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10-11 Jazz Season Limericks

Scat

Well-Known Member
After reading through the haiku thread I thought this might be a bit more challenging and fun. Haiku is easy (unless your name is Sloanfeld). Now limericks, it takes a special talent to write a good one.

The Jazz darfted Hayward over the summer
To which many a fan said bummer
But then HOF coach retired
And to the Nets D-will got mired
Now Mr. Hayward can't get enough hummer

OK, so I suck at limericks... let's see what you all have.
 
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When drafting, your thoughts need to simmer
Our draft hopes are getting much dimmer
We're hoping for One
This isn't much fun
Well, at least we'll end up with Jimmer
 
This season the Utah Jazz really sucked
They played with their tails firmly tucked
The first to go was Sloan
Two weeks later Deron was shown
The door and now they're really screwed.

Did I do it right?
 
This season the Utah Jazz really sucked
They played with their tails firmly tucked
The first to go was Sloan
Two weeks later Deron was shown
The door and now they're really screwed.

Did I do it right?

It's a family site. You did well.
 
Oh Jazzfanz you are such a bore
Your opinions I deplore
Draft Jimmer
Wit never dimmer
Sloanfeld's mother is a whore
 
Oh gather all thee, come watch them play ball
We have Hayward and Favors - our team now stands tall
They will dunk, they will score, not matter what town
Kings they will become - to them we will crown
hehepeepeecaca can't think of anything else, what about ya'll?
 
Watching the Jazz has got me thinking
If I quit watching then I would also quit drinking
Watching these clowns
Has got me sucking beers down
By 2018 they might not be stinking
 
I once wrote a limerick for Jazzfanz
But my content would have earned me bans
So I returned to snarfing donuts
And arguing with crazy *** idea proponents
While defending the sexuality of Kardashians.
 
So many things wrong with the team
Everyday they get creamed
Raja Bell is so old
His feet are covered in mold
Having a winning season is but a dream
 
Sit around me and you will see
How the Utah Jazz fall came to be
Sloan left due to spite
For a player who was half white
Jazz Nation cries, woe is me
 
I would bet money that our fans are more poetically talented than clutchfans

It totally sucks that poetry doesn't play a role in determining the NBA championship. Stern obviously has it out for us because I'm pretty sure he's the one that keeps preventing adding rhyme time to the rules. If not for his meddling, we'd be a dynasty by now!
 
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