For the first time ever, I'm going to write a post as if it was actually going to be read by the player I'm talking about:
Gordon,
You signed a trade kicker with Charlotte, braugh? You ****ing serious? You'll be rich as ****, but you better thank your lucky stars that the Utah Jazz matched and saved you from being stuck in maggot-infested pile.
Now, despite the fact that you have some weird holes in your game (can't drive; can't shoot off the dribble), I actually like a lot of the things you do. Hi-five.
How the **** did you get a max contract? Why the **** did you marry an eighteen-year old just to get back at your ex-girlfriend? I'm much older than you, and I'd like to tell you to get over it and earn that check. I was mad when they matched and I'd like not to be.
Cheers,
NAOS