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I just want someone to help me make sense out of Utah liquor laws.

Gameface

Gameface

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Is there a good reason why I can't purchase a keg of beer?

Is there a good reason why I can't order a double jack and coke?

Is there a good reason why I can't purchase a mini-bottle?

Is there a good reason why wine coolers are only sold at the liquor store?

Is there a good reason why beer is limited to 3.2% abw (4% abv)?

Does this make any sense?
By Associated Press
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- Utah law already outlaws happy hours, but a proposed bill in the Utah Legislature would also eliminate all-day drink specials.

Republican Sen. John Valentine of Orem says Senate Bill 314 would ban bars from offering discounted drinks.

The bill could pass the Legislature on Wednesday.

State law doesn't permit bars to offer temporary specials because lawmakers say it encourages the overconsumption of alcohol. Valentine says a special offered all day can also encourage excessive drinking. Valentine says bars could still offer daily food specials.

The bill includes many other changes to Utah's liquor laws.

Single drinks could be served through hotel room service. Previously, only unopened bottles of wine or liquor were offered by room service.

It would increase the number of restaurant licenses, but not bar licenses.
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I like to say liquor laws in Utah are like gun laws in D.C., they are made by people who consider the item evil and unnecessary and who don't know anything about them.
 
Now that HB 477 has passed, I expect a few more quirky liquor laws to be railroaded through.
 
Buy good beer at the liquor store. The Devastator is the best thing to come out of Utah since Cytherea.
 
Is there a good reason why I can't purchase a keg of beer?

Is there a good reason why I can't order a double jack and coke?

Is there a good reason why I can't purchase a mini-bottle?

Is there a good reason why wine coolers are only sold at the liquor store?

Is there a good reason why beer is limited to 3.2% abw (4% abv)?
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Besides feeling like people who believe in an insane, deranged, blasphemous to Christianity, clear as day fantasy are using said insanity as an excuse to hold faux moral authority over us normals, the average Utah liquor law doesn't affect me much. They insult me, but don't really affect me. Except in two instances.

First, the double shots thing. That is a ****ing joke. I pretty much take one triple shot at home each or every other evening. I more or less can't drink shots in bars because the metered thimbleful of whiskey they give you might as well be a supermarket sample. I like to taste my whiskey, Not barely wet my tongue before realizing it's gone.

Second, the iron curtain. I ate at an Outback Steakhouse out in Sandy this past summer. Besides being a gross restaurant in a grosser locale, I was made to feel uncomfortable when seated at a bar strangely lacking in a bartender, alcohol bottles, or any sort of advertisement for such. Sitting at a bar devoid of anything behind it but a cashiers stand and some water glasses forced me to confront what a lunatics asylum I had traveled to (a mere ten minutes from home), creeped me out immensely and my relief upon leaving the whole cultish atmosphere was palatable. Per my understanding, the new tavern license tradeoff would further extend these types of lunacies. In short, the beady eyed ****s in the leg want to turn The New Yorker into the Outback Steakhouse in Sandy. Which is sickening. Destroying ambiance in the name of cultish paranoia leaves everybody feeling unsettled and strange. I don't like being made to feel unsettled and strange because of fairy tale mormonism. I'd like to ignore mormonism and go about my day. They aren't making it easy.
 
UB said:
Buy good beer at the liquor store. The Devastator is the best thing to come out of Utah since Cytherea.
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I enjoy paying $12+ for a 6 pack of beer.

On a side note, I did not know that Cytherea was from Utah. I knew Belladonna is a Magna girl, but not Cytherea. If she's still around, maybe I can have her come powerwash my siding.
 
I appreciate the support. I do honestly wonder if anyone can justify any of it, though. I want to hear from someone who supports these rules. I am baffled. I grew up in Salt Lake City. I'm a Young. This is my home. I just don't understand how out one side of their mouths Utah conservatives can expound about individual liberty and freedom and then out the other support the laws that regulate liquor in Utah (among other things).

I'm particularly pissed because some local micro-brewers just spent a lot of money to upgrade their packaging (bottling) facilities. This included the ability to produce 5L mini-kegs
mini-keg.jpg
And now the Utah state legislature decided people shouldn't have the freedom to buy a 5L mini-keg. So local small business is out their investment in a then legal product, and the Utah public is restricted, yet again, in a way that makes no sense whatsoever.
 
Gameface said:
I just don't understand how out one side of their mouths Utah conservatives can expound about individual liberty and freedom* and then out the other support the laws that regulate liquor in Utah (among other things).
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* individual liberty applies only to those items guaranteed by the Constitution. It does not include ideals that are counter to the Word of Wisdom.
 
YB85 said:
* individual liberty applies only to those items guaranteed by the Constitution. It does not include ideals that are counter to the Word of Wisdom.
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Aha! I see where I went wrong there.
 
YB85 said:
I enjoy paying $12+ for a 6 pack of beer.

On a side note, I did not know that Cytherea was from Utah. I knew Belladonna is a Magna girl, but not Cytherea. If she's still around, maybe I can have her come powerwash my siding.
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Note: these prices do beat the bar, and a standard 6er is costing about $10+ outside Utah, in my experience.

Cytherea can also clean out your gutters, just costs a bit extra.
 
The double shot has gone from bad to worse. I used to be able to say that I want jack and coke and shot of jack on the side. Not any more. Now you can only get some sort of baby shot on the side. But that's what we get for living in a theocratic state.
 
Meh. Don't really care about this right now. When I run out of the 1.75ml bottle of Crown my sister just brought back from Vegas for me, then come ask me how I feel. Now, I'm ok.
 
YB85 said:
Why can't we have both? Liquored up idiots with guns = thinning of the herd.
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true. same with drugs. if people want to kill themselves or waste their lives on drugs they should have that right. thinning of the herd indeed.
 
kwb said:
Meh. Don't really care about this right now. When I run out of the 1.75ml bottle of Crown my sister just brought back from Vegas for me, then come ask me how I feel. Now, I'm ok.
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Wow $35 worth of liquor.

You're living the dream.
 
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