LogGrad98
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Some medical issues can wreak havoc on your body on ways you might not expect. I developed "vomiting" diarrhea (explanation forthcoming), as it came to be known, when I was working through a particularly bad bout of pneumonia involving multiple antibiotics. We were having dinner at our house with some of my wife's family who came to visit us while I was sick, spaghetti I believe. I had that gurgly tummy going on and had already squirted some pure liquid streams at a fairly alarming velocity. One even hit the back of the toilet and carried over out under the toilet seat spraying the wall and back of the toilet with a nice greenish brown shade.
Well I thought I had it pretty much under control while we were eating, but about halfway through dinner I felt the ole stomach starting to bubble again. I could tell this was something different as the cramping set in full force. I stood to excuse myself, turned part way around to leave the room, and stumbled a little over the chair leg, catching myself at exactly the wrong angle, when my colon vomited, and I mean a totally involuntary, violently cramping spastic spray of fecal hell at an alarming rate of both speed and volume. It came clean through the sweat pants I was wearing, and exited in a fine mist that coated the table, chairs, food, dishes, and the people on the other side of the table in that same earthy greenish brown. It was punctuated with spurts of gas that seemed to accelerate the rush of liquid poo and cause splattering that managed to hit about a 160 degree radius from the point of exit. I felt like my intestines were being ripped out of me with a treble hook.
It continued as I tried to run down the hall, shooting down my pant leg coloring my socks and leaving little greenish puddly footprints everywhere I stepped. Ironically, it appeared my colon had shot its entire wad by the time I got to the actual toilet and all I could muster was a few little farts and a minor squirt. It was a 2 hour job for 3 people to clean it all up, especially considering it triggered more than one bout of regular vomit from our "guests". The incident is still spoken of in awe to this day, if spoken of at all.
If there is any consolation, apparently my father-in-law caught it full-on in the face while taking a bite of spaghetti. Gotta appreciate the little things sometimes.
Well I thought I had it pretty much under control while we were eating, but about halfway through dinner I felt the ole stomach starting to bubble again. I could tell this was something different as the cramping set in full force. I stood to excuse myself, turned part way around to leave the room, and stumbled a little over the chair leg, catching myself at exactly the wrong angle, when my colon vomited, and I mean a totally involuntary, violently cramping spastic spray of fecal hell at an alarming rate of both speed and volume. It came clean through the sweat pants I was wearing, and exited in a fine mist that coated the table, chairs, food, dishes, and the people on the other side of the table in that same earthy greenish brown. It was punctuated with spurts of gas that seemed to accelerate the rush of liquid poo and cause splattering that managed to hit about a 160 degree radius from the point of exit. I felt like my intestines were being ripped out of me with a treble hook.
It continued as I tried to run down the hall, shooting down my pant leg coloring my socks and leaving little greenish puddly footprints everywhere I stepped. Ironically, it appeared my colon had shot its entire wad by the time I got to the actual toilet and all I could muster was a few little farts and a minor squirt. It was a 2 hour job for 3 people to clean it all up, especially considering it triggered more than one bout of regular vomit from our "guests". The incident is still spoken of in awe to this day, if spoken of at all.
If there is any consolation, apparently my father-in-law caught it full-on in the face while taking a bite of spaghetti. Gotta appreciate the little things sometimes.
