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My kid and his friends vaping, etc.

str8line

str8line

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My son is 16, has had a job for 4 months, does pretty well in school, and is involved in a music program. I think(pretty sure) he and his friends also vape and may do other stuff. He just made a "secret" hangout room under the stairs in my basement and they painted it. Some of the "wall art" includes a vape pen, a big mushroom and probably some other stuff but I haven't inspected closely. They have taken to "hiking" or hammocking in the mountains as their form of recreation. I'm concerned.

Should I hide my weed better?
 
Lol
That's a tough one.
Parenting is a son of a bitch

Sent from my ONEPLUS A6013 using JazzFanz mobile app
 
Vaping is worse than smoking weed...

I strongly recommend having a talk about drugs and their addictive potential. I would definitely not ignore the issue, afraid to talk about it, like many parents do. Certainly your kid doesn't want to get involved in something he might regret. Although, kids are usually heavily influenced by their friends, especially at that 14-16 age group. IMO, this is the hardest age group to parent, as they no longer feel the need to respect/fear authority figures yet are still too young to think long-term. Even 11th and 12th graders react better to teachers/coaches/parents because their ability to think long-term and rationally is 100x better than those of that 14-16 age group. My recommendation is to focus on:

A). The impacts of e-cigs. This stuff has been marketed to young people specifically because young people aren't aware of their health risks (unlike regular cigs). They're bad things. If they want to argue with you about your weed, explain that their brains aren't fully developed until 25. Even weed can have a negative impact on their health at this age.

B). The importance of having good friends and high goals. Maybe he has aspirations to obtain a college scholarship through band? Your son doesn't want to put all of that at risk because of friends or drugs. E-cigs are addictive and damaging to the brain development.

https://www.lung.org/stop-smoking/smoking-facts/impact-of-e-cigarettes-on-lung.html
https://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/features/vape-debate-electronic-cigarettes#1

C). I'd avoid trying to make him feel guilty or taking away privileges (yet). Again, in my experience, being accusatory and trying to make them feel guilty will backfire. They'll be filled with the attitude of "us (my friends and I) against them (teachers/coaches/religious figures/parents)." Have an open discussion, see what you uncover, and explain your concerns. Ultimately, you want what's best for your son and he should know that through your conversation.

However, he should know that the use of e-cigs as a minor is illegal. Being caught with e-cigs will result in school suspensions. As I remember when I worked in our public education system it resulted in a short suspension and a mandatory drug class for the first offense. The second offense results in a 30+ day suspension. The third offense could potentially lead to expulsion. It is also a misdemeanor in Utah, which could result in him paying fines and losing his employment. Despite your love for your son and your desire for him to invite friends over for fun, you also have every right to protect your home from these types of activities.

https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title76/Chapter10/76-10-S105.html?v=C76-10-S105_1800010118000101
 
The Thriller said:
Vaping is worse than smoking weed...

I strongly recommend having a talk about drugs and their addictive potential. I would definitely not ignore the issue, afraid to talk about it, like many parents do. Certainly your kid doesn't want to get involved in something he might regret. Although, kids are usually heavily influenced by their friends, especially at that 14-16 age group. IMO, this is the hardest age group to parent, as they no longer feel the need to respect/fear authority figures yet are still too young to think long-term. Even 11th and 12th graders react better to teachers/coaches/parents because their ability to think long-term and rationally is 100x better than those of that 14-16 age group. My recommendation is to focus on:

A). The impacts of e-cigs. This stuff has been marketed to young people specifically because young people aren't aware of their health risks (unlike regular cigs). They're bad things. If they want to argue with you about your weed, explain that their brains aren't fully developed until 25. Even weed can have a negative impact on their health at this age.

B). The importance of having good friends and high goals. Maybe he has aspirations to obtain a college scholarship through band? Your son doesn't want to put all of that at risk because of friends or drugs. E-cigs are addictive and damaging to the brain development.

https://www.lung.org/stop-smoking/smoking-facts/impact-of-e-cigarettes-on-lung.html
https://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/features/vape-debate-electronic-cigarettes#1

C). I'd avoid trying to make him feel guilty or taking away privileges (yet). Again, in my experience, being accusatory and trying to make them feel guilty will backfire. They'll be filled with the attitude of "us (my friends and I) against them (teachers/coaches/religious figures/parents)." Have an open discussion, see what you uncover, and explain your concerns. Ultimately, you want what's best for your son and he should know that through your conversation.

However, he should know that the use of e-cigs as a minor is illegal. Being caught with e-cigs will result in school suspensions. As I remember when I worked in our public education system it resulted in a short suspension and a mandatory drug class for the first offense. The second offense results in a 30+ day suspension. The third offense could potentially lead to expulsion. It is also a misdemeanor in Utah, which could result in him paying fines and losing his employment. Despite your love for your son and your desire for him to invite friends over for fun, you also have every right to protect your home from these types of activities.

https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title76/Chapter10/76-10-S105.html?v=C76-10-S105_1800010118000101
Click to expand...


That's good stuff, Thriller.
 
When I caught my 14 year old vaping, I just listened to him. He said he just experimenting it and was not going to do it again (could be a lie, who knows)

I told him that I'm not going to be with him 24X7 the rest of his life and I trust he's going to make smart judgement calls. And if he wants to poison himself there is nothing I really can do about it. But I did ask that he research the health hazards before he heads down that path. I then gave him information and he did his own research.

He then asked me "so Dad, which drugs are really bad and which drugs are just kinda bad"

Holy crap, no good answer.

I told him that if you want to completely screw up your life, go down the narcotics and cocaine path.

Then I said that millions of people really mess up their lives with alcohol, yet many people have a few drinks from time to time and are fine. And that weed to me is in the same category, and if you smoke weed you need to know it is illegal (mostly) and you need pass drug tests to get and keep many good jobs.

So who knows if this was the right approach or not. I don't think it helps to over-react to this stuff.
 
silesian said:
When I caught my 14 year old vaping, I just listened to him. He said he just experimenting it and was not going to do it again (could be a lie, who knows)

I told him that I'm not going to be with him 24X7 the rest of his life and I trust he's going to make smart judgement calls. And if he wants to poison himself there is nothing I really can do about it. But I did ask that he research the health hazards before he heads down that path. I then gave him information and he did his own research.

He then asked me "so Dad, which drugs are really bad and which drugs are just kinda bad"

Holy crap, no good answer.

I told him that if you want to completely screw up your life, go down the narcotics and cocaine path.

Then I said that millions of people really mess up their lives with alcohol, yet many people have a few drinks from time to time and are fine. And that weed to me is in the same category, and if you smoke weed you need to know it is illegal (mostly) and you need pass drug tests to get and keep many good jobs.

So who knows if this was the right approach or not. I don't think it helps to over-react to this stuff.
Click to expand...

Tell him Wes has binge-drank for about 25 years and is doing just fine.
 
The Thriller said:
Vaping is worse than smoking weed...

I strongly recommend having a talk about drugs and their addictive potential. I would definitely not ignore the issue, afraid to talk about it, like many parents do. Certainly your kid doesn't want to get involved in something he might regret. Although, kids are usually heavily influenced by their friends, especially at that 14-16 age group. IMO, this is the hardest age group to parent, as they no longer feel the need to respect/fear authority figures yet are still too young to think long-term. Even 11th and 12th graders react better to teachers/coaches/parents because their ability to think long-term and rationally is 100x better than those of that 14-16 age group. My recommendation is to focus on:

A). The impacts of e-cigs. This stuff has been marketed to young people specifically because young people aren't aware of their health risks (unlike regular cigs). They're bad things. If they want to argue with you about your weed, explain that their brains aren't fully developed until 25. Even weed can have a negative impact on their health at this age.

B). The importance of having good friends and high goals. Maybe he has aspirations to obtain a college scholarship through band? Your son doesn't want to put all of that at risk because of friends or drugs. E-cigs are addictive and damaging to the brain development.

https://www.lung.org/stop-smoking/smoking-facts/impact-of-e-cigarettes-on-lung.html
https://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/features/vape-debate-electronic-cigarettes#1

C). I'd avoid trying to make him feel guilty or taking away privileges (yet). Again, in my experience, being accusatory and trying to make them feel guilty will backfire. They'll be filled with the attitude of "us (my friends and I) against them (teachers/coaches/religious figures/parents)." Have an open discussion, see what you uncover, and explain your concerns. Ultimately, you want what's best for your son and he should know that through your conversation.

However, he should know that the use of e-cigs as a minor is illegal. Being caught with e-cigs will result in school suspensions. As I remember when I worked in our public education system it resulted in a short suspension and a mandatory drug class for the first offense. The second offense results in a 30+ day suspension. The third offense could potentially lead to expulsion. It is also a misdemeanor in Utah, which could result in him paying fines and losing his employment. Despite your love for your son and your desire for him to invite friends over for fun, you also have every right to protect your home from these types of activities.

https://le.utah.gov/xcode/Title76/Chapter10/76-10-S105.html?v=C76-10-S105_1800010118000101
Click to expand...

I almost reported this post before realizing the like button was elsewhere.
I'm completely dumbfounded that I agree with pretty much everything in this post.
I'm going to take the time to do a re-evaluation of my life.
Thanks Thriller.
 
str8line said:
My son is 16, has had a job for 4 months, does pretty well in school, and is involved in a music program. I think(pretty sure) he and his friends also vape and may do other stuff. He just made a "secret" hangout room under the stairs in my basement and they painted it. Some of the "wall art" includes a vape pen, a big mushroom and probably some other stuff but I haven't inspected closely. They have taken to "hiking" or hammocking in the mountains as their form of recreation. I'm concerned.

Should I hide my weed better?
Click to expand...

Of all of the stuff you mentioned, the vaping is probably the biggest concern. Nicotine is very addictive at his age. I would talk to him about not getting himself addicted to that.
 
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