won a gold medal and three bronzes. Pretty much the pinnacle of my athletic prowess. Go figure.
2. In high school I had a very high GPA, did extremely well on the SAT, had taken many AP classes and got nearly all 5's on the AP exams. Thinking I was bound for Harvard or MIT or someplace like that, I (somewhat jokingly) told my parents, "If God wants me to go to BYU I'll get a full ride scholarship there, and I won't get in anywhere else." That's exactly what happened. So I went to BYU.
3. I was once prevented from getting into an elevator by James Brown's bodyguard. I didn't actually know that's why the guy wouldn't let me on until after the elevator doors closed and the person standing next to me said, "Did you see that? That was James Brown in the elevator!"
Unfortunately, I hereby limit you to only two items. Choose wisely. I'll judge.
UGLI baby
Well-Known Member
1) Peed my pants when I was in 7th grade at a Youth Campout trip thing while snowboarding at Powder Mtn. It was like my 5th time snowboarding and I thought I was a bawse (cuz I was). I had to pee way bad and had no idea where the lodge was, so I decided to just go off into the trees. Powder was deep, and I ended up falling and getting stuck. I was trapped and struggling to get out, and I couldn't hold it anymore.
A voice popped into my head, "just let it go man." So let it go I did.
I felt instant relief, but felt wet and weird the rest of the day obvi. When we got back to our cabins I sprayed a ton of Tommy Hilfiger Cologne on the pants to cover up the pee smell. Didn't work lol. Decided while doing this that I should just spray tonz of cologne on all of my snowboarding stuff to give it a matching scent (or smthng) horrible horrible idea.
2) When I was like 8 years old I jumped into my Grandpas Golf Cart he had parked in his garage and pretended like I was driving it. The golf cart was on and charging, and when I hit the gas the cart went flying into the wall and destroyed all of the cabinetry and the wall. Also destroyed my sisters rollerblades in the process.
3) When I was like 21 I was in Las Vegas, Nevada, heavily intoxicated, and met this babe at like 4 AM and was like, "hey lets go to eat somewhere"
and she was like "nah"
and I was like, "Lets go to a nice buffet"
and she was like, "Ok whatever but it better be nice".
I had about $35 left (dat Vegas doe) and so I told her to wait where she was and I would be back in 2 minutes and we'd go get some food. During these 2 minutes I made my way to Casino War to quickly double up and have enough cash for 2 buffets. I lost, and was left with $0 USD.
I came back and was like, "Ok, we're good to go."
Much to this gals dismay, we walked straight to McDonalds, and I went inside and asked a woman if she would pls buy a down on his luck guy like me a Sausage McMuffin. She obliged, and even agreed to deliver it to me and my sweetie outside when it was ready.
As I sat there sharing a McMuffin on the curb with a kind of mad girl, I couldn't help but think to myself, "This sucks."
Then, EVERYTHING changed.
A black Bentley 4 door pulled into the Mickey D's parking lot directly in front of us, and out popped none other than Rasheed Wallace. RASHEED MF'in WALLACE!!! Of all the Mcdonalds's in all the Las Vegas's, he came waltzing into mine at 4 in the AM.
I went semi-bezerk (dat booze doe) yelling Sheed's name, asking for high fives, doing an announcer voice thing...RASHEEEEEEEED WALLLLLLLAAAACCCEEEEEE!!!!!
Sheed didn't give me the time of day, I think some dude in his entourage threatened me, and only one other dude in all of the restaurant even knew who Sheed was, but needless to say still one of the 3 GREATEST STORIES OF MY LIFE!!!
Also.....
Made out with that girl and pretty sure she gave me Mono.
*BONUS STORY* I've got 2 holes in one in golf and no matter what, Colton can never reduce, cap, or otherwise take those away from me!!!
A voice popped into my head, "just let it go man." So let it go I did.
I felt instant relief, but felt wet and weird the rest of the day obvi. When we got back to our cabins I sprayed a ton of Tommy Hilfiger Cologne on the pants to cover up the pee smell. Didn't work lol. Decided while doing this that I should just spray tonz of cologne on all of my snowboarding stuff to give it a matching scent (or smthng) horrible horrible idea.
2) When I was like 8 years old I jumped into my Grandpas Golf Cart he had parked in his garage and pretended like I was driving it. The golf cart was on and charging, and when I hit the gas the cart went flying into the wall and destroyed all of the cabinetry and the wall. Also destroyed my sisters rollerblades in the process.
3) When I was like 21 I was in Las Vegas, Nevada, heavily intoxicated, and met this babe at like 4 AM and was like, "hey lets go to eat somewhere"
and she was like "nah"
and I was like, "Lets go to a nice buffet"
and she was like, "Ok whatever but it better be nice".
I had about $35 left (dat Vegas doe) and so I told her to wait where she was and I would be back in 2 minutes and we'd go get some food. During these 2 minutes I made my way to Casino War to quickly double up and have enough cash for 2 buffets. I lost, and was left with $0 USD.
I came back and was like, "Ok, we're good to go."
Much to this gals dismay, we walked straight to McDonalds, and I went inside and asked a woman if she would pls buy a down on his luck guy like me a Sausage McMuffin. She obliged, and even agreed to deliver it to me and my sweetie outside when it was ready.
As I sat there sharing a McMuffin on the curb with a kind of mad girl, I couldn't help but think to myself, "This sucks."
Then, EVERYTHING changed.
A black Bentley 4 door pulled into the Mickey D's parking lot directly in front of us, and out popped none other than Rasheed Wallace. RASHEED MF'in WALLACE!!! Of all the Mcdonalds's in all the Las Vegas's, he came waltzing into mine at 4 in the AM.
I went semi-bezerk (dat booze doe) yelling Sheed's name, asking for high fives, doing an announcer voice thing...RASHEEEEEEEED WALLLLLLLAAAACCCEEEEEE!!!!!
Sheed didn't give me the time of day, I think some dude in his entourage threatened me, and only one other dude in all of the restaurant even knew who Sheed was, but needless to say still one of the 3 GREATEST STORIES OF MY LIFE!!!
Also.....
Made out with that girl and pretty sure she gave me Mono.
*BONUS STORY* I've got 2 holes in one in golf and no matter what, Colton can never reduce, cap, or otherwise take those away from me!!!
i tried..
Nearly pooped my pants just now trying to find my lighter so I could smoke a bowl while pooping.
Like within seconds of pooped pants.
One time I bounced this pretty hot chick and her weird friend outta duh club. I was married & was doing this to to get some friends laid. I'm an upright good dude like that. I actually thought they were lesbian lovers at first, so you know I had to find out for sure. Turns out they were sisters. Turns out the hot chick and her sister both wanted the d pretty bad and I needed an excuse to get away without offending my new guests at my friend's house. It was January and like 25 below freezing with six feet of snow on the ground, and I came up with this genius excuse that I was a national fire fighter and just got called out to a forest fire in California. Faked the phone call and all, and had the ride set up to shuffle me off to the airport.
Now I've left the sisters hot and bothered, and the hot one obliges my intentions by screwing my buddy. She heads with him up to his stinky *** room and immediately pukes from the stench.
Now I've left the sisters hot and bothered, and the hot one obliges my intentions by screwing my buddy. She heads with him up to his stinky *** room and immediately pukes from the stench.